WORKING late at the office was once a euphemism for a man having an affair with his secretary. Now a husband’s long hours have in themselves become the fastest growing reason for women to seek a divorce, even if they do not suspect infidelity.

The research into changing reasons for divorce shows that while violence and adultery broke up post-war couples, modern women judge a marriage by the amount of quality time a couple spend together.

Violence is now blamed for divorce by fewer than half as many women as after the war, while infidelity is mentioned by a third fewer. The percentage citing overwork, by contrast, has more than trebled.

Emotional factors — such as non-communication and lack of attention — have also grown fast and are the most commonly mentioned of all motives for divorce.

The researchers, who are internationally recognised academic experts on divorce, say couples now take a far more “psychological” approach to marriage than used to be the case. In addition, with divorce now far more common, couples are likely to split before relations have deteriorated to the point of violence. About 40% of British marriages end in break-up, four times the rate of the 1950s.

“Motives for divorce in the past were much more serious. Motives today are much more about personal growth and emotions,” said Paul de Graaf, associate professor of sociology at Radboud University in Holland, who carried out the study with Matthijs Kalmijn, professor of sociology at Tilburg University.

“In personal terms the threshold for divorce has come down. People are much more individualist. They are more free and that has changed divorce motives.”

The research was carried out by interviewing more than 1,700 people in Holland who have divorced since 1949. Experts say the trends uncovered in the research are likely to apply to Britain as well.

Anastasia de Waal, head of family and education at Civitas, the social policy think tank, said: “Comparable liberal attitudes and levels of female emancipation in the UK mean the findings in this Dutch research are likely to reflect the situation in this country.

“As women have become more emancipated they have become more financially independent, impacting enormously on the reasons why women marry — and why they divorce.

“Marriage has increasingly become about companionship. When it’s not economics keeping women in a marriage, the importance of relationship happiness is greatly elevated.”

The researchers divided divorcees into three groups: those who had split up from 1949-72, 1973-84 and 1985-96.

They found that unappealing personal habits were the greatest source of unhappiness for women divorcing in the immediate post-war decades. Poor behaviour such as eating with the mouth open, singing along to records or not washing enough was cited by 73% of women and 42% of men.

The second most common complaint was “not able to talk”, at 69% for women and 70% for men; followed by “not enough attention” at 67% for women and 70% for men.

Men’s infidelity and violence were mentioned by 54% of women, while the spouse’s working hours were mentioned by only 8% of women and by no men.

Among couples who have divorced recently, the motives given by women have changed dramatically. In addition to excessive working hours, mentioned by 28% of women, 30% complained about household chores — perhaps because of husbands’ increased absence from home.

Emotional factors, such as lack of attention and communication, have grown in importance, while the proportion of women mentioning men’s personal habits has fallen from 73% to 62%. Violence is mentioned by 21% of women and infidelity by 38%.

The academics say that the trends they identified have now stabilised and that there has been little further change since the 1990s.

Couples for whom work contributed to the destruction of their marriage include Colin Montgomerie, the golfer, and his wife Eimear, who last month agreed a divorce settlement believed to be approximately £8m.

When they separated, Montgomerie admitted that his golf had become an “obsession” that “broke me and . . . aided breaking a marriage”.

Eimear said at the time: “Even when he was back between tournaments, he was only there physically, never emotionally. His mind was elsewhere. We drifted apart. I had my own life. I wasn’t travelling to tournaments. I had developed my own friends and Colin was head-down in his career.”

Kim Addavide, 48, from Corbridge, Northumberland, divorced last November after a 29-year marriage to Leno, 52. She found the demands of her job as an independent financial adviser, combined with her husband’s career in personal finance, had led to a gradual estrangement.

“I was very young when I got married and we had an expectation that you stuck together no matter what, because that’s what my parents did,” said Addavide.

“But things change: I got a career, as did my husband. Once the girls had gone to bed I’d be in the office at home from nine until midnight. He used to travel a lot around the north of England.”

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