IF YOU shake your doormat after 8am, string your washing across the street and then ride off to Parliament in a full suit of armour while in a state of inebriation, then watch out; you could be in big trouble with the law.

But then the law is an ass, and sometimes a very elderly one at that.

Fortunately there have not been that many prosecutions for late doormat-shaking within living memory, and Tony Blair and David Cameron have so far refrained from donning tin suits for their Wednesday jousts across the despatch box. They would, in theory, be breaking the law if they did.

So great is the task of rescinding archaic laws that many weird and wonderful examples, however moribund, remain on the statue book. An exhibition opening tomorrow at the Law Society’s library in central London underlines how many of them proscribe what would now be regarded as harmless everyday activities.

Not that wearing armour in Parliament could now be regarded as an everyday activity, but Edward I clearly thought it might become so when he banned it by statute in 1279.

More than 2,000 obsolete laws have been repealed since 1965, but the clearout continues to throw out many more, some of which have been around for centuries. There are still more than 4,000 Public and General Acts, 11,000 Local Acts and 13,000 Private Acts, all dating from before 1801, which are technically still in force.

From a statute of 1324, any whale washed up on the United Kingdom coastline has to be offered to the Crown and cannot be disposed of without the consent of the Sovereign. By tradition the head belongs to the King and the tail to his consort “to furnish the Queen’s wardrobe with whalebone”.

Do not even think about firing a cannon close to a dwelling house; the offence carries a £200 fine under the 1839 Metropolitan Police Act. Under the same Act the fine rises to £2,500 if you “keep or use or act in the management of any house, room, pit or other place for the purpose of fighting or baiting lions, bears or other animals”.

And mind you behave when borrowing a book. Betting, gambling, using violent, abusive or obscene language or behaving in a disorderly manner in a library carries a £200 fine under the 1898 Library Offences Act. Drinking and driving was a serious offence, carrying a prison sentence or a £200 fine even in 1872, but the Licensing Act of that year had driving a horse, a cow or a steam engine in mind.

Few Acts have been as catch-all or as draconian as the 1847 Town Police Clauses Act, which threatens a £1,000 fine for hanging washing across the street, beating or shaking carpets, rugs or mats (doormats excepted before 8am), singing profane or obscene songs or ballads or using any profane or obscene language, wantonly discharging firearms, making bonfires, flying kites, sliding on ice or snow, extinguishing any lamp, or wilfully and wantonly disturbing residents by ringing their doorbells.

Some ancient legislation is more positive than prohibitive. The Devon and Cornwall Seashore Act of 1609 allows any resident of the two counties to take sand “under the full sea-mark” to improve the quality of their soil. Kevin Martin, president of the Law Society, said yesterday: “These unusual examples illustrate the long history of the lawmaking tradition in this country. They also demonstrate the constant need to renew and update the law.”

A department of the Law Commission is responsible for repealing obsolete laws, by drawing up Statute Law Revision Acts. There have been 17 such Acts since 1965, but the task is ongoing and endless. One day the Commission may get round to weeding out some of the 700 new criminal offences introduced by the present Government.

• Non-solicitors wishing to view the exhibition should telephone 0870-606-2511.

  BY THE BOOK

• The Metropolitan Streets Act 1867 prohibits driving or conducting cattle through any street between the hours of 10am and 7pm. The maximum penalty is a £25 fine for each head of cattle

  Source: The Law Commission

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