The common cold, the mother of all ailments and father of a million sick days, a public health scourge that has for centuries kept one step ahead of a cure, an elusive killer, no less, may just have met its match. The smart folks at Procter & Gamble believe they have hit upon a remedy for the 200 colds suffered in an average lifetime. It comes in the form of a gel, administered by nasal spray, which engulfs and suffocates the virus before ejecting it from the system. It is a bit like pulling a large sack over an intruder and bundling them down a laundry chute. And it is surely cause for frenzied celebration for anyone who is not a manufacturer of paper tissues, menthol lozenges or echinacea tea.

Except that P&G’s work is only half done. The news is genuinely exciting for women, who can look forward to fewer days having to cope with the school run, absent colleagues and dirty washing while fighting a throbbing head, blocked nose and raging throat. But as all women know, especially those lucky enough to share their lives with a male partner, men do not get colds. They get flu; mild, occasionally, but usually serious. Women know that when the male joints ache, they really ache. The accompanying fever is rarely done justice by a simple thermometer. The sufferer would get out of bed in between bowls of weak chicken soup, but such is the potency of the virus that movement is impossible. It is a happy miracle when, after a day on the brink, it becomes mercifully clear that death has been averted. Just in time for the game. For these poor creatures, the search for a cure goes on. And then, perhaps, P&G can get around to tackling the posh cold.

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