Jan Raath in Harare
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The voice uncannily resembles President Mugabe's. “I gave you maize for my election campaign and you made popcorn out of it,” it drones. “I gave you fertiliser and you made kachasu [bootleg] out of it. I gave you cattle and you sold them to the butcher. My people are a terrible disappointment.”
The listeners, crouched over a mobile telephone, convulse with laughter. The voice belongs to a mimic who satirises the speeches of the 84-year-old leader.
Then there is the new ringtone being sold at markets around the country. To the tune of a well-known “revolutionary” song of the ruling Zanu (PF) party of Robert Mugabe, the singers chant derisively: “And for how long are you going to vote for Zanu(PF)?”
The electronic trinkets are part of an onslaught of mockery of Mr Mugabe and his party as he tries to add five more years to the twenty-eight already in power. Only two months ago political satire such as this would have attracted the attention of the Central Intelligence Organisation. But in the absence of the customary intimidation by the brainwashed youth militia and war veterans, the police and the army that has preceded every election since 2000, the climate of terror that has kept Mr Mugabe in control has lifted.
I watched a group of children in the back of a pick-up truck playing hand games yesterday. Not pat-a-cake but the open palm salute of the opposition party Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) and the clenched hands of Simba Makoni, the former Finance Minister who has become a popular independent presidential candidate.
At a weekend rally Morgan Tsvangirai, the leader of the larger faction of the divided MDC, was welcomed by 30,000 open palms and red cards to “send off” Mr Mugabe.
The posters for Mr Tsvangirai list a series of fouls for which Mr Mugabe is being sent off, such as destroying the economy. The posters for Mr Makoni make no word plays but his beaming, boyish face shines out from them, in contrast to the menacing “vote for the fist” declared by Mr Mugabe's, which picture him in a Cultural Revolution propaganda pose, raising his fist in the Zanu (PF) salute and promising hungry, outraged Zimbabweans “revolution, yesterday, today, tomorrow”.
Mr Mugabe made a stiff joke at the weekend about the parties' salutes, asking: “Why do the MDC wave at the British when we should strike them with the fist?”
A poster war is being waged throughout the country. When I passed through the northern town of Chinhoyi last week the walls were plastered with mostly Tsvangirai and Makoni campaign posters. That night, before Mr Mugabe appeared there, they were papered over with “the fist”.
At the beginning of the campaign, coverage by the only permitted, and state-owned, television service in the country was giving Mr Mugabe 202 minutes' news coverage in a month against 9 minutes for Mr Tsvangirai. It has reduced to 86 per cent since 11 days ago, coincidentally at the same time that the observer mission of the Southern African Development Community, the 15-nation regional alliance, arrived.
Since then Zimbabweans have also had the experience of seeing, for the first time in 28 years, full-page advertisements placed by opponents of the regime in the daily press, which is controlled by the ruling party.
There is clearly anxiety now that the observers are not going to rubber-stamp Mr Mugabe's election.
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To: Dambudzo Marechera, Kumaraini, Zimbabwe
Where does "Ian J" say he was White?
Good luck to you all anyway and I hope the Zims get what they deserve.
Nick, London, UK
The exploitation of Zimbabwe's black population under the previous white-minority regime will always remain a distinctly unacceptable episode in the country's history. That the white population should have enjoyed such a fabulous standard of living, at the expense of the black "under class", was quite disgraceful. However, it was not uncommon to hear black Zimbabweans say, after the country's official independence, that they were economically better off under Ian Smith's government.
From a personal point of view, it is simply tragic to see what this once-lovely country has been turned into. Seemingly one of the most horrible places on Earth.
peter koeb, aljezur, portugal
Sorry "Dambudzo Marachera", but most commercial farms had farm schools at primary level, clean water and access to health care etc. no matter how far they were from commercial centres. Precisely because the forex remained in normal banking channels! Not quite the ZANU-ised picture you give - and of course the new ZANU farm bosses are giving their workers all the benefits of good schools, running water and electricity supplies? And that is despite their export of forex at ridiculous rates and of course the parallel market which only really grew in after 1980. A new Zimbabwe needs clear thinkers!
John, Bulawayo, Zimbabwe
Ian J, Ramsgate. A typical white man, conveniently forgetting your complicity in Africa's woes. History is somewhat irrelevant. & the African shld just take all reponsiblity.
Indeed, Africa has a lot to work on but i'm just tired of patronising racists who pretend not to kno why thngs are as they are today. Do you think we love to beg? You create conditons wch give us little option.
The glorified Zim white farmers pillaged the land & made £$ wch they externalised while their workers lived under terrible conditions with no schools, running water, electricity-same as under colonial rule. Your economic sanctions only hurt the ordinary man and further destabilizes the economy. The good old days were only good for the Rhodies hence the scorn & hatred.
No wonder deluded leaders like Mugabe still garner support from many despite the suffering. The whiteman doesnt really care, never has and never will about Africans.
That said, i hope Zimbabweans vote wisely on March 29!
Dambudzo Marechera, Kumaraini, Zimbabwe
when zimbabweans are so desperate for food,you wonder what Gordon Brown thinks of it.The Home Office is trying to send Zimbabwean asylum seekers back. Its worse for the Ndebeles in Matebeleland who are always will be second class citizens for ever.
mandlenkosi, leicester, UK
When ever an African nation goes wrong, they always blame it on the White Man, it's about time these people took charge of their own destiny and stop blaming everything that happens on a group of people who in some cases left over 50 years ago.
The truth is that Africa is riddled with corruption from top to bottom, and the loyalty of the citizen is based on their tribal background, and bribes paid rather than anything as useful as honesty and hard work.
It's time Africa got it's hand out of the begging bowl of western charities and took charge of and responsibility for its own future.
Ian J, Ramsgate, UK
Like the former East Germany, where bellicose belligerance substituted for a time for advanced political and economic thought, where the only true prisoners were the citizens of East Germany, so too is it true in Zimbabwe of today under Mr. Mugabe. However the true demons in Zimbabwe are the paranoid delusions inside Mr. Mugabe's paranoid brain.
Edward B Ryder IV, Greenlawn, NY, USA
More popcorn.
Rob Rowling, Sheffield, UK
Mugabe and his thugs have ruined a once propserous nation - I would hope that the opposition can join together and lead a united Zimbabwe back from the brink of despair. I would also hope that this would bring back the talented people who left the country as they wil be needed to rebuild.
Cam, Brunswick , Maine USA