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There's only one thing to take to a Kenyan election victory feast: a goat. Preferably still breathing - “a sign of freshness“ - and with big testicles, apparently the sign of quality breeding.
And so it was that I found myself bouncing along a dirt track towards the ancestral home of the Obamas in a saloon car with the sound of John the goat bleating miserably from the boot.
It had not been easy finding such a quality specimen. The local livestock market had mostly sheep and cattle, with only a few scrawny goats on hand.
Instead, John was spotted at the side of the road by my driver George, who was impressed by the size of its belly and, well, other attributes.
He was mine for 2500 shillings, a little under £20, and roughly the price of 20 pints of beer or eight malaria-proof bednets.
“This is a fine animal,” said Abongo Malik Obama, at the lush family homestead in the far west of Kenya, surrounded by grazing cattle and fields thick with maize. “You are certainly welcome now to stay and sit around the fire tonight.” By then John will be nyama choma - the Swahili term for grilled meat.
He was to be only one small part of a vast celebration feast starting last night and comprising four bulls, 16 chickens and assorted sheep and goats.
“We are Africans, so our plan is to slaughter a bull and have friends come over,” said Abongo, the candidate’s oldest half-brother.
“We invite Kogelo (the village where Mr Obama's Kenyan family lives) to come over and it will be open house. People will just come on over and bring a couple of sodas.”
Losing has never been considered in a country gripped by Obamamania for the best part of four years. Ever since their “lost son” was elected to the Senate everyone has been expecting him to become president.
Every twist and turn of his primary battle and general election campaign have been followed in the local papers and on television in the belief that his rise was inevitable.
Today, early signs of celebration were obvious everywhere, long before the polls opened.
American flags hung from trees in the city centre of Kisumu, the regional capital, and flapped from the handlebars of bicycle taxis.
The Jamaican reggae hit, “Barack Obama”, by Cocoa Tea boomed from matatus - the battered minibus taxis that most locals use to get around.
And bars were setting up big screens so that patrons could watch television coverage from the US as a whole nation held its breath for the signal to celebrate.
In Kogelo, women peeled onions and stoked cooking fires - yet another reminder of the vast gulf between his American dream and their African reality.
Children rehearsed their songs ahead of a party being held at a neighbouring school, the Senator Barack Obama Secondary School, while gospel music pumped from a marquee where priests were praying for victory.
Abongo, sitting in front of the tin-roofed shack that once belonged to Obama’s father, a government economist who died in a car accident more than two decades ago, said dozens of family members had congregated for a historic event.
“The reason we are here is that we are looking forward to a great day to celebrate,” he said, rubbishing any suggestion that Mr McCain might win. “We are not considering that possibility. I am not,” he said confidently, as a cock crowed in the shade of a mango tree.” The first stage of the celebrations was starting tonight.
Relatives, including some from England, were planning to stay up watching the results start to filter across the Atlantic.
Tomorrow, they will move to the neighbouring school where the chickens are breathing their last.
“It’s going to be chaotic,” said Ben Semel, from New York, who was helping organise the feast, “especially when everyone goes through the election night without sleeping.”
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The USA kills countless turkeys every Thanksgiving in a largely symbolic ritual as well as the pointless destruction of tens of thousands of pine trees during each Christmas.
Try pointing a finger at yourself and snickering for a change.
Lance Uppercut, Chicago, USA
Oh my god! Barack Obama's distant family 'not vegetarians' shock! The horror! The scandal! Hold the front page...
Jon, Derby, UK
Umm, Lili, it WOULD matter if Obama had been born in Kenya, then he would have been Kenyan, regardless of his mother's US citizenship. The fact that he was born on US soil makes him a US citizen, not because his mother was American.
TJ, Houston, USA
I supported McCain, but Obama won, and I think we should congratulate the Obama supporters, do our best to support our new President and move on with our lives. American Democracy means we shake hands and re-unite. I do feel sorry for the goat, but it's the circle of life and all that.
Shefali, Round Rock, Texas, USA
Obama has not only changed America, he has changed his father's land in Kenya and the world at large. Here in Kenya, its all Obama..the streets of Nairobi is awash with people in a carnival mood all adorning Obama regalia and the US flag.
I know he is very American but who cares..Obama is our son
Kiprotich arap Kirongo, Nairobi, Kenya
Wow, where is Peta when you need them. I hope that Barry Sotero will be a good president for our country and that we as a country will accept him as our president. As for the chickens, goats and cows.....they don't have a say in all this.
Lawrence, Ohio, Usa
i think it's DISGUSTING and PRIMITIVE to say the very least.
Obama claims to be an animal lover - WHY DIDN'T HE STOP THIS SLAUGHTER "IN HIS HONOUR"????
gwyn, pretoria, south africa
now thats the way to celebrate!!!!!! time for change, lets get those lobbists out. GO OBAMA!!!!!
audrey, tampa, USA
Love the way they put on name on the goat..haha--first Jpe the plumber, now john the goat. Many cows die here with no name. Im not a vegan.
MandoV, San Pedro,
Share the wealth- I can't wait to get someone else's hard earned money. that way I son't have to work as hard.
Suzzie, Arlington, USA
Jean in Austin said...
"It really is something to say when a president has appeal outside of his country. How refreshing and what a way to heal the wounds of Bush."
Like the "appeal" Bush has in Iraq and in the former Soviet Republics such as Georgia, etc.?
McCain-Palin 2008!
Travis, Austin, Texas
Becky/Hobbs/USA:
Courtesy of your fine country's banking sub-prime calamity, 4th world, here we come!
And what DO you know about the 3rd World? Ever lived in Africa/Asia? In fact you've no need to, just look at the US' own "3rd world" environmental/humanitarian issues it has to deal with.
Felix, Lisbon, Portugal
I hope the goat hasn't died for nothing though the up side is it won't go to waste.
Robert Smissen, Murray Bridge, Australia
We eat all these foods in the US! It's not uncommon to dine on chicken (it's marketed in popular eateries). Bulls are goats are also eaten by many Americans.
What's the big deal?
Lisa, Fort Worth, United States
Isn't it funny how the Republicans want everyone to be like American. Lets see, the Africans, the Indians and then, wasn't it the Japanese that we brought in and kept in war camps, just to make sure they were like us. Now, who are we changing, and is it really for the good of their country?
Andrew, Alb., USA
Well, there goes the PETA vote!
David Baker, Montverde, Florida, USA
Adrian, it wouldn't matter if Obama HAD been born in Kenya; his mother transmitted her citizenship to him at the moment of his birth. (The laws confirm this, nutcases notwithstanding.) And if you had a relative about to become a head of state somewhere, wouldn't you be rather excited?
Lili, Chicago, USA
Quick...somebody call PETA...it's not too late to stage a protest!
Jim, Charlotte, NC, USA
For America to accept the NAU, it must be reduced to the lowest common denominator. Makes me feel like our Cuban brethren in 1959... Obama: make it so!
John, Miami,
Save John the Goat! Vote McCain!
Danny, Fallbrook, CA, USA
Gee, they're acting more like Barack was born there than just a foreign cousin. Perhaps the people who are suing on that point have a case.
Adrian Vance, Lakeport, CA , USA
I wouldn't celebrate too soon. It will a long night here in the US before we have a definate winner. I think McCain will pull this one off, God willing!
Mick, Omaha, USA
Isn't that nice of a kindly Western reporter to bring a goat to the festival. Kenya and America are similar. Neither will benefit at all from The Messiah rising to power.
Hussey, Skegness, U.K.
I see the Sarah Palin withcraft church service video differently now- That priest had only recently arrived into the U.S. when that video was filmed- It seems so hipocritacal of me to respect Kenyan traditions when it comes to Obama's family and then to laugh at Sarah Palin's priest on Youtube
Scott Benowitz, Rye, New York, U.S.A.
HAHAHAHA!!! And to think. All those PETA members supporting Barack Obama. Oh the Irony! Hey Pamela Anderson... Due to your vote, a bunch of animals are being slaughtered. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Bill, New Jersey, USA
It really is something to say when a president has appeal outside of his country. How refreshing and what a way to heal the wounds of Bush. Even places such as Indonesia and Obama, Japan... I really hope he can deliver if elected... many in Kenya are looking to him to change their situation there.
Jean, Austin, TX., USA
Oh, Dee, chill. I'm a 59 year old white woman, and frankly, I'm looking forward to a better country, and a better world, for everyone. I'm sick and tired of all the paranoia, jingoism and general selfishness of the conservatives. "By their works you shall know them."
Barb, Sykesville, USA
Poor animals, and poor America. And, ultimately, poor Earth.
Mark, Jersey City, USA
Yeah!! Let's make fun of other cultures and their traditions. Time to go to the GAP and then pick up a latte at Starbucks!
John, Chicago, United States
A victory for Marxists everywhere
Thomp, Chicago, USSA
That's funny, there are going to be a lot of celebrating around fires in the US tonight and tomorrow as well!
Don, Atlanta, USA
Hmm, I'll probably have a nice leg of lamb this weekend also however I live in a society which has Tesco so I won't be required to 'slaughter' my own. Strangely enough, some folk without a local store with a selection of intensively and some would say cruely farmed livestock prepare it themselves.
Simon, Rennes, France
I'm going to feel really bad for them if Obama loses......NOT!!!!!!!! Go McCain!!!!!!!!!!!!
Janet, Cottonwood, CA , USA
Wow.....and "The Messiah's" supports want to crucify Sarah Palin for shooting moose. What hypocrites!!
Michael Parker, Trinidad,
third world here we come
becky, Hobbs, United States
That's it in a nutshell - "It's going to be chaotic." Leading this country through all this financial turmoil isn't really much to celebrate.
Dee, Pismo Beach , USA