Keep it brief and don’t mention sex or drunkenness — those are the new rules for delivering a eulogy during a funeral Mass in the Roman Catholic Church in Australia.

Cardinal George Pell, the leader of the Catholic Church in Australia, has intervened to ensure the main focus of the funeral Mass remains an act of worship, and has issued guidelines for the conduct of mourners.

They place strict limits on eulogies, limiting them to no more than five minutes and allowing just one to be delivered. The guidelines also urge that eulogies be prepared in advance and be vetted by parish priests.

Eulogies should, in future, recall the deceased’s human qualities, including their faith, and speak honestly and compassionately about their life. It is neither necessary nor desirable that speakers give “a life history of the deceased”, and they should omit any embarrassing remarks about romantic conquests, drinking abilities or attacks on the Church’s moral teachings.

The guidelines also frown on the use of PowerPoint presentations about the deceased, and playing his or her favourite song. Those activities should be left for the vigil Mass, on the eve of the funeral, or for the cemetery.

Yesterday parish priests were divided over the guidelines issued by Cardinal Pell, who is regarded as an arch conservative by many Australian Catholics.

For Father Kevin Murphy, parish priest in the central New South Wales town of Nygan, Cardinal Pell’s guidelines are overdue. He once tried, to no avail, to halt a eulogy that continued for 33 minutes. He has also listened uncomfortably to saucy tales of the deceased’s romantic exploits and adventures with alcohol.

Father Murphy said: “People who come to funerals know enough about the person without that having to be paraded in a religious setting.

“We are asking that God be merciful and take this deceased person home with Him — and these days funerals can become a bit secularised and become, well, over the top.” But Father Paul Finucane, of Wilcannia, an impoverished town in far western New South Wales which has a large Aboriginal population, said: “Laying down the law at funerals is not a good idea. People are vulnerable in their grieving and they like to do the best by their deceased ones.

“At the same time, I think in a gentle way you can guide them to see that having five people speak for 15 minutes each is going to make it a long and tedious funeral,” he said.

Nor did Father Finucane share his Cardinal’s dim view of PowerPoint presentations about the deceased at funeral Masses.

He said: “People are used to that technology now, so it’s starting to become fairly common. When its done tastefully and for not too long, I can’t see a problem.”

Cardinal Pell said that the guidelines, arising from three years of discussions, were needed because too many people had been speaking at some funerals and undertakers’ schedules had been seriously delayed as a result.

“The guidelines also uphold the principle that the funeral Mass is an act of worship and prayer that should not admit elements foreign to its intrinsic nature,” said Cardinal Pell.

The Roman Catholic Church is the country’s biggest, with about five million followers, followed closely by the Anglican Church of Australia, with just over four million.

In England and Wales, Roman Catholic bishops advise that the homily at a funeral is not the place for a eulogy. They place no time limit but state that eulogies should be after communion and before the sending off of the body to be buried.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking; number two fear is death. This means, to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy." — Jerry Seinfeld

“Graham Chapman, co-author of the Parrot Sketch, is no more. He has ceased to be, bereft of life, he rests in peace, he has kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed his last, and gone to meet the Great Head of Light Entertainment in the sky." — John Cleese

“He was eternally stingy. He gave us only 80 years, and it wasn't enough." — Bob Hope on Jack Benney

“When I see a crocodile I will always think of him.“ — Bindi Irwin, daughter of Steve Irwin

"Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy eternity." — James Woods on Bette Davis

"I don’t think Cab Calloway would have stood for all this silence. It’s all right if you just loosen up a piece now." — Bill Cosby on Cab Calloway

Source: Times archives; eulogywriters.com

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