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Traditionally, Americans have looked down on their northern neighbours and Canadians are the butt of a thousand American jokes. But faced with hostility on their foreign holidays, some Americans are going to great lengths to conceal their nationality.
Those prepared to make the switch can now buy maple leaf stickers for their luggage. The truly adventurous can even learn the dialect and replenish their knowledge of the adopted homeland with the help of the quick reference guide How to Speak Canadian, Eh?
Relations between the two countries have been strained by Canada’s refusal to back the US-led war on Iraq. President Bush did not help matters during a recent visit to Ottawa. Confronted by protesters, he said that he was grateful to those Canadians who came out to wave “with all five fingers”.
However, Mr Bush’s election victory last month prompted a flood of inquiries on Canada’s main immigration website. Sensing a business opportunity, an American company is selling a “Go Canadian” package for $24.95 (£13) after an employee heard of someone being harassed over US politics during a recent trip overseas.
“It was not meant as a slight against the US or Canada,” Bill Broadbent, president of T-shirtKing.com, said. “Some people might not mind, but others just want to be on vacation. So we were joking that they could just go as Canadians, and that just kind of evolved.”
The package’s quick reference guide offers tips in case an American in disguise gets quizzed on Canada. On sports the guide suggests: “This is easy to remember. There is only one real sport in Canada and it is called hockey. Regardless of any trivia question, the answer is ‘Wayne Gretzky’.”
If a Canadian had to “deke out of a meeting”, it means he avoided the meeting. If someone is headed to “Hogtown”, that is Canadian for Toronto. A trip to “Cowtown” means that the person is going to Calgary.
TALK LIKE A NATIVE: AN AH TO ZED GUIDE
Allophone: someone whose first language is neither English nor French
Chesterfield: a sofa
Eh?: an utterance regularly injected into conversations which has the meaning “don’t you think?”
Elevator: lift
Homo milk: full fat (homogenised) milk
Housecoat: dressing gown
Keener: sycophant, an overly keen person
Lineup: queue
Loonie: one dollar coin, on which appears a
Loon: native Canadian bird
Pogey: unemployment benefit
Poutine: a dish typical to Quebec consisting of fries, cheese curds and gravy
Runners: trainers
Tap: the same as in British English, rather than the US faucet
The States: the USA
Toonie: two dollar coin
Tuque: knitted hat
Washroom: toilet
Zed: the final letter of the alphabet
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