SILVIO BERLUSCONI went before the world’s media during a visit to President Bush’s Texas ranch yesterday, fresh from a pledge to cut out the jokes and become boring.

Standing next to Mr Bush as a guest on the President’s beloved Crawford homestead, Signor Berlusconi was as good as his word — with a huge helping hand from his host.

During a ten-minute news conference, the Italian leader was hardly allowed to utter a single word, let alone gaffe.

Apart from a prepared opening statement, when he thanked Mr Bush “for making me feel a member of the family”, for allowing him to attend an official meeting and for Mr Bush’s “attention and care” in safeguarding the world, he was scarcely heard from again.

Dressed in the faux informality demanded at Crawford — jacket but no tie — Signor Berlusconi simply stood and watched as Mr Bush was asked about Iraq, Liberia and North Korea. “Why don’t you ask the Prime Minister a question so he can answer a question?” Mr Bush quipped at one point. Signor Berlusconi’s only contribution when later asked by Mr Bush if he wanted to respond to a question was: “No, no. I completely share what the President just said.”

On Sunday Signor Berlusconi told Time: “I’m not a traditional politician, and I have a sense of humour. I’ll try to soften it and become boring, maybe even very boring.” Yesterday he was just very mute.

Nevertheless, the effusive greeting that Signor Berlusconi received from Mr Bush on Sunday, full of cowboy backslaps and wisecracks, was a carefully choreographed piece of political opportunism by both men. For the Italian leader, still reeling from the fallout of comparing a German politician to a Nazi concentration camp guard, it was a chance to relaunch his disastrous start to Italy’s six-month European Union presidency in the full glow of US friendship.

For Mr Bush, it was a chance to show that America was not alone in the world, and that, despite the refusal of France and Germany to back the war and send troops into postwar Iraq, there were other European nations prepared to back Washington. Signor Berlusconi threw Italy’s diplomatic support behind the war and in the past three months has sent Italian police to help to restore civil order to the country.

More than a state banquet, this President views an invitation to Crawford as the highest honour for a visiting leader and the ultimate “thank you” for support over Iraq. Since Mr Bush took office, only six international leaders have received an invitation to the ranch. The three other most vocal and crucial supporters in Mr Bush’s “coalition of the willing” — Tony Blair, José María Aznar, the Spanish Prime Minister, and John Howard, the Australian Prime Minister — have all received the Crawford badge of honour.

After arriving by helicopter on Sunday, Signor Berlusconi received the full Crawford treatment, including a tour of the dusty ranch in a pick-up truck, driven by the President himself.

Although his support for the United States over Iraq ensured him a warm Texan welcome, Signor Berlusconi left Mr Bush in no doubt about their “friendship” in the interview with Time.

“We met only two years ago, but I feel I know him (Mr Bush) like I know my grammar school friends,” Signor Berlusconi said.

“It’s a matter of sympathos. That’s a Greek word from pathos — to understand and feel together.” He added that “anti-Americanism and anti-globalisation are not progressive politics, but are pure ideological trash”.

Both men have much in common. They are businessmen turned politicians, although Signor Berlusconi’s success in building a media empire far outstrips anything that Mr Bush achieved in the Texas oilfields. Both have owned sports teams. Both are conservatives. And both like to think of themselves as straight-talkers.

“We share a clarity in the way you say things. Yes is yes. No is no,” Signor Berlusconi said.

Asked if the Roman Empire had any lessons to offer modern America, he said: “My name is Silvio, not Caesar or Augustus.” But drawing on the observations of Machiavelli, he added: “Every prince needs allies.”

And a square meal. Wrapping up proceedings yesterday, Mr Bush said: “Now, I’m going to see to it that the Prime Minister is well-fed. We’re going to feed him some chicken.”

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