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“GO AND LEARN MANDARIN Chinese,” the commissioning editor said, with an unpleasant glint in his eye. “Take these teach-yourself Chinese CDs, and this instruction booklet. Then, when you have learned Chinese, go out and speak Chinese. You have two weeks.”
Learning to speak Chinese is often used as a metaphor for “impossibly difficult”—along with rocket science, three-dimensional chess, and anything written by Stephen Hawking.
But how difficult can it be?
“That,” the commissioning editor said, lighting another Havana, “is what you are going to find out.”
Today The Times is giving away a CD designed to enable readers to teach themselves Mandarin Chinese conversation, via various conversations reproduced opposite and all next week in times2. My task is to road-test the course. I am not going to attempt written Chinese: the largest Chinese dictionaries contain more than 56,000 characters, and merely to understand a newspaper requires about 3,000. My mission is to develop, in a short space of time, the ability to order a meal, introduce myself and find the loo — basic survival Mandarin.
Experts agree that a teach-yourself audio course is not the best way to learn Chinese. The best way is to be born Chinese and grow up in China.
The second best way is to be taught by Dr Song Lianyi, of the School of Oriental and African Studies (SOAS) at London University, coauthor of the course. Dr Song, jovial and beaming, has the great Chinese virtue of patience—just as well, as he has just taken on his most unpromising student in 20 years of teaching.
“People say Chinese is a difficult language, but what makes Chinese difficult is the writing,” he insists. “As a spoken language it is as easy and difficult as any other language.”
The most tricky aspect of spoken Chinese for a Westerner, Dr Song explains, is the different tones in pronunciation. There are four: the first, high and level; the second, rising; the third, falling and rising; and the fourth, falling. The same word can mean four different things, depending on its tone. The word ma, for example, can mean “mother”, “hemp”, “horse” and “to curse”. In English, pitch patterns add emotional color; in Chinese, they dictate meaning.
In many ways, Chinese is like a linguistic puzzle, fitting together in a series of logical ways: master the tones and you can unlock it. Chinese has no genders, irregular verbs, noun plurals, or tenses. For a novice, however, the tones offer multiple opportunities for confusion, particularly if your name happens to be Ben.
The name Ben is pronounced in the falling and then rising third tone – it also means “root”. The word ben pronounced in the level first tone, means “to dash forward”; in the fourth tone, however, it means, “incredibly stupid”.
To introduce myself, I say: “Wo shi Ben”. A very small change of inflection means that I am announcing: “I am incredibly stupid.” Ask for a “light” (dhuj) in the wrong tone and you might get a “big turkey”.
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Chinese is not a single language, but a collection of dialects!
Its like saying I speak British! Its doesn't mean a thing.
Gordon, Nottingham,
As long as I can order Kung Po Chicken and Won Ton Soup, I know all the Chinese I need.
Dyson, Kent,
I have always liked the Pimseur courses.
I began learning Mandarin for fun after reading Barry Farber's excellent book, "How to Learn Any Language". In it, he describes how he decided to teach himself Chinese after flunking high school Latin - this flowered into his passion for languages whereby he subsequently learned some 25 languages.
Farber mentions two methods he found useful later in life - one of them was the Pimsleur method (you can find it on the web), the other was Harry Lorayne's mnemomic methods.
I don't live in the UK, is there some way I can download this course online?
Daniel DelPercio, Warsaw, Poland
Good luck. Chinese is a real toughie. I have a degree in the language and have also lived in Taiwan for several years already. Not to rain on anyone's parade, but courses that promise you instant results, or for you to learn Chinese in a ridiculous short period of time are seriously under-selling the difficulty and steepness of the learning curve, Honestly? The first five years are the worst, it gets slightly easier after that. Mastery? A life-long task.
Robert Thé, Taipei, Taiwan
You may like to try www.iMandarinPod.com, another Chinese podcast to teach Chinese language and culture. You will find out so many people around the world, like you, are learning Chinese online. and it's easy to get help when you needed.
Xin Li, Boston, USA
Well, if you feel discouraged learning Chinese, first learn machine language, reading and writing in bits, ones (1) and zeros (0). Everything else is simple compared to machine language.
Shirley Jackson, Oliver, BC, Canada
As a student in London and native born in Hong Kong, I taught Cantonese Chinese for British-born Chinese youngsters every weekend. To my surprise mistakes my students made were different from those learning Chinese in Hong Kong. If you are to learn Chinese as a foreign language, extra care has to be taken in sentence structure and writing.
C. Chui, London , UK
Don't worry.Chinese characters also have orderliness which can help you to remember them.For example,except the Chinese hieroglyphs,large numbers of characters can be separated into two parts.One part relates to its meaning,and the other part relates to its pronunciation.And that is very useful for your learning.
Xue Wang, Xi'an, China
no wonder,chinese is much more difficult to learn than english.for there is too deep culture in the chinese.You can't deny the 5000 years history works too much in my ways.
Zidan, Paris, France
Don't worry.The more difficult you think, the less the confidence you have.Chinese characters also have orderliness.Except ideograph,large numbers of characters can be separated into two parts.One relates to its meaning,and the other represents its pronunciation.That is very helpful for remembering and using.
Xue Wang, Xi'an, China
Don't worry.The more difficult you think, the less the confidence you have.Chinese characters also have orderliness.Except ideograph,large numbers of characters can be separated into two parts.One relates to its meaning,and the other represents its pronunciation.That is very helpful for remembering and using.
Xue Wang, Xi'an, China
I spent 12 years working in Hong Kong, during that time I put a lot of effort in to learning both Mandarin and Cantonese with some success. I can reiterate that although this course is great for background, immersion is the only sure way to get results. Ironically, reading and writing I've only been able to tackle properly by living in the UK, not working and having, therefore, lots of time !
Ben Zabulis, Nottingham, England
I'm a Chinese.I'm very glad to see many people study Chinese here.
fei wu, Beijing, China
As an English chap who studied Mandarin for two years at Nanyang University, Singapore, back in the 1970's, I believe that to speak Mandarin is not as difficult as we tend to imagine. Reading and writing, are, of course much harder.
I once told a Chinese friend, that there was not point in me learning Mandarin, as so many Chinese people spoke such excellent English.
His replied, "It will help you to be accepted and Chinese businessmen will trust you more than trusting other Chinese. They know that you can't be as smart!"
T. J. Bearder, Exmouth,
The free CD is great but I cannot find the conversations, listening and understanding strategies for Chinese which are supposed to be on this page. Help.
Thanks
Janet Storey, Penicuik, Scotland
Good luck 'stupid one'. You won't regret it. I have been learning on and off for 12 years and I can say categorically that the first 500 characters are the hardest. You really need to listen to the language as much as possible and not worry too much about not understanding - let the rhythm wash into you. Mandarin is great in itself but it also really helped me with my Japanese which, after thousands of hours of study, is sufficiently good to allow me to run a small research group at the University of Tokyo. I listen to Chinesepod to keep my Mandarin topped up. The downloads are free (although there is a pay for service which gives you access to a whole range of extras).
Matthew Salter, Tokyo, Japan