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Thomas the Tank Engine, the cleanest-living locomotive on the track, would not approve. Train sets on display at the International Toy Fair in Germany include scenes of policemen raiding brothels, battery-driven copulating couples and round-ups of immigrants. There is trouble in Toyland.
Part of the attraction of model trains has always been the order of the landscape. The trains may sometimes fall off the rails but on the whole they run on time. Everything is prim and proper: the plastic fir trees are untouched by climate change; the towns are tidy clusters of gabled homes rather than slum tenements and the little people never talk back.
Little wonder then that train sets appeal not only to children but to adults searching for a safer, more controlled existence. Frank Sinatra was a fan and his heavies would deal with anyone who mocked his hobby. After a nervous breakdown Walt Disney retreated from film-making to model trains. Phil Collins has a set; Neil Young bought an American model train company. Gerhard Schröder, the former Chancellor of Germany, used to sell train kits: one of his ministers had a layout in his attic. Hornby engines moulded the childhood of a generation of British politicians, bankers and generals.
But visitors to the trade fair in Nuremberg have been gaping at the antics around the railway lines. Merten, which makes train-set figures, is offering a nudist beach, a waitress wearing only an apron and stockings and a couple of lascivious pole-dancers. One scene shows a man urinating against a wall, watched by a woman. Another shows a couple performing oral sex. Look carefully at the scene depicting a brothel raid and, behind the naked prostitutes, you will see the figure of a priest trying to make a quick getaway.
Steamy, irreverent stuff for the train set veterans. Sometimes the Lilliputian world of Exhibition Hall 4A resembles a splatter movie rather than a children’s paradise. A horse is about to be battered to death with a hammer by a butcher. A worker at the blacksmith’s appears to have lost an arm. Blood is spread around liberally. Near a castle, a squad of soldiers have just executed a man. And that’s just the start-up kit.
“It’s a brave and depraved new world,” said Der Spiegel, a magazine not easily shocked. Rolf Fleischmann, heir to the Fleischmann model-train dynasty, has a sober, commercial explanation. “We’re trying to make people chuckle,” he said. “You see so many poker-faced collectors in their 50s and 60s who make their trains operate according to their own tightly worked out timetables, and we just wanted to show, especially young people, that it can be a more relaxed world.”
That means introducing more aspects of real life. There are trains carrying nuclear waste — watch that one crash — and freight trains carrying the German Army on combat missions abroad. “Not the Third Reich though,” Mr Fleischmann emphasises. “We don’t do the Third Reich.”
Model trains now come with authentic noises. With the appropriate loudspeakers the nursery can sound as convincing as Clapham Junction. The blend of reality and fantasy, however, confuses German commentators. The pastoral idyll of the landscaped train set has always led to disappointed collectors, says Dirk Kurbjuweit, of Der Spiegel,because the real world was so much worse. “Now Fleischmann is turning the tables — spend a few hours playing in the horrible world of the toy fair and you’ll be glad to return to everyday life.” On track
The world's largest model railway is Hamburg's Miniatur Wunderland, with 9km of track and 700 trains
The hobby began in the heyday of the steam age in the 19th century, but did not take off until electric models were introduced. The oldest society devoted to the pastime is the Model Railway Club in London, founded in 1910
One of the most famous layouts is Pendon Museum’s Madder Valley in Oxfordshire. An intricate rendering of a fictitious valley, it took one man nearly 20 years to complete
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Journos should recognise the difference between a 'train set' purchased in a toy or model shop for the entertainment of children and a 'model railway' which can incorporate everything from landscape modelling, advanced digital and computer technology for control systems to structure modelling, industrial archaeology, considerable skill in material handling, joinery, electronics, academic research and a great deal of ingenuity.
When will journalists stop focussing on the negative and hugely out-of-date stereotyping of our hobby? It's so easy to attack that they do not really understand, especially on a quiet news day.
Railway modelling is a great discipline but one that is hugely social as well - just attend a decent exhibition (such as Model Rail in Glasgow this February) to enjoy the atmosphere which is usually more wholesome and positive that your average football game played by over-paid footballers (The Italian game for example?). I challenge these journalists to come to Model Rail at the Glasgow SEC in February to see the positive and constructive side of the hobby.
Or perhaps they should concentrate on the mismanagement of Great Britain Plc. instead. Surely the government provides enough stupidity to full their papers every day in life?
Seahawk, Nairn, Scotland
I find it really sad that the 21st century media, which is generally staffed by half-literate journalists obsessed with 'celebrity' and minimal experience of real everyday life have the audacity to criticise anything which is beyond their understanding. Sure railway and model railway enthusiasts may be in a minority, but like any snap shot of the population as a whole they are in main law-abiding, cause minimal interference to others and have more skills than most. Now if those same journalists were to criticise groups of grown men who congregate in their thousands to watch other grown men wearing short pants and skimpy shirts kicking an infalted pigs bladder on a patch of grass .....................
John Turner, Barton upon Humber, England
Regardless of whether Journalists are talking about Railroad Hobbies or everyday life happenings, the more the Unsavory and Socially Repugnant things are mentioned the more they appear to become Commonplace, Acceptable and "Normal" in people's minds. In older Dictionaries the word "Rape" had a VERY small inclusion and ANY kind of sex wasn't mentioned in civilized, social mixed company. If we continue to Journalize, Emphasize and draw attention to sex, violence, child molestation and Pornography, etc. it becomes "Acceptable" little by little. Our Society is like the Frog being brought up to a boil slowly in a soup pan. By the time he / we realize how bad it is it is too late!! We cannot ignore real problems but the journalists don't need to draw attention to Obscene things like they do, either. No wonder there is very little "Class" and Civilization left in our "Society".
Theron Helton, Taylorville, Illinois, USA
its time that news papers like the the thundere should focus their energy lobby the government about sorting out the pensions crisis. The ways things are going at the moment i will have no money to spend on model railways when I retire.
Julian Saunders, Hythe, Kent
Model railroading is not just a hobby for rail fans- it allows people to express their creativity (scratch-built scenary, structures etc), spark imagination and do something productive.
Ken, Toronto, Canada
I have to say I find the continual sniping at railway enthusiasts by half-literate media journalists who are obsessed with 'celebrity' and little else but sport to be irritating at the least. If they've nothing worthwhile to say about the harmless activities of others, they should keep it shut!
John Turner, Hull, UK
This is hardly news. Another German model train company released its own range of "Sexy Scene" figures in 2003.
David Bromage, Canberra, Australia
Whatever journalists do, model trains will never be cool. There's nothing wrong with wanting to spend your time making model trains, and I can see it being fun in its own way, but it will never, ever, be either 'cool' or a mass hobby.
The basic point is that your average young person wants a bit of excitement in their life. And if that isn't to be had from playing football or rugby or something, or going on a night exercise with cadets, or...a whole sweep of other things...it'll be had from graffitiing, from vandalism, from arson, from picking fights.
The systematic destruction of constructive outlets for these natural energies, in selling off playing fields, burdening schools and cadet units with red tape and threat of legal action - that is to blame for any rise in anti-social behaviour.
If nothing else, how many troublesome young people do you think will read any article in The Times, let alone one on model making?
Guy Fletcher-Wood, Oxford, UK
Totally agree Clive, I've never been involved in your wolrd but you must sick to the back teeth of all this pathetic critcism, good on ya mate.
Gerry B, Liverpool,
Ordinary people going about their ordinary lives. That is what most railway modellers are. Same as most people who, for some reason that I cannot understand, want to strap planks of wood to their feet and throw themselves down a mountain side, and when it is cold and snowy. Who takes the micky out of trendy skiers.
Why do journalist need to pick on the extremes of the hobby to ridicule the majority. Perhaps if the same reporters were to write about hobbies like model making as being a COOL I think to do so, we may see some of our young people occupying their free time not out trying to get there first ASBO.
Clive Mortimore, Chelmsford, England
It's more than I wanted to know
jbarlow, Lindon, usa
Pendon does indeed house the late John Ahern's Madder Valley layout but that is a sideshow to the main display which is the Vale of the White Horse modelled in incredible detail. The late Roye England was the inspiration behind it but a large group of volunteer modellers have been resonsible for the majority of the work.
Alistair Wright '5522' Models, Melrose, Roxburghshire