It is probably not what Europe’s founding fathers had in mind.

The youth of Berlin will be clubbing through the night to celebrate the EU’s 50th birthday, at the taxpayers’ expense. Dazed, tired and, perhaps, high on drugs, they will then be asked to make sense of the Berlin Declaration, a homily to a half century of European integration that has yet to be agreed by the Union’s squabbling members.

The EU is paying about £1 million towards the all-night rave on March 24, with more than 100 DJs performing at 35 nightclubs across the German capital from 11pm until dawn.

Berlin is playing host, for Germany currently holds the presidency of the Union, and young Berliners will be able to roam around the city in specially provided buses for the EU-subsidised price of €12 (£8).

The party, however, betrays the dead hand of institutional planning. After Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, has signed the Berlin Declaration on Sunday, together with José Manuel Barroso, the President of the European Commission, and Hans-Gert Poettering, the Head of the European Parliament, imported rock-stars will try to recapture some of the spirit of the last summer’s World Cup by belting out their music in front of the Brandenburg Gate.

Most would not be the first choice of the young generation. Joe Cocker, the British rocker, for example, was 11 years old when the Treaty of Rome was signed. Scotland’s contribution, The Unusual Suspects, are billed as the pioneer of “feet-stomping Celtic music.” The hosts are supplying the Big Band of the German Army. The most controversial band is Outlandish, the Danish-Morrocan trio, which has a Muslim fan base. The anti-immigrant Danish Peoples’ Party called for a boycott of its music after band members attended an Islamic conference.

Mrs Merkel will probably appear before the concert begins but even her presence will not be enough to bridge the generation gap.

The official ceremonies begin at the Berlin Philharmonic with a performance of Beethoven’s 5th Symphony, conducted by Sir Simon Rattle. There will be a Presidential banquet and a working lunch of European leaders at the appropriately-named Hotel de Rome. The festivities will end with a firework display.

Seen as a way of kick-starting a new phase of European political integration, the Declaration itself has been shrouded in secrecy and will be communicated to other EU states only a few days before the party. The point of this unusual, last minute, organisation seems to be to prevent individual countries acting as party poopers by quibbling over the wording.

And if you want to celebrate. . .

Organise a street party The families at number 25 and 27 will insist that it was all their idea and you have diluted the fun by inviting the whole street. Don’t forget to ask the Turkish family at No 72, then change your mind and ask for the invitation back. You can’t stop the Romanians from the council houses at the end of the road coming, though. Set a date for the party, then argue about the buffet until midnight the day before. Call it a success, whatever happens

Birthday song Gather the neighbours to sing Ode to Joy. In 40 languages. Simultaneously

Family fun Consult everybody about the sort of celebrations they want. If they don’t want your own favourites ask again until they wearily agree with you

Put out more flags Festoon the lampposts with flags of all EU nations. Under Flag Display Parity of Esteem regulation 24, section vi, paragraph 6a, all the flags must be regulation size. Only the Union Jack will adhere to this, however. None of the neighbours will take any notice of the rule. Take down the Union Jack after the Health and Safety regulation 6,124 deems it a hazard to birds. The other flags continue flying

The birthday cake Cut the cake into 27 pieces. Argue about who put what into it and who should get which slice until it goes stale. Eat it anyway. Complain about the extra bit the Jones’s took and ask who ate all the raisins

Celebrate peace Make a speech pointing out that no-one in the street has attacked a neighbour for 50 years. Try not to look at the nice couple who work at the Deutsche Bank as you say it

Alan Childs

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