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Tony Blair does it with Nicolas Sarkozy, but Angela Merkel prefers not to do it with Mr Sarkozy. His new Government has announced that it will be banned in schools.
“It” is the use of the familiar second person singular – “tu” in French, rather than the more formal “vous”.
French habits have greatly relaxed since the days when only the lower classes and hard leftists used “tu” with people who were not intimates, but the verbal code remains a mine-field. Life was easier, some say, when everyone obeyed the rules. Now, a movement is afoot to restore them.
President Sarkozy’s new Government has stirred up the French education world and pleased traditionalists by ordering all pupils to say “vous” to their teachers and advising les professeursto apply the respectful “vous” to their older school students.
The head of state, who has brought a cool touch to the Elysée Palace, committed a gaffe of his own when he visited the German Chancellor in Berlin on his first day of office last week. Mrs Merkel dropped German formality enough to call him “Lieber (Dear) Nicolas” but stuck to the formal “sie” not the familiar “du”. Mr Sarkozy’s matey reply jarred on old-fashioned ears. “Chère Angela . . . J’ai confi-ance en toi.” (instead of “en vous”) Libération joked that Franco-German harmony was still lacking. “They are going to have to start by agreeing whether they use ‘tu’ or ‘vous’,” it said.
Mr Blair and Mr Sarkozy, who consider themselves friends, always tutoie one another. Gordon Brown’s lack of French – and Mr Sarkozy’s poor English – will remove the problem because they will use interpreters.
President Chirac used “vous” with Mr Blair in public. When Mr Blair, who picked up his French working as a Paris barman in 1975, tutoied Mr Chirac, who is 20 years his senior, officials put his overfamiliarity down to ignorance.
There is a contradiction in Mr Sarkozy’s modern use of “tu”. The right-wing reformer won office with a back-to-tradition campaign that blamed the 1968 student revolt for breaking down French society. “I will liquidate the legacy of May 1968, with its abandonment of moral codes,” he promised.
The schools order is part of Mr Sarkozy’s campaign to reimpose respect and civility across French society. Since the 1960s generation threw off formality, some teachers have let pupils tutoie them and most tutoie their pupils.
Xavier Darcos, the new Education Minister, said: “It is indispensible that children vouvoient their teachers and preferable that teachers do not use ‘tu’ with lycée pupils, so that everyone is in their right place.”
Left-wing teachers’ unions accused Mr Darcos yesterday of exaggerating the problem because few pupils used the familiar second person to address their teachers. The Minister said that he did not mean to damage relations between teacher and pupil but “there must be a necessary distance, defined by le vouvoiement”.
The French adoption of “tu” has not been welcomed universally. Le Figaro complained on Monday that le vouvoiement had been “laid low by rampant tutoiement spreading from the business world imitating the Anglo-Saxons and now invading private life”.
Some French couples in high bourgeois and aristocratic families still vouvoie one another and their children. Even the trades unions say that the systematic “tu”, laid down in some company rules, is a scurrilous plot against the workers, by which the bosses are robbing unions of their dignity and authority.
“It is difficult to call each other “tu” when you are defending staff who have been sacked,” one union official told Tribune newspaper this week.
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Er, Christoph, the Swedes and the Germans are Anglo-Saxons as well (or at least culturally).
Sue R, London, England
I think that children must use "vous" form in all languages that have this distinction. Liberals and communists in all corners of the world tried very hard to make everybody "equal". The easiest way was to allow little brats to call their teachers 'tu". That created an equality, n'est-pas? Madam Vous.
galina, Los Angeles, USA
Norwegian and Danish also have the "tu/vous" distinction, but only use the "tu" form ("du") in ordinary speech. The "vous" form ("De") is restricted to highly formal circumstances -- it sounds funny or strange if used in ordinary speech.
The Danish queen was once asked about how she should be addressed when being interviewed (or doing her day job as a designer): she smiled and replied that it was perfectly OK to use "du"(="tu") when talking to her personally, but when talking to the Queen of Denmark, the polite form was appropriate! Neat, eh?
In Scandinavia, respect is for all people, not simply for titles or positions, and shown by what you do and say, not a matter of grammar. Simply using "vous" won't make a Frenchman polite, will it?
Sam, Montgomeryshire, Wales
I am from N.Ireland and my daughters show respect to all members of society regardless og age, but especially in school.
katherine, coleraine, uk
"Le Figaro complained on Monday that le vouvoiement had been laid low by rampant tutoiement spreading from the business world imitating the Anglo-Saxons and now invading private life......
...Really?
I would have throught the Lazy Socialists from the 1968 era introduced this concept....
Daniel Robson, Melbourne, Australia
Seriously, don't you have anything more interesting to say about France? Who cares? Schools are facing many, many challenges, and this so-called "return to respect" is just ridiculous, not even worth mentioning if that's all our new "ministre" has in store for us. I've always used the formal "vous" with my students, for one good reason: when I started teaching, I was barely older than them and I've always done so with my own teachers. Being French I might just switch back to the "tu" now that I've been told to use the "vous" .
cottenceau, caen, france
yes christoph is right, we always use vous (you) in english, it is us who are formal.
In my experience one always uses vous to people you don't know in france. My daughter is at the lycee francais in london and I would never think of saying tu to her teachers. Nor would she.
However in Spain the use of tu is frequent as opposed to usted.But in South America they never use tu or vosotros, always usted and ustedes.
pinkdrummergirl, london,
Like it. Nice to hear some respect being engendered through the system. Pity we cannot encourage the same in English. Do kids still use "Sir","Miss" or "Missus" at school? If not, they should.
Andy McCaughtrie, Peterborough,
rampant tutoiement spreading from the business world imitating the Anglo-Saxons and now invading private life
How utterly French and at the same time, what utter bosh! It is the other way round: the English were so formal that tu (thou) has virtually disappeared, except among Quakers and Rustics, universalising the vous (you) form. If there is a spread of the 2nd person singular, it comes from the Swedes and the Germans.
Christoph, London, UK
rampant tutoiement spreading from the business world imitating the Anglo-Saxons and now invading private life
How utterly French and at the same time, what utter bosh! It is the other way round: the English were so formal that tu (thou) has virtually disappeared, except among Quakers and Rustics, universalising the vous (you) form. If there is a spread of the 2nd person singular, it comes from the Swedes and the Germans.
Christoph, London, UK