Rosemary Bennett, Social Affairs Correspondent
We've made some changes
to The Sunday Times
Kate and Gerry McCann say that their two-year-old twins, Sean and Amelie, are handling their sister’s disappearance well, and are comforted that the siblings still seek to include Madeleine in their games.
However, experts say that helping children so young to deal with trauma is extremely complex, largely because toddlers cannot understand what has happened and the usual advice to parents to be open and honest is not relevant.
A child psychologist will begin explaining this week to the twins why their four-year-old sister has been away from the family for more than three weeks, and help them to prepare for the consequences of her disappearance.
Although children of the twins’ age are too young to understand the tragedy that has engulfed their family, and they may even appear to be unaffected by the events surrounding them, their parents still need to handle the situation carefully.
“Although they are young they would still miss a member of their close family — a sister is a very big part of their world,” Pat Spungin, a child psychologist and founder of the raisingkids.co.uk advice site, said. “They would typically say things like, ‘I want Maddie now’, instead of using terms like ‘miss’. They may also become fretful or anxious. There are no rules for a situation as ghastly as this, so I would say that anything that makes everyone feel better is fine.”
It is also important that the McCanns explain to the twins that they are not responsible for the emotional maelstrom engulfing the family, Adrienne Swan, a psychotherapist at the Priory Hospital in North London, said.
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Pray that Madeline is safe and that she be found to join her parents and siblings. The same goes for the other children from all parts of the world that have been taken away from their families. Pray for the families too.
Sandy, San Juan, Philippines
I agree with Cheryl Burnswick.I have had the same thoughts she has.I feel as thow she was taken by somone that worked there.I feel that the person that took her had a key to the front door.She will be dressed as a boy and her hair will be dark.She was taken by a woman that wanted a child.I believe Madeleine was singled out by this person.Was there someone that seemed to treat her special?Did a woman that worked there seem more intrested in her then the other childern.She may have gave the key to her husband or boyfriend.I think she is safe and loved by them.I'm afraid what they mite do if they think they were located.
Della Jorgensen, Omaha , USA nebraska
I have very strong feelings Madeline is alive. Madeline is in a small area rocky and sea crashing on them. Some thing of a shoel live setting and it is Portugal. It is a small fishing village.
I also so see Jon Benet Ramsey thread all through this story. Kate McCann is holding up well considering she is targetted to be blamed while time is lost; just like Mrs. Ramsey. The likeness of the two girls is uncanny. We learned nothing from the Ramsey case. Get off the McCanns and the blame game. The are suffering enough. Find Madeline she wants to be found. I doubt her hair is blond now; dyed dark brown and probably cut short and she is dressed as a boy. That was done before she was taken into this area that I have descibed. Police and Intrepol use this information put yourselves in Madeline"s postion. Find Madeline.It is very likely you have seen her. Kate ,I understand your horror and shock.
I will be in touch. I hope this sheds so light. Madeline will be found!
Cheryl, Brunswick, USA , Me
i really do not think tha thet harmed there daughter they do net seem the type at al..there very upset and disraught
jan, london,
Why is it that it seems that when the parents are affluent, focus is turned away to an outside suspect in cases of this nature? I was under the impression that the parents or a relative is usually the offender in roughly 80% of the disappearance or murder of a child. Are the Portugal police not aware of these odds?
Angela, Orlando, Florida
The McCanns weren't the only couple who left their children alone while they went out to dinner. As I understand, the other couples they were on holiday with did the same, although I believe one couple did have a baby monitor with them at the restaurant. My point being that the McCanns are slated and singled out for leaving their three children alone, yet no-one seems to be criticizing the other parents for doing the same thing. I have not yet heard that social services here have been round to these friends of the McCanns and asked them why they, too, left their children unattended.
Carrie, Sunderland, UK
i dont really know what to think anymore but in my heart i believe that kate and gerry did not harm there daughter they just dont seem the type ( but who knows )
at this moment in time i just hope that they can get to the bottom of where maddie is i do now think with all the puplicity that the poor wee girl is not alive but for the sack of her extended family ( we the puplic) we need as do the mccans closure so that people can get on with there lives .
my heart goes out to the mccans and there familys .
sandra smith, coalville, uk
I am praying for the McCann family, & especially for little Madeleine & the twins. It is not surprising that the parents are now considered to be suspects. I really doubt that little Madeleine is alive today. It would not surprise me if her parents, or her mother in particular, are responsible for this.
It's great to be doctors, important people. And yet, why was going out for dinner more important than watching 3 near-baby aged children to them? Surely their friends could have brought food by, or there could have been other arrangements made; such that all took into account how very important it is to not leave an under-4 year old child alone with two 2 year olds?
I hope that the truth is found, & I know that honesty on the part of these parents will be the best thing for all. I pray that they will have the Courage, now, to tell the truth.
God bless you, Drs. McCann. We all make mistakes, some huge - all of us do. Your loss is incomprehensible. May God richly comfort you.
Mary Post, Sacramento, California, U.S.
May God be with you, i hope you find Madeleine
Ana Grie, Exton, USA/ PA
I am with you Kate and Gerry, I do not know what could I have be done if something like this happened to me.
All I hope is the return of Maddie alive and helthy.
May God bless you.
Elizabeth, Santa Cruz de la Sierra, Bolivia
i dont think the mother did it. i pray for the little girl everyday. i hope the find her berfore its 2 late.
Kenzie, Gray, USA
Iam deeply sorry for the unexplain circumstances leading to the disappearance of an innocent toddler. My wife and i have spared your family a moment of thaught ever this the event of three weeks ago.
May the Lord God see you through this trying times peacefully.
BAFFOUR AWUAH, Accra, Greater Accra
May God protect the little angel where-ever she is, and return her back safely to her parent, i can imagine what they are going through right now. may God comfort them.
SARAH AKANDE, LAGOS, NIGERIA
Our prayers and thoughts are with you & your Family. We pray that maddy comes home soon and safe. God Bless!
Ban, West Bloomfield, MI
I do whether Kate McCann is a culprit in Madeleine's disappearance more especially that she was checking on them every after 30 minute before she disappeared. A mother is a mother and it is so painful for somebody to say Kate is involved in Maddie's disappearance. There is no way one can take 9 months of pregnancy, produce, raise the kid and at the end of the you become a suspect. No! Kate, you are in my prayers and let nobody take you as a suspect.
Love
Rose, Kampala, Uganda
only god can make her journey safe...let her return to her root..i'm very sorry to hear this..but together we must pray for her to come back safe to her family...
dodohead, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
TO THE MC CANN'S FAMILY, MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYS ARE WITH YOUR FAMILY, MAY THE GOOD GOD GIVE YOU STRENGHT AND FAITH THAT YOUR DAUGHTER WILL BE FOUND, JUST REMEMBER THAT GOD LOVES HIS CHILDREN AND HE WILL PROTECT HER ALWAYS. GOD BLESS YOU AND GUIDE YOU ALWAYS
CARLENE , MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY
My thoughts and prayers go out to the family, but why would any parent leave their 3 young children alone while they are out having dinner. I blame the parents entirely. If they had been taking care of their children like any good parent should, the children would have never been left alone!
Tammy, Toronto , Ontario Canada
My family is prying for your daughters safe return,
I have three daughters and could not imagine what you are going through. be strong and know allot of people are paying for you all.
I have a sugestion what about a lady by the name of Sylvia Brown she has helped out even the police in cases it is a thought and may really help. everything is worth trying.
Tracy , Morgan City, Louisiana
I pray the Lord will bring your little girl home to you soon.
Linda, O'Fallon, IL
Nothing is hidden in the eyes of God,let us cast our buddens unto him and can review to us our dearly missed young sister ,let God take care of her until we got her.Prayers and supplications can only give us hope,don't despair.
liberty muringayi, harare, zimbabwe
We are all praying for her safe return as a parent i can imagine how bad the family feels
Ian, Durban, South Africa
Yes its a sad time for these parents and I pray to God this angel is returned safe but are we forgetting the fact that these same parents left their children unattended in a hotel room in a strange place? We have to question that. What kind of a parent would do that in this day and age? These children are the most precious gifts that can be bestowed upon oneself. I won't even leave my sleeping granddaughter at home with my son in the basement while I run to the store! Anyone could break in and snatch her without my son hearing them! Parents have got to wake up where the children are concerned! Lets hope and pray that this tragedy is never repeated and that this child is found and returned to her rightful place in this family's home. God bless you all.
R.Waite, Acton, Ontario Canada
I feel so sorry for little maddy and my thoughts and prayers go out to her parents. I hope she is safe and well, and that she may return soon.
while I deeply sympatise for this little angel, I believe that people must think of all the other children around the world who are in her situation or worse. spare a thought today for all these children!
Ronnie, London,
We pray for her safe return, may God give the family courage at this time-
usha, bangalore,
Your family have been in my prayers ever since reading about the disappearance of your daughter.
I will continue prayers for her, for as long as it takes!
God is with her, wherever she is!
God Bless one & all,
Rita, Moore, OK USA
I pray to God Madeleine is safe and that she would be returned to her family very soon and unharmed.
Amani ali, Cairo, Egypt
i read and saw in a photo; that this child has a line going from the black of her eye to the blue of the iris, this is a very rare condition--
Marilyn, Martinsville, Va. U.S.A.
I am very saddened by the disappearence of Madeline and the loss that her family feels. I pray to God that Madeline is returned to her parents and her siblings as soon as possible.
I also remain full of hope that she be returned unharmed.
Lourdes, Boston, Mass.
My heart goes out to the McCann family. My children are over 18, but I still worry about them every single day. May God comfort you in this time of need. May God keep Madeleine safe in his arms and bring her home to you safe and sound.
Paula, Boerne, Texas
my heart is broken, over this having lost 2 of my own children in diffrent accidents 10 years apart it is devastating. you will be in our prayers, the hardest part is u hear them call u u feel like ur going crazy , and u blame urself , i dont know what we're goin to do with these people who abduct children but i know too much of this is happening and its time as a country we protect our kids im mad , so mad it changes my whole atittude about the human race in general , when my 10 year old wz killed by a drunk driver , my other children did'nt sleep , they could' look at his stuff it destroyed our family he had a surviving sister who is 27 years old now and she still has such a loss of him . i will bw on my knees today praying for the safe return of ur child i wish there was more i could do it just leaves u so helpless feeling and so vey angry . its almost as people are born today with no councises (nssic) is it upbringing or lack of im not sure or is it just meanness , love
edith bryant, leesburg, united states/ga
I am so sorry for the family. But I am thankful that they are Christians in that with prayers they will bear the terrific sadness. God knows the evil in this world and we leave it to Him to take care of it.
I pray for this family, my family has had a similar happening. We know the little child is in his hands. God Bless the family.
EWilliams, Blue Springs, Missouri
my heart is broken, over this having lost 2 of my own children in diffrent accidents 10 years apart it is devastating. you will be in our prayers, the hardest part is u hear them call u u feel like ur going crazy , and u blame urself , i dont know what we're goin to do with these people who abduct children but i know too much of this is happening and its time as a country we protect our kids im mad , so mad it changes my whole atittude about the human race in general , when my 10 year old wz killed by a drunk driver , my other children did'nt sleep , they could' look at his stuff it destroyed our family he had a surviving sister who is 27 years old now and she still has such a loss of him . i will bw on my knees today praying for the safe return of ur child i wish there was more i could do it just leaves u so helpless feeling and so vey angry . its almost as people are born today with no councises (nssic) is it upbringing or lack of im not sure or is it just meanness , love
edith bryant, leesburg, united states/ga
My prayers go out to the McCann family.So many children are lost and never found pray that your daughter is not one of them.I pray God she will be found unharmed,
Helen, Wales, Wi USA
Steal a child, get the death penalty. Period. From my perspective, it is worse than murder.
Debbie, Los Angeles, California, USA
Life is full of unexpected things. Children are so important that we need to protect them at all costs. May the Lord protect and guide the McCann's especially their daughter Madeleine. May she return home safe and sound.
Ana Marie G. De Leon, Quezon City, Philippines
May God Bless your family, especially the twin.
missy, kc, mo
It's a disgusting world when people begin to prey on the children.What kind of sick person would do this? I say forget rehabilitation, forget prison, just let the public and parents deal with them.
Darian Chinn, Mansfield, Ohio USA
I pray that your little angel will come back to you safe and sound. Keep trusting God.
Ann Chris, Lagos, Nigeria
my heart goes out the the parents of Madeleine. may the Good Lord protect her and bring her home very safe. all parents should know that the world is no longer a safe place for all of us. it appears there are too many 'sick' people out there and the appeal is that every adult should protect every child they come accross. children are so vulnerable and i feel that if an adult can look into the face of an innocent child (who looks up to every aduld for protection , care andguidance ) and harm him/her, then that adult is not fit to live among humans.
naomi johnson, accra, ghana,west africa
Hearts all over the world have gone out to the suffering parents. Its important we support the Mc Cann's in their fight. This should lead to a global consensus and concerted efforts against child abductors and paedophile's. No one else should suffer like the Mc Canns .Never again.Never Ever again.
Cherian, Kochi, India
May it bring comfort to you that there are people praying and interceeding to God and His Dear Son, , Jesus Christ in hopes that your little angel will be returned to you safe from harm.. Only recently did we have a case in Baltimore where a child was apprehended and later found unharmed. Miracles do happen.. and don't forget that even when we feel that Life has spiraled out of control, God is in the midst of it all and is working it out for the good of all concerned.
Catheye Willis,
Cleveland, Ohio
Catheye Willis, Cleveland, Ohio
Children remember family members - my oldest two were 3 and 4 when their baby sister died - 35 years later Jennifer, the 3 year old, still tells how her sister "went to sleep" - Michelle was a SIDS victim. 6 years later when my grandfather died it made a big impact on Jonathan my 4 yr old - all my children "know" Michelle, Rebecca and Nicholas - all 3 whom have died as newborns - do not ever thing that a child forgets! I pray every day that this darling little girl comes home safely with few scars from her ordeal - and I pray for the family - what a horrific experience they have to be living. I have a 4 yr old granddaughter that lives with me and I am on gueard 100% of the time - there are so many sick people out there that I can not even let her play in the yard like I allowed her mommy, aunts and uncles - what a sad world we are living in when that is not a possibility. I agree, someone knows something, saw something and they need to step up - NOW
S B Clayton, Fort Worth, , TX
When I found out that a very adorable little girl had been abducted while on vacation with family, my first thoughts were, "Who could have done such a thing?" I am about to have my own child and cannot imagine that in just a few short years to have her ripped away from me. My thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of need, as well of those of my family's. When Madeline is returned to you, cherish the time you have with them, and your twins even more, knowing that in an instant, your life could be torn away from you. God bless your family.
Mikayla, Wichita, KS
What happened was very unfortunate but then life doesnt go on only with nice things happening...once too often we do get a bitter taste of fate.I pray to God for the family to make them strong for any eventuality and understand that their loss is not any of their fault.
If there is a place where we can seek peace, it is at the feet of our beloved God and i sincerely hope the McCann family seek HIS grace whenever the going gets though.
May God bless you .
Letchumy, kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
someone has to know something, some one has to see something and i think they should come forward with that imfomation, she is just a baby , to the McCann pray and don't stop God will hear your prayer, think positive , my heart goes out to you, she is still alive , she has to and good luck
Juli, new jersey, USA
To the McCann Family: My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. We will all keep the faith that Madeline
will return to you safely. God Bless.
Debra, NY, USA
Debra, Troy, NY, USA
To the McCann Family my prayers are with you and I believe that GOD will let your daughter come home.
KEEP THE FAITH.
She will hear your prayers and know the world loves her and is praying. God Bless you and your family. Love Always
Patricia Brown, North York, ON, Canada
I do hope that they understand that children as young as the twims will have questions years and years from now about their sister(in the case she is not found). They will understand as they get older--they will never forget their sister.
Laurie, Sebring,
It is upsetting to me that everyone is assuming that this child will not be found.
The Psychologists/Psychiatrists are already counting the money that can be made from this tragedy....shame on them!
Let us all be vigilant and keep our eyes open, someone has to know where this little girl is.
Sue, Boynton Beach, USA Florida
"Inside a year children that young will have forgotten she ever existed. " That is completely ridiculous!! We had a cat put to sleep when my daughter was two and now, at 3 1/2, she still speaks of him.
Those children will remember their sister, as well they should. I'm sure her parents don't want her to be forgotten!
Julie M, Louisville, Ky, U.S.A.
i have always been advised to be honest with children as they WILL ask questions, and they will feed off of an atmosphere.
i would tell them the truth in as simplistic terms as i could, then reassure them as much as is needed and give them support, but above all show them that mummy and daddy are together and that IT WILL BE ALRIGHT.
GOD BLESS YOU McCANN FAMILY X
l gardener, worc, england
Ian's comment couldn't be further from the Mark.
Children have extrodinary memories; they simply don't have the range of emotional control that comes from experience; which means how they are able to demonstrate or express emotions is limited.
Lifetime of Trauma? Does anyone actually believe that something is just in someone's head?
Cut off your arm and see if you miss it a few years later, or question the 'what if's that you'll develop as you realize day after day, more things that 'could have been' if it were still there.
Sara McAtee, Chanhassen, USA, MN
I hope so hope that Madeleine is found alive and safe. Nothing is more worse then to lose a child. My heart goes out to the whole family.
Liz, NY, USA
i think the advice to say nothing is ridiculous and selfish in fact. maybe as they get older, their memories of their sister will wane but in the meantime the toddlers are going to notice the absence of their beloved big sister whom they have played with and looked up to. what is a so-called atavistic parent going to do when a toddler says "i want maddie." just pretend they didn't hear? that's emotional abuse.
Cathy, boston,
Here's a suggestion. Say nothing. Inside a year children that young will have forgotten she ever existed.
The only snag with this strategy is that it _doesn't_ create a lifetime of trauma from which these self-styled experts can profit. Some of us atavists would regard that as a positive outcome.
Ian Kemmish, Biggleswade, UK