How could such nasty people diplomats for their county - Its a shame

katy, Munich,

I think the poor child is lucky to have escaped this family and pray to God the publicity will bring forward a loving couple who will love the child unconditionally.

SHARON RYAN, wales, uk

............How dare some people demand that the adoptive father's government take action against him - he has not been proven to have done anything illegal, to the contrary, it appears he has the best interests of his own family at heart. .....
chris, Manila, Philippines

I can't believe the above guy said that. "..the best interest of his own family...." I wonder what he would have said if his own father tells him to get lost because he doesn't bond well with the others. When you adopt a baby, you make that baby your family! That "diplomat" did it for one and one reason only........

kslee, Maidenhead,

Why wait so long? Why not give her up sooner and enable her half a chance to be adopted by a loving family ...who would love her unconditionally? These two disgust me! They should be investigated thoroughly...I sadly believe there may be more to the story. My heart aches for this child and for all those other deserving couples who could have adopted her. These two deserve no sympathy....merely contemp.

Susie, Denver, CO

Why wait so long? Why not give her up sooner and enable her half a chance to be adopted by a loving family ...who would love her unconditionally? These two disgust me! They should be investigated thoroughly...I sadly believe there may be more to the story. My heart aches for this child and for all those other deserving couples who could have adopted her. These two deserve no sympathy....merely contempt.

Susie, Denver, CO

Dispicable

Susie, Denver, USA

Mr Poeteray and his wife are awful people to do this to a child they adopted as an infant. One can't imagine what this selfish cold and unfeeling couple must have put the child through all these years. Little wonder the child has not "bonded" with them - they probably never treated her as their child. Can you imagine the differential treatement that must have been meeted out to her all these years? How can a child adopted as an infant not have adapted to Dutch food and culture? Its incredulous! Its a shame that the Dutch government is supportive of this man. He should bve removed from office. He is a ntaional disgrace. why are'nt the Dutch doing more? Is this not child abuse?

Rose , San Francisco, CA

Bruce- This is because there are already population problems in places like China. In China couples are only allowed 1 child per family, which means that for over a generation, the child of the family is treated as very precious and irreplacable. For this reason, adoption is almost never considered and rarely an option, especially from another county.
Also, the reason why Americans adopt Chinese and Korean babies is because adoption there is a lot easier than adopting from America.
Finally, and asian adoption a child is almost unheard of. Asian parents sacrafices all the resources of the family into their child to help their bloodline prosper. While I have met countless adopted Asians, I've never met a single person adopted into an Asian family. It's very taboo, many parents wouldn't even want their child marrying an adoptee because there is no way of knowing their genetic history.

sl, nyc,

It is absolutely a crime what these people are doing.
How cruel and unthinking , even a dog you dont give
away if you repent having adopted it , and we are
talking about a little girl.
Shame on them !!!

Ana , Rio de Janeiro , Brazil

I've read a number of comments accusing the Poeterays of racism. Judging from a photograph and his surname, Mr Poeteray is of Moluccan (Indonesian) descent.

There's a large Moluccan minority in the Netherlands who came to live in the Netherlands after Indonesia became an independent state. The Moluccans supported the Dutch claim on Indonesia and many of them joined the Dutch army. When the Dutch left Indonesia, many Moluccans feared retaliation and moved to the Netherlands.

Mr Poeteray may well be a very bad parent but I doubt he's a racist who doesn't like Asian children.

Miranda Vink, Amsterdam, NL

the arguments made by this dutch couple are at best ignorant misunderstanding of basic child development issues; at worst bad lies. that a little girl could be subject to such cruelty after 7 years plays into the worst fears of any child her age: that her "parents" don't want her; that they could give her away. perhaps it's best that she is removed from this dickensian nightmare of a family; for this dutch couple demonstrates such a basic disregard for a life -- perhaps even plain racism -- that after the girl is found a new home, they should continued to be monitored and assessed. certainly, they aren't fit parents of any child.

john, washington, usa/dc

I am of the opinion that the diplomat and his wife used little Jade as a ‘tool’ to integrate better in Asia – to show a little Asian baby as their daughter. Like showing a little dog, which possibly can be taught tricks. When little baby Jade started growing up, as all babies do, and refused to show tricks and come to heels when called, then she was abandoned. They should have adopted a monkey or a dog instead of a child. This is a monstrous crime against this seven-year-old baby – she is going to carry this scar for the rest of her life

While deliberating on the evil actions of Mr. and Mrs. Poeteray, let us not forget the ‘legal rights’ of little Judy. For seven years, she grew up in Mr. and Mrs. Poeteray’s household, thinking that they are her family. Now they have abandoned her. . Every action has a consequence – Society and the Hong Kong Government must ensure that Mr. and Mrs. Poeteray and his employer, the Netherlands, are legally responsible for all expenses related to this child for a very long time. Once she has reached legal age, she should still have the rights to seek further compensation.

The arguments that Mr. Poeteray has put forward for abandoning his child are not logical and sustainable, especially if this case ever goes to court. This child was adopted from the age of four months; it is the duty of her parents to bond with her. The fact that this child has not learned Dutch but speaks English and Cantonese clearly indicates that she has spent more time with English and Cantonese speaking people, instead of her parents. Possibly from adoption, this child was ignored and neglected and hence, never had the opportunity to bond with her parents.

Mr. Poeteray represents his country in Asia. After this event, I am not sure which Asian country will ever have any respect for him or accepts him as a representative. Through his actions against Judy, he has shown himself and his country, the Netherlands, in a very negative light. I suggest that his employers permanently call him back from Asia. He and his wife will always be known as the ‘Dutch couple who abandoned little Judy”. Instead of being an asset, he is going to be a major liability in any capacity, especially when placed anywhere in Asia.

Mathew Abraham, Milton Keynes, United Kingdom

Friends of mine adopted a Korean child who is now grown up; they thought it right to send her to a Korean language school at the weekend, but found that exposure to Korean disturbed her, as she saw them as her parents and English as her own language. There were no problems whatsoever with 'bonding', quite the reverse.

Dectora, London, UK

It is strange. Her parents are far very complex. Most sad thing that the child is not accepted by the parents' friends. There is no different between biological and adopted children. Any child always be a part of the family. More or less. Give up a child is a big questionnable!

Alex Cowen, London, UK

Seven years and her father who is a Dutch Consular official blames an administrative oversight for his failure to get his adopted child a Dutch passport? What about his natural children - bet he didn't forget to sort that out!
As for the claim that Jade doesn't like Dutch food, well, the girl must have been eating SOMETHING for the last seven years or she would be dead. Could it be that she didn't eat her meals with her Dutch parents and so ate whatever the non-Dutch servants fed her, hence her lack of taste for Dutch food? If she speaks English and Cantonese and little Dutch, then it's obvious that she has had little interraction with Dutch people. Since the closest Dutch people are her family, it begs the question, is she really not bonding with her family or are they excluding her?

Lisa, Richmond,

This couple is selfish, irresponsible and totally inhuman. This no longer wanted this child after they had their own children. They used this child and now are willing to destroy her life because they no longer need her to satisfy their desire to become parents. Heartless.

Heidi, Seattle, US

Raised by Dutch parents from 3 months to 7 years and speaks Cantonese, Indonesioan and SOME Dutch!!
Of course the child will have bonding problems with the so called parents, she probably had none with her nannies.

D./ A. Hall, Vancouver, Canada

not real people

dgs, studley, uk

Who cares whether or not the child "bonded". This child has been treated like a stray dog when she did not meet the expectations of her owner. This is monsterous.

William, San Antonio, Texas

another do gooder with the forethought and IQ of a boiled cabage

Udo , melbourne, Australia

BB, the number one "exporter" of babies is China, followed by Russia. Afterwards you can find a few Latin American countries. In any case, most South Korean adopted overseas come from poor, normally peasant backgrounds. They do not come from rich Seoul or Busan.

Joan, London, UK

Tragically, adoption is virtually impossible in the US unless you either are willing to wait up to 12 years and/or are a multi-millionaire, so we had little choice but to investigate overseas. American children rot in youth homes and subsidized foster homes as filled beds mean government dollars for institutions and political correctness stops interracial adoptions cold. My wife and I adopted a beautiful little girl from China. She is the light of our lives. I don't exaggerate by saying that I would die for her. Don't punish the rest of us because of these vicious idiots. It would be like canceling Manchester United's season because a few fans got a little rowdy.

E.I., Pittsburgh, PA USA

I am totally disgusted! The child is a human being and not a toy to be discarded like this. In the photo, she looks so ,so sad & I wander to what extent she has been ill treated. I pray that she is taken by a very loving family who can undo the emotional scars she seems to have.

adele , , mafikeng, south africa

This incident should also raise the issue of rampant baby-dumpting in South Korea by the thrill seeking but irresponsible young female population who just want to enjoy causual sex without the responsiblities it entails. With the 10th biggest economy in the world, South Korea still ranks as the no.1 baby exporter and we all know its not because it poor(it's not poor!) but because of its decaying social norms that are prevalent in the young people to whom babies are just unwanted consequence of free sex!

BB, Dublin,

Chris, Manila - you say "he has not been proven to have done anything illegal, to the contrary, it appears he has the best interests of his own family at heart."

He may not have done anything illegal, but he has treated the child as being a disposable asset (in the "best interests of his own family"), as though it were a dog.

For that he should be morally condemned

Clive, Epsom, England

It doesn't sound to me as if these people were actually vetted by the Dutch social services, who are meticulous and would probably have weeded them out. Meanwhile the average Dutch adoptive family - and in the Netherlands intercountry adoptions are perfectly normal - have now been put in a bad light. How horrible.

Annie, Wymondham, Norfolk, UK

It is a blessing for Jade that her adoptive Durch parents have been honest. What a tragedy and miserable life it would have been for her had they kept silent and did not give her the love she and every adopted child deserves!

Chin, Montreal, Canada QC

""Jade had “serious bonding problems”.""

The people with the bonding problems are the adoptee's not the adopted.

Phill , The Wirral, England

This is pure evil. We do not get rid of our own birth children, when we find their behaviours challenging. We are the adults, it is our role to behave like adults and take responsibiltiy not blame a child. It is apparant that the adoptive mother became pregnant soon after adopting the little girl, this itself can create barriers to bonding with a new child when prorities change. So this girl looses the only parents and siblings she has known. This is inexcuseable. Why were they even allowed to adopt a child that is not even the same ethnic background and on top of that to deny a child his/her identity is bad enough but to turn her into an orphan is dispicable. (adoption social worker)

azra jabbar, birmingham, england

This Man and his wife bring NO honor to Holland or her people. is there any difference between a child trafficer who buys and sell for profit and one who buys and sells for fashion or expediency, in the currency of emotion and life security.. A young life already adrift, has been tipped into another alien situation.
The Foreign Ministry of the Netherlands need to consider if this is a fit and proper person to handle the future interests and reputation of the country. However as in so many of these situations the perpetrators are protected by the establishment and the victim becomes another of the worlds expendables.

Sandy, Victoria,

i may be wrong but i interpret the phrase "did not fit" as meaning that the child did not show subserviency to them for they're high class diplomats and she's an Asian orphan who should know her place in society and her function to serve and please.

OP Teen, London, London

I think they adopted that girl because they could get some money support from their government, usually the more number of family they could get more support. Netherland gov should investigate from when to when they got those monetary support from their government because they dumped her more than 1 year .

tom, HK, HK

The Spanish model Esther Cañadas did the same thing. She adopted an Indian baby and brought her back to Spain and raised her for a while.

Then she met a formula one racing driver (now her husband) who wasn't interested in the kid, so she took the little girl back to India and left her with someone. Just like that.

Arantxa, Cadiz, Spain

how could he say that the little girl failed to adjust to the culture that she has been raised since she was 4 months old? If they have to blame somebody, they should blame themselves. And there is more than enough reason that the couple are condemned by people worldwide. Shame on you!!

jhk, Seoul, Korea

Additional information(from a Korean newspaper, Yunhap News): '4 years after the couple adopted Jade, Mrs Poeteray, who appeared to have been reproductively challenged, got pregnant and has given birth to two children in Honkong. And then they surrendered Jade this year.'

I am not certain if these series of events are deeply related or linked. Just shed a different view on the incident.

Vidam, Seoul,

Think its wrong to give up the adopted girl although its best if they do not treat the child as there own. I personally would treat an adopted child like my own with lots of love and affection. Poor excuse about the child not fitting in to the family.
Really selfish and ungrateful couple to do that do the innocent little girl. I would gladly take her into my home and give her the best I have.

fahima , Cape Town, South Africa

This child was 4 months old when she was adopted, essentially a blank slate as far as culture, food or bonding goes. It is absurd even to talk about her failure to adapt to the family's culture and food. Their culture and food are the only ones the child has ever known. So there is nothing to adapt to or from. The claim about her inability to speak fluent Dutch is ridiculous as well. If she does not speak good Dutch, it's because her parents did not talk to her in Dutch. She speaks English and Cantonese because those are the languages in which she has been spoken to.

Would these people have tried to dump their natural-born children on some professionals or authorities for the sake of better care if they had the same "difficulties" as she?

It's good that she is no longer living with them, as they are likely to do more harm to her than good. But they do need to step up and be responsible for paying for her care and education until she reaches maturity.

SJ, Seoul,

How can you hold a for month old child responsible for not fitting into your family - ridiculous. No child is born with an inherent culture or language, they learn everything from their parents. Jade knows Cantonese and English but only a smattering of Dutch - why was she never taught what should have been her mother tongue?
Such parents should be "Dumped", why leave the child?

Ajaya, New Delhi, India

It sounds to me like he wanted to get a head start and lower any future carbon tax.
But seriously, I think their may be more underlying issues that have not come out, yet. In any event, children are a gift. I'm sure that my wife and I would be happy to adopt such a beautiful child.

Yvon, Seoul, South Korea

We don't know the ins and outs of this family, but the simple fact that they did not organise a Dutch passport for their daughter is very iffy. A Dutch passport can be obtained one year into the adoption, so when the little girl would have been 16 months old. I doubt she had been diagnosed with "fear of bonding" by then.

Caroline, Woking, UK

The failure of a mother to bond with the child can happen with an adoption of any child. It sometimes happens in Canada when a Canadian mother adopts a Canadian child of the same race.

It is seems more likely the older the child is at adoption, the more other children are in the family, the more different the child looks than the adopting parents, and the more defects the child has (fetal alcohol syndrome, other birth defects, etc.) but it is probably more about the particular mother's instincts and emotions than anything else.

Keith T, Winnipeg, Canada

If the babysitter can be believed, the bonding issues seem to be the mother's problem rather than the child's. As for the foolish excuse re Dutch food and culture, the child has been raised in Indonesia and Hong Kong; how much Dutch culture can she have been exposed to from infancy? She seems to have spent her childhood primarily around Indonesian servants, and her father, the diplomat, if photographs can be believed, appears to be largely Indonesian by ethnicity. An aversion to Dutch food? Indonesian food is accepted as part of Dutch cuisine throughout the Netherlands. There is something very strange about this case. It is obviously tragic. I really feel that the mother seems to have been unable to accept this child as her own. If that is the case, and the child's happiness is at stake, why not find a family who wants her? My own daughter (adopted) would be thrilled to have a sibling, and I would be thrilled to have another child.

etienne de beaumont, brooklyn, New York, USA

This is a matter purely between the couple and the child care authorities in Hong Kong (who now represent the interests of the child). Others (who have no awareness of the facts of the case apart from what they read in the media) arrogantly choose to pass judgment from afar.

How dare some people demand that the adoptive father's government take action against him - he has not been proven to have done anything illegal, to the contrary, it appears he has the best interests of his own family at heart. As for the child, would it really be better to keep her in a situation where she has not adjusted?

chris, Manila, Philippines

This is unbelievable.

Lewis B. Sckolnick, Leverett, MA/USA

Why do Asians allow white Europeans and Americans to adopt their children. Would the westerners allow Asians to adopt and movetheir children to China, Thailand, Cambodia or where ever? i think not.

Bruce Northwood, Washington, D.C. , USA

Adoption should always be a last resort- but this is no longer true.

There is too much money being made out of children world wide as they are sold to wealthy people who want to make their family complete or feed their egos.

I know many will state otherwise , but they are lying to themselves.

A whole person does not need a child or baby to be complete- as that is old church propaganda.

I am a witness to the trauma caused by forced adoptions here, and it is not recognised fully.

The baby has bonded with Mum for 40 weeks- so any fool who thinks- quick snatch it at birth and this will solve the problem of bonding.

Well, it will not.

This was a social experiment to see how it would work out, and our children and mothers and fathers were the guinea pigs.

This speaks volumes for our greedy society.

If people want to help- then give money to the natural family and help keep it together.

The evidence on adoption is crystal clear now.

Lilith Barrett, London., UK

My wife and I live in Hong Kong and adopted 2 cambodian children over the last 4 years. They are both wonderful and have fully adapted into their new home. We can never consider giving them up.

What upsets me about the Poeterays is that their action will now undermine other familes like ourselves who want to adopt asian children. The Hong Kong government now will not permit us to legally adopt a third cambodian child in Hong Kong. This was a requirement for us to obtain british passports for our children. Their stance has changed in the past 18 months because of incidents similar to the Poeterays

It frustrates me that their actions are selfish and self centered and have an impact not only on the adopted child but also now on many families who just want to give a child a good home.

Andrew Hudson, Hong Kong, Hong Kong

Give the poor parents a go ! They tried their best and have acted on medical advice in doing the BEST thing for the child - namely handing her over to the relevant authorities. What more could they have possibly done?

Rene Testaburger, Melbourne, Australia

Aww, the poor child. You would think two adults would have learned about responsibility by now and that a child is not an object that you can throw away because she was deemed "difficult". I'm sure that speaks volume of their parental skills and immaturity.

How is this poor child going to understand that the only parents she has known for the past 8 years have discarded her like old bath water. I surely hope that the Netherlands takes some actions against this diplomat. I would not want him to represent my country abroad.

Honestly, how can anybody be this heartless and have such utter disregard for the well being of their children, regardless if they are blood or adopted, she is still their daughter.

Cammie, London, UK,