Roger Boyes
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The proud motto of northern Europe’s crack rapid-reaction force is ad omnia paratus. Prepared for everything, everywhere. But the heraldic lion above the Latin tag now sends a less plucky message – he has just been digitally emasculated and, though technically still a lion rampant, he does not seem to be ready for anything, anywhere.
The change was implemented after a group of women Swedish soldiers protested that they could not identify with such an ostentatiously male lion on their army crest. A complaint of sex discrimination was then lodged with the European Court of Justice.
“We were forced to cut the lion’s willy off with the aid of a computer,” Christian Braunstein, from the Tradition Commission of the Swedish Army, said.
Now the Nordic Battlegroup, a force of 2,400 soldiers, is looking deeply embarrassed. For sceptics who already consider the Nordic Battlegroup to be something of an oxymoron – it is led by the Swedes, who were last in battle in 1809 – the operation on the lion is not an auspicious omen.
“A castrated lion – the perfect symbol for European defence policy,” an American military blogger sneered.
There are 18 battle groups in the European Union and the Nordic one, comprising Sweden, Finland, Norway, Estonia and Ireland, goes on standby on January 1, 2008.
Most upset, though, was Vladimir Sagerlund, the designer of the crest from the National Archives. “A heraldic lion is a powerful and stately figure with its genitalia intact and I cannot approve an edited image,” he told öteborgs-Posten, a Swedish daily.
“The Army lacks knowledge about heraldry. Coats of arms containing lions without genitalia were given to those who betrayed the Crown.”
The Swedish Army still has crests that feature well-hung animals, some of which were also designed by Mr Sagerlund. The eight-legged horse that represents the Logistics unit of the Swedish Army has a distinct bump. Various home army groupings also have crests that feature visibly male animals.
Even so, the heraldic norm seems to lean towards castration.
Royal coats of arms in Norway, Finland, Belgium, Luxembourg and Scotland feature rampant lions who have been snipped. Some crests are ambiguous, but the message remains clear: the lions are supposed to display courage and nothing else.
As for the three lions that feature prominently on the English crest – the pride and joy of England fans everywhere – they are as clean-cut as a eunuch in an Ottoman harem. Perhaps that goes some way towards explaining England’s recent performances on the football field.
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I'm an American Disabled Veteran and would like for someone to either get me one of each of the Lion Patches(before & after) or put me in contact with someone who could do so. I don't mine paying for the patches or shipping. I would like them for my collection for my son.
James Larry Baxter, Whiteville, USA/North Carolina
No problem Garth. I think it might be "fecere" and "fecit" not "facit". Again dragging that out of the deepest dim recesses of memory.
Peter, Dublin, Ireland
TO: Peter, Dublin, Ireland
Peter, thank you very much for your help!
"Amare non bellum facere" sounds better that my version.
You are far more likely to be correct than I am: Back when I was studying Latin, there were no books.. and English was not yet being spoken in England!
Garth Rex, Glendale Heights, USA/IL
A lion is of course male so what else should it have between its legs? But then again I have seen cows in cartoons depicted as male. No wonder children grow up confused nowadays.
"Does anyone know the Latin for "Make Love - Not War?" Would it be: "Facit Amare - non Bellum"?"
Garth, I vaguely remember from secondary school Latin that the verb always goes at the end so "amare non bellum facit" - facit - he she or it makes? Imperative should be something more like "facere"? "Amare non bellum facere"? (A very long time since I opened a Latin book)
Peter, Dublin, Ireland
And yet, it still has a mane...
andrew O, cleveland, United States
"American military blogger sneered." Ahh, the Lesser American chickenhawk showing once again how Americans are toughest when they're blogging.
Dave C., Heanor,
"FACIT AMARE - NON BELLUM"?
The solution to this dilemma is very obvious!
Have/show TWO lions rampant on the Coat of Arms!: One with a willy...the other with a ...jilly! - or is it a "dilly"?! Now, what could be more elegantly egalitarian and politically correct?
Just don't have Willy and Jilly rampanting rampantly with each other, OK? We all know that those Swedes are very sexy, and so on and so forth, but ...think of the children!
On the other hand...on second thought...in the spirit of "Make Love - NOT WAR!" showing a little hanky-panty..may not be such a terrible thing! Just think about it! They could sell those Coats of Arms like HOT cakes! The Swedish Treasury would be rolling in dough!
Does anyone know the Latin for "Make Love - Not War?" Would it be: "Facit Amare - non Bellum"?
Garth Rex, Glendale Heights, USA/IL
The original lion rampant, as illustrated, owes more to the imagination of some unknown Swedish Herald Pursuivant, who seems to have grafted a facsimile of human male genitalia onto the stylised lion. In life, the lion's testicles are apparent caudal to the haunches, and the penis (except when erect) is camouflaged by ventral fur. Thus, the apparently castrated lions rampant throughout European heraldry are rather more realistic than their Swedish counterpart.
Of more concern is the fact that women in the Swedish armed forces are so prudish that they apparently feel offended enough to demand this artistic emasculation, especially since Sweden has long been recognised as one of the more progressive nations when it comes to sexuality.
Bill Q, Derby,
Has Paul seen South African women in army uniform??
Some are lovely and others downright ugly.
There should be no such thing as women soldiers. It is not good for good order and discipline. Believe me I know.
Brian O Cinneide, Durban, South Africa
"Coats of arms containing lions without genitalia were given to those who betrayed the Crown."
That says it all.
PC now stands for political castration.
Mike R.
Mike R, Germany,
If you see a swedish woman in uniform you are in for a treat!
paul anthony, johannesburg, south africa