NEWS just in from the fashion trenches reveals that Chloé, this month’s hottest label, is about to launch childrens’ wear. This is surely music to designers’ ears. Give them the child, to misquote the Jesuits, and they’ll give you the raving label queen. A baby reared on high fashion might even be able to cope with the armour in Dior’s haute couture winter collection.

When I say armour, I’m not talking about the Eighties metaphorical stuff — all those vast shoulder-padded suits that were meant to help us to crash through glass ceilings and crush men’s egos with one nonchalant shrug — I’m talking about the real, full-on metal jacket.

The notes for Dior’s show yesterday revealed that John Galliano, Dior’s creative director, had been inspired by a late-night viewing of Les Visiteurs du soir, a classic wartime French film set in the 15th century. Women dressed as knights, jousters and hedges grappled with stupendous trains, corsets, wimples, heraldic headwear and skirts comprised of whorls of chiffon that quite miraculously resembled moving bits of topiary.

Then came the punk bit and a lot of vulture feathers (the notes said that this section was prompted by the film’s anarchic medieval energy but it may just as easily have been because everyone else is doing punk, and you have to have something commercial even in a Dior show).

After that came the bit where models wore jewelled hourglass skirt-suits that appeared to have been inspired by the burlesque performer and It-girl du jour Dita Von Teese and make-up (Lurex eyeshadow and black patent lips) that seemed to have been borrowed from her husband, the rock star Marilyn Manson.

It’s unlikely that this collection will determine what hits the salesfloor in Zara or M&S come September. Nor, having now seen it in full action, would I advise the wearing of medieval armour — not even isolated pieces as an interesting accessory statement. Articulated metal casing adds inches to a girl’s thigh. What a girl really needs, apart from £100,000 in loose change and a size 4 body, to carry this lot off — especially in 35 degree heat — is the posture of a goddess and the composure of Guinevere. Believe me, you have not seen a model earn her keep until you’ve watched Stella Tennant try to turn a corner wearing a train the size of Luxembourg. Wearing high art can be such a trial.

Sometimes Galliano’s collections seem pointlessly spectacular and self-indulgent, but this had humour, extraordinary craftsmanship and flashes of exquisiteness — those jewelled suits and wasp-waisted chiffon evening dresses. As for the hedges and Galliano’s own outfit, they certainly took fashion to a new place.

Rumour has it that Galliano was meant to look like a cosmic Don Quixote. Either that or Dior is launching adult Babygros.

The only link between Dior’s show and Armani’s earlier in the day was Cher, dressed as a pirate in the audience and wearing so much hair that she was in danger of looking like a fringe curtain. If Galliano drives his atelier teams to greater technical heights each season, Armani takes the more laidback Sven-Göran Eriksson approach — “Here’s a strapless dress; now put a few Swarovski beads on it”. Still, since launching his Privé collection two years ago business has boomed, and not just among Hollywood actresses looking for something pretty to borrow for the Oscars. Apparently there is a global glut of bankers with $1.2 million a year to spend on their wardrobes.

If you’re looking for a beautiful, covered-up evening dress, a dramatic jewelled black opera coat or some pale apricot chiffon red-carpet dresses with bustles and light-as-Victoria-Beckham flowers, this is your label. Just don’t be surprised if Charlize Theron got there first.

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