BROADCASTING BUZZ

Two weeks ago I was left like a pelican in the wilderness, as the good book says. On Monday, Miriam the Keeper of the Diary, diplomatic advisor, computer consultant and handler of emails, departed to the Continent for a week’s R&R. Midweek, the support of my life - me fella - had to be left to the airport to fly to the Middle East to look after his ailing papa.

Not even being written in the stony pages of my great diary guarantees attendance — as illustrated by the no-show of an interviewee for my radio show (a well-known politician and friend; name withheld to avoid embarrassment to family and friends). My afternoon guest did turn up: Sean Dublin Bay Christian Democratic Rockall Loftus, and I interviewed him for my Sunday-morning programme on Newstalk. Full of vim at 80, Sean was a splendid guest, still pursuing the interests of Dublin Bay and our claim on the island of Rockall.

For two days I sat in for George Hook on Newstalk. It was flying by the seat of my pants, with items changing unpredictably, e-mails whizzing in, and a hot mike incident in the middle of a story about a hot mike incident. Still, the listeners seemed to like it, sending in loads of entertaining and supportive comments including several demands that I run for president.

GAY MARRIAGE

I am getting a bit bored with the topic of civil partnership/gay marriage after about 40 years, but I was brought back to life on Questions & Answers when other contributors suggested that one had to balance the right of individuals against the protection of children (no decent person — gay or straight — supports child abuse).

Anyway, after all this, and having recently appeared on both RTE’s Six One and Nine News carping about the minister’s proposed legislation, and having produced a bill that initiated the debate, and having done endless radio and newspaper interviews on the subject, guess what? I get an e-mail from San Francisco from some Irish bird who has come to roost over there enclosing a copy of a letter he has written to all the papers demanding that I resign my Senate seat because I “have been silent on the issue of civil partnership”.

I replied with characteristic Christian charity that he must be deaf and blind as well as dumb, that he should either get a life or get new batteries for his sex toys. Miriam, on her return, does not approve.

NEIGHBOURHOOD PRIDE

I am heavily involved in Pride of Place, a scheme that promotes communities and environment, and North Great George’s Street has been nominated for a prize. We have engaged in frenetic communal activity under the guidance of our outstanding chairman, Muireann Noonan. She had us all out scrubbing our steps, painting doors, polishing knockers, sweeping gutters, and it really did bring a sense of community.

We also run an in-house Preservation Society competition. Let me not hide my light under a bushel: my house won the overall prize and Perpetual Challenge Cup. But let me give credit where it is due — this is down to the work of my wonderful basement tenants Gerry and Paul.

Next day I notice that some mangy little skunks have left neatly tied packages of rubbish on my neighbour’s doorsteps, while unmitigated blackguards brought a van into the street in the early hours and lifted two of our lovely flower barrels. But like Gloria Gaynor, we will survive.

CULTURAL ATTACHE

I used the last few days of the Senate to plug the notion of moving the Abbey Theatre to the GPO. I have received encouragement from the playwright Brian Friel and members of the De Valera family. Perhaps the citizens should march on the GPO in the manner of Pearse and issue a Proclamation on the steps that we have taken it over as the site of the new theatrical revolution.

WAR, WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?

On Sunday, the National Day of Commemoration, I was slightly conflicted. My father was a war hero, heavily decorated in both wars, whereas I am an SRC — State Registered Coward. You only have to point a pliers at my toenails for me to betray all my friends and jump on the Bible. War is one of the most senseless occupations of mankind, but it makes a hell of a lot of money for a small number of people.

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