Pizzas galore!

By my reckoning, 16. Or 17 if you include the little-publicised option of sending your first-born child to the NRA in exchange for free motorway use for life.

Question 6: Which is the odd one out? A) I was asleep in bed at the time. B) I was 250km away in my mother-in-law’s house eating my dinner at the time. C) My licence plates were cloned. D) The tag was too big to fit through my letterbox. E) The dog ate my tag.

E, of course. The others have all been given as reasons by drivers for not paying the “phantom tolls” the NRA levied.

Question 7: What percentage of drivers’ addresses in the National Vehicle Driver File in Shannon are up-to-date? A) 100% B) 70% C) 30% D) 0%.

C. But this won’t get you off the hook if you don’t pay the toll. The NRA uses tax registration files. Bet they’re really accurate.

Question 8: What do TV presenter Claire Byrne, Senator Shane Ross, national icon Gay Byrne and “celebrity” Amanda Brunker have in common?

They all support the Evening Herald’s Fight The Toll Madness campaign. You can too, by signing its online petition. Others who have done so include Justin (“This is a government starving its people by another means of taxation”) and Pat (“We all should refuse to pay; for once let’s live up to the reputation of The Fighting Irish”).

Intolligence Quotient test results:

1-3 correct: Low IQ. You are a normal harried motorist.

4-5 correct: Moderate IQ. You may need to get out more. Just don’t use the M50.

6-7 correct: High IQ. Check your answers again. It’s unlikely anyone could have such a comprehensive understanding of the fiasco that is barrier-free tolling.

All correct: Liar, liar, pants on fire.

kathy.foley@sunday-times.ie

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