What do Hot Press and Jyllands-Posten, Denmark’s leading daily newspaper, have in common? Answer: they both crassly insulted leading world religions last week. Hot Press, the increasingly irrelevant music mag, depicted a Catholic priest masturbating. The Danish paper portrayed the prophet Mohammed as a sabre-wielding terrorist, and in another image as having a bomb as a turban.

There the similarities end. Niall Stokes’s shock tactics earned some mild rebukes on RTE’s Whineline; thousands of Muslims took to the streets of Denmark to protest and the paper received death threats. While the Vatican will turn the other cheek, the ambassadors of 11 Muslim countries called on Denmark to take “steps” against the “defamation of Islam”.

Both editors offered high-minded defences for their cheap gibes. “A comment by someone of real standing as an artist (David Rooney) about an issue of national importance,” said the HP editor.

“To demand that we take religious feelings into consideration is irreconciliable with western democracy,” said the Dane.

But only one of them was being courageous. The other was kicking a soft target when it’s down.

Workers of the world united in solidarity with Garland

International outrage over the arrest of Workers’ party president Sean Garland grows apace. At least in lefty circles. The Communist Party USA (yes, there is such a thing) issued a statement calling the arrest “a violation not only of the civil rights of Comrade Garland as an Irish citizen, but of the sovereignty of the country of Ireland”.

Cuban and Venezuelan solidarity activists have also weighed in, saying it is hypocritical that America would “kidnap” an Irish citizen for a non-violent crime, while knowingly harbouring right-wing terrorists.

Alleged dollar-forger Garland must be comforted by such comradely displays of solidarity. It must be reassuring to know that he has friends in such hot places.

High-rolling Sue popped into Dermot Desmond’s new casino last weekend for a game of blackjack. Having nothing less than €100 notes, and suddenly, er, requiring change for the cigarette machine, your diarist put her card into the on-site ATM. Be warned: it only dispenses 50s.

Meteor learns you should never act with animals

Monkey lovers are going ape over Meteor’s use of an orangutan in its television advertisements. “Harry” is seen in the mobile phone company’s ad holding up signs behind two girls texting each other. More than 30 animal protection organisations from around the world, led by the Captive Animals’ Protection Society (Caps), have signed a letter to Meteor condemning the ad and calling for it to be pulled. Caps pointed out that even PG Tips has stopped using great apes. Ian Redmond, chief consultant to the UN Great Ape Survival Project (Grasp), said: “It is incongruous for an Irish company to hire an endangered animal for use in its advertising. The use of great apes in this way causes a great deal of harm to the hard work of conservation organisations.”

()Meteor says it “doesn’t condone the mistreatment of any animals and the use of Harry was not intended to cause any offence”. There was even a certified animal safety representative in attendance on set throughout shooting, the company assures us.

The monkey business may not be over: the Advertising Standards Authority for Ireland has now received two complaints, although there is nothing in its code about the use of animals.

Efforts by the Irish defence forces to aid victims of the earthquake in India and Pakistan have backfired. The army was first asked for helicopters and earth- moving equipment, but when none were available they offered instead 5,000 ready meals of chicken or beef in gravy. Nice gesture, except most Pakistanis are Muslim and will only eat Halal meat. Most Indians are Hindu and don’t eat meat at all. The defence minister Willie O’Dea says tents and 500 beds will now be supplied instead.

Remember Ted Cunningham, the Cork businessman arrested earlier this year after £2.3m was found in a bin in his back garden? Shortly afterwards staff at his nursing home staged a sit-in over unpaid wages. Tullybeg Retirement Village in Offaly later closed, with Cunningham and two co-owners citing financial troubles.

Some of the patients may be glad it’s gone. An inspection report from last June discovered two “quite ill” patients whose care records were not being updated regularly, that hot water was in short supply and few activities were organised for patients except “board games and bingo”.

In all the hullabaloo about Liam Lawlor, the Irish Times accused the News of the World of lifting the Sunday Independent’s inaccurate story about a hooker in the dead TD’s crashed car. When the error was pointed out, it took D’Olier Street almost a week to correct it. Standards slipping everywhere, then.

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