Smash hit

So-called Dianetics “auditors” were seen offering free stress tests at last weekend’s Bailieborough Agricultural Fair, and are expected to be out in force at similar forthcoming events.

However, Scientologists may find they’re casting their seeds on exceptionally barren ground. Given their aversion to dealings with the Revenue, after all, most farmers would sooner burn in Hell than subject themselves to an audit of any kind.

TDs ready for round two

George Lee, the Fine Gael rookie, complains that TDs argue too much (aah, diddums). The Fianna Fail veteran Noel O’Flynn whines about having to use a Leinster House swipe card. The tanaiste, Mary Coughlan boasts that her government is “lean, mean and very fit”, and invites the Labour leader, Eamon Gilmore, “outside” to prove it. Meanwhile, Labour’s entire Dail party collapses with helpless laughter when a backbencher briefly assumes Gilmore’s seat.

Criticism about the length of the summer holidays on which our parliamentary representatives have just departed is misplaced: what’s really scary is the fact that they intend to come back.

RTE can bring its shows in-house

The news that RTE is thinking about building houses on part of its Montrose grounds is intriguing. Coming after the collapse of the real-estate boom, when even small tracts of the Donnybrook campus would have been worth millions, the decision must be motivated by something other than cash.

Maybe executives are tired of the charge that most shows are fronted by old faces and want to demonstrate their ability to develop new properties.

Alternatively, it could be a programming initiative. Much of RTE’s home-produced output already comprises shows about houses, so turning Montrose into a building site makes logistical sense.

Imagine the money RTE mandarins could save if they got Duncan Stewart, Diarmuid Gavin, Dermot Bannon et al to undertake the construction project. It might be wiser, however, to continue filming Desperate Houses elsewhere.

Stringent checks are born in the USA

Three Texan backpackers, who’d planned a year-long European hiking trip beginning in Ireland, were refused entry by Dublin airport immigration officials because they failed to satisfy the requirement that visitors provide an accommodation address or proof of sufficient funds for their stay.

Before the row was defused by a Dublin hotel-chain’s offer of a free holiday for the trio, Irish-Americans accused Irish officialdom of anti-Americanism. The subtext: Mother Ireland has disgraced herself again.

However, as immigration officials explained, Ireland’s requirements are identical to those imposed on visiting non-nationals by the US authorities.

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