Michael Theodoulou in Nicosia
Star musicians and your favourite Times writers at the Albert Hall
An Iranian proverb maintains that if you trip over a pebble, you should remember it was put there by a Briton. It is hardly surprising that the crisis is proving fertile ground for Iranian conspiracy theorists.
“It was a British trap that we fell into,” a well-travelled and multilingual Iranian businessman sighed with conviction.
Britain, according to the theory, wants to put Iran under pressure on one of its most sensitive territorial issues – the Shatt al-Arab waterway, which forms the historical, racial and religious divide between Persians and Arabs and has been disputed for centuries.
The Royal Navy had deliberately used the 15 as bait for the Revolutionary Guards naval units, according to the theory. Why else were they so exposed so far from HMS Cornwall, their mother ship?
The Iranian businessman pointed out suspiciously that the British invariably referred to the body of water by its Arabic name, the Shatt al-Arab, rather than its Iranian one, the Arvand Rud (river). And he argued that once the Britons are freed, Britain will encourage Iraq to raise this territorial issue and back Baghdad for a settlement in Iraq’s favour. “It’s a typical British policy of divide and rule,” he said.
Another conspiracy is that Britain wanted to provoke a crisis to soften up Western public opinion for increased pressure against Iran, including possible American military action. “People are saying that three years ago, during a similar incident, British forces were shown blindfolded but there was little reaction from Britain,” an Iranian academic in the region told The Times.
“This time we see the British being held smoking and eating on television and London is saying ‘it’s intolerable’. People are asking: ‘Why the inconsistency?’ I don’t necessarily agree with this theory but I’m not dismissing it out of hand.”
Sir Richard Dalton, Britain’s former Ambassador to Iran, responded with clear exasperation. “My advice to the Iranians who used to give me that kind of c*** is that they’ve got to wake up and smell the coffee,” he told The Times.
Historically, Iranians have some ammunition for viewing Britain as perfidious. It was a British-inspired coup, engineered by MI6 with the CIA, that in 1953 toppled Mohammad Mossadegh, the popular Prime Minister, two years after he nationalised Iran’s oil industry, which had been controlled by Britain.
Follow our three athletes' progress in their preparations for the London Triathlon, and pick up training tips and more
Enjoy screenings of all the classic films you love, plus take advantage of two-for-one tickets
We explore leisure activities that are safe and suitable for all of the family
Times Online's new TV show helps you make the right decisions for your pet
Read our exclusive 100 Years of Fleming and Bond interactive timeline, packed with original Times articles and reviews
The latest travel news plus the best hotels and gadgets for business travellers
Shortcuts to help you find sections and articles


Overseas contacts and local business information

A treasure trove of baubles, booty and stylish quests


£129,500
Bentley Edinburgh
£79,850
Mercedes-Benz of Northampton
£26,995
Unit 1, Woodfield Business Unit, Kidderminster Road, Ombersley, Worcester.
Great car insurance deals online
90k + Bonus + Options
Confidential
London
£23,716 +
Highways Agency
National
£
£43,405 - £48,228 pa
Notting Hill Housing
London
£30,000 base, £100,000 OTE
Riches Consulting
London/South
with annexe accommodation and 5.25 acres
£1,100,000
Beautiful Gardens w/ stunning Thames Views
Studios £33K, 1 Beds £60K, 2 beds £79K
Mortgages, bank acc & money transfers to help you buy abroad
Explore mystical Jordan
From £1030 for 7nts 4*
to USA's Most Cosmopolitan City; San Francisco!
£POA
Book Now for Winter 08/09 and Get 10% off!
Great travel insurance deals online
Contact our advertising team for advertising and sponsorship in Times Online, The Times and The Sunday Times. Search globrix.com to buy or rent UK property. Visit our classified services and find jobs, used cars, property or holidays. Use our dating service, read our births, marriages and deaths announcements, or place your advertisement.
Copyright 2008 Times Newspapers Ltd.
This service is provided on Times Newspapers' standard Terms and Conditions. Please read our Privacy Policy.To inquire about a licence to reproduce material from Times Online, The Times or The Sunday Times, click here.This website is published by a member of the News International Group. News International Limited, 1 Virginia St, London E98 1XY, is the holding company for the News International group and is registered in England No 81701. VAT number GB 243 8054 69.
The condition of the hostages according to Mr. Blair is intolerable. However, the hundred and thousands of innocent civilians slaughtered by the British and US army in Iraq. No wonder our appeal for help in EU and UN are falling on deaf ears.
Desmond, London,
Not to get off the subject, but in fact, "wake up and smell the coffee" has its origins in America, in the early 1930's.
Now, as to the conspiricy...hey, the only innocents in this longstapolitical game of cat and mouse are civilians who are the families and other literally innocent parties. No government can claim superiority over this issue.
The U.S, Iran, UK, Iraq--all have their axes to grind, sadly. Who is in the right, well, that remains to be seen, but as the Iranians began the present crises, I think the finger should first point to them.
Nancy, Glens Falls, NY USA
Wierd the way it's happening just now, if you're talking conspiracy theories let's hope it's not tied in with the conspiracy theorists that 6th April is unilateral action day. I'd like to see pictures of the captured Iranians playing chess and smiling.
Jack Barker, Marlborough, UK
I am not quite sure where all this self-hate by so-called British posters come from... perhaps they are part of that Islamic population in England that is letting itself out and will no doubt try to conquer us... MUSLIMS MUST GO back to where they came from if they don't want to learn to live in peace here.
RBT, Liverpool, England
Nice one Gavin, but you'll probably get lots of anti-Gavin posts from cavemen in the US, sadly, for being reasonable and accurate, and right.
kev Lax, Shanghai, China
Britian wants to divert the attention of the people from Iraq and afganistan. and they also want an excuse to attack on iran. Its not simple to understand but there are concpiracies.
zulfqar , london, uk
We British have a proverb, if Iran trips over a foreign policy pebble, they should have remembered they put it there in the first place.
E. Davey, London, UK
I don't believe a word of these conspiracy theories. We're British and we can do what we like, always have and always will - nothing conspiratorial in that!
Robbie Rohan, Great Chart, Kent, Great Britain
The Iranians do indeed have reasons to view the British with distrust, and not just the disgraceful coup against the elected Mossadeq. We have interfered and intervened in the country on many occasions, right back to the Great Game with Russia, through the scramble for oil, our occupation of parts of the country, our support for the Shah and his SAVAK torturers, and our support for Saddam's agression against Iran in the 1980s. This is not to excuse the detention of the Marines, of course, but we are again on their borders. Their people are being held by the Americans (against the wishes of the Iraqi govt and Kurdish authorities) They have every reason to distrust us, even if it is taken to extremes at times.
Gavin, Sussex, UK
"...that kind of crap..."
Congratulations. At long last a public official who describes these conspiracy theories (usually found on blog run by another 'British' media organisation) for what they are.
Hugh, London,
Ajer - It's an American expression, very far removed from Al Quada.
Paul, Rochester, UK
Sir Richard Dalton, Britains former Ambassador to Iran My advice to the Iranians who used to give me that kind of c*** is that theyve got to wake up and smell the coffee, What a weird turn of phrase, the last time I heard that it was from a Muslim fanatic, is the foreign office now getting English lessons from al quada? I'd like to know as I don't have a clue what they are talking about.
Ajer, Basingstoke, UK