Michael Theodoulou in Nicosia
Download 'Too Hot', an exclusive Specials track from iTunes
An Iranian proverb maintains that if you trip over a pebble, you should remember it was put there by a Briton. It is hardly surprising that the crisis is proving fertile ground for Iranian conspiracy theorists.
“It was a British trap that we fell into,” a well-travelled and multilingual Iranian businessman sighed with conviction.
Britain, according to the theory, wants to put Iran under pressure on one of its most sensitive territorial issues – the Shatt al-Arab waterway, which forms the historical, racial and religious divide between Persians and Arabs and has been disputed for centuries.
The Royal Navy had deliberately used the 15 as bait for the Revolutionary Guards naval units, according to the theory. Why else were they so exposed so far from HMS Cornwall, their mother ship?
The Iranian businessman pointed out suspiciously that the British invariably referred to the body of water by its Arabic name, the Shatt al-Arab, rather than its Iranian one, the Arvand Rud (river). And he argued that once the Britons are freed, Britain will encourage Iraq to raise this territorial issue and back Baghdad for a settlement in Iraq’s favour. “It’s a typical British policy of divide and rule,” he said.
Another conspiracy is that Britain wanted to provoke a crisis to soften up Western public opinion for increased pressure against Iran, including possible American military action. “People are saying that three years ago, during a similar incident, British forces were shown blindfolded but there was little reaction from Britain,” an Iranian academic in the region told The Times.
“This time we see the British being held smoking and eating on television and London is saying ‘it’s intolerable’. People are asking: ‘Why the inconsistency?’ I don’t necessarily agree with this theory but I’m not dismissing it out of hand.”
Sir Richard Dalton, Britain’s former Ambassador to Iran, responded with clear exasperation. “My advice to the Iranians who used to give me that kind of c*** is that they’ve got to wake up and smell the coffee,” he told The Times.
Historically, Iranians have some ammunition for viewing Britain as perfidious. It was a British-inspired coup, engineered by MI6 with the CIA, that in 1953 toppled Mohammad Mossadegh, the popular Prime Minister, two years after he nationalised Iran’s oil industry, which had been controlled by Britain.
Win a luxury weekend to Newcastle and its neighbour Gateshead, find out more here
Risk, resilience and embracing new technology
Industry sectors news at a glance. Interactive heatmap, video and podcast
Discover the power of collective thinking. Submit a solution and be in with a chance to win a Media Hub Home Entertainment System
The inside track on current trends in the charity, not for profit and social enterprise sectors
Everything the Business Traveller needs to know to make a better trip
Make the most of the summer and enter our fabulous photographic competition, you could win a £5000 holiday
Corsica is an island of beauty and contrast, an ideal holiday destination
Enjoy further reading from Travel to Fashion, Business to Sport, discover more
Shortcuts to help you find sections and articles
The clever way to lease a new car is with Car leasing made simple™
2009
per month on 36-month
Personal Contract Hire (PCH)
2008
42850
Car Insurance
£24,250 - £30,346
MI5
London
£60,000
The Environment Agency
Bristol
Up to £90K
Boots
Midlands
OTE £85k
Credit Protection Association
Nationwide Opportunities
Completely London
Luxury Condo's in Manhattan with NYC views
The best new homes in Wimbledon?
Nationwide
Fabulous Cruise And Cruise & Stay Offers Including Virgin Atlantic Flights Prices Start From Only £699pp!
Last Minute Cruise And Cruise & Stay Offers. Med From £499pp, Caribbean From £699pp!
5 star quality at a 3 star price.
8 fabulous Canadian cities ...you won’t find cheaper
Contact our advertising team for advertising and sponsorship in Times Online, The Times and The Sunday Times, or place your advertisement.
Times Online Services: Dating | Jobs | Property Search | Used Cars | Holidays | Births, Marriages, Deaths | Subscriptions | E-paper
News International associated websites: Globrix Property Search | Property Finder | Milkround
Copyright 2009 Times Newspapers Ltd.
This service is provided on Times Newspapers' standard Terms and Conditions. Please read our Privacy Policy.To inquire about a licence to reproduce material from Times Online, The Times or The Sunday Times, click here.This website is published by a member of the News International Group. News International Limited, 1 Virginia St, London E98 1XY, is the holding company for the News International group and is registered in England No 81701. VAT number GB 243 8054 69.
The condition of the hostages according to Mr. Blair is intolerable. However, the hundred and thousands of innocent civilians slaughtered by the British and US army in Iraq. No wonder our appeal for help in EU and UN are falling on deaf ears.
Desmond, London,
Not to get off the subject, but in fact, "wake up and smell the coffee" has its origins in America, in the early 1930's.
Now, as to the conspiricy...hey, the only innocents in this longstapolitical game of cat and mouse are civilians who are the families and other literally innocent parties. No government can claim superiority over this issue.
The U.S, Iran, UK, Iraq--all have their axes to grind, sadly. Who is in the right, well, that remains to be seen, but as the Iranians began the present crises, I think the finger should first point to them.
Nancy, Glens Falls, NY USA
Wierd the way it's happening just now, if you're talking conspiracy theories let's hope it's not tied in with the conspiracy theorists that 6th April is unilateral action day. I'd like to see pictures of the captured Iranians playing chess and smiling.
Jack Barker, Marlborough, UK
I am not quite sure where all this self-hate by so-called British posters come from... perhaps they are part of that Islamic population in England that is letting itself out and will no doubt try to conquer us... MUSLIMS MUST GO back to where they came from if they don't want to learn to live in peace here.
RBT, Liverpool, England
Nice one Gavin, but you'll probably get lots of anti-Gavin posts from cavemen in the US, sadly, for being reasonable and accurate, and right.
kev Lax, Shanghai, China
Britian wants to divert the attention of the people from Iraq and afganistan. and they also want an excuse to attack on iran. Its not simple to understand but there are concpiracies.
zulfqar , london, uk
We British have a proverb, if Iran trips over a foreign policy pebble, they should have remembered they put it there in the first place.
E. Davey, London, UK
I don't believe a word of these conspiracy theories. We're British and we can do what we like, always have and always will - nothing conspiratorial in that!
Robbie Rohan, Great Chart, Kent, Great Britain
The Iranians do indeed have reasons to view the British with distrust, and not just the disgraceful coup against the elected Mossadeq. We have interfered and intervened in the country on many occasions, right back to the Great Game with Russia, through the scramble for oil, our occupation of parts of the country, our support for the Shah and his SAVAK torturers, and our support for Saddam's agression against Iran in the 1980s. This is not to excuse the detention of the Marines, of course, but we are again on their borders. Their people are being held by the Americans (against the wishes of the Iraqi govt and Kurdish authorities) They have every reason to distrust us, even if it is taken to extremes at times.
Gavin, Sussex, UK
"...that kind of crap..."
Congratulations. At long last a public official who describes these conspiracy theories (usually found on blog run by another 'British' media organisation) for what they are.
Hugh, London,
Ajer - It's an American expression, very far removed from Al Quada.
Paul, Rochester, UK
Sir Richard Dalton, Britains former Ambassador to Iran My advice to the Iranians who used to give me that kind of c*** is that theyve got to wake up and smell the coffee, What a weird turn of phrase, the last time I heard that it was from a Muslim fanatic, is the foreign office now getting English lessons from al quada? I'd like to know as I don't have a clue what they are talking about.
Ajer, Basingstoke, UK