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FORGET the OJ Simpson and Michael Jackson courtroom circuses: the battle over the body of Anna Nicole Smith became the most bizarre judicial spectacle in US history this week due to the surreal ramblings of presiding Judge Larry Seidlin.
It was a week-long performance from the bench that achieved the seemingly impossible: overshadowing the vaudeville world of the former Playboy model, her decomposing body and the gaggle of men claiming to be her daughter’s father. Judge Seidlin turned himself into a national celebrity and butt of late night comedians by running his courtroom as a cross between Ken Dodd and Tony Soprano.
After transfixing a cable television audience with his surreal pronouncements — one order to the assembled lawyers was “Stay loose. As a goose!” — his wife told the ABC network yesterday what the rest of America has already decided: he should have his own television show.
The denouement came on Thursday when, in floods of tears, he delivered his judgment that Smith should be buried in the Bahamas.
Earlier in the case, he told one highly strung blonde lawyer that she was beautiful, and took mobile phone calls from his wife. He shared his morning exercise routine with the cameras. He called Smith’s mother “momma”.
Judge Seidlin, who paid his way through law school by driving a New York cab, is a native of the Bronx. He might have left that neighbourhood but it has certainly not left him.
Barking out pronouncements in his Florida courtroom in the thickest of New York accents, he nicknamed lawyers after their home states: “California, this doesn’t concern you!”; “Houston, I thought you were leaving!” “Texas” caused a stir on Thursday when he collapsed. The judge shouted: “He’s a diabetic. I can tell by his colour.” He offered to buy him some orange juice and fished out his credit card. Eventually a witness pulled a protein bar from her purse.
In fact Texas said he was fine, and had only tripped.
Mere prose does Judge Seidlin’s parallel universe little justice, so here it is in his own words.
“The wheels of justice aren’t always round. Those wheels, sometimes they’re a little square, and it’s a bumpy ride like the old West.” At one point he said: “When I used to teach tennis I used to wear white shorts and a white top. It always looked good.”
On trying to get the parties to compromise, he said: “We don’t want to make each other out as evil. This is real life. We all come with some broken suitcases.”
Later he added: “In the old days I’d take you in the back room and we would be chopping down some trees. But I remember what Haldeman said to Ehrlichman [of Water-gate notoriety] — what are we doing? We‘re twisting in the wind.”
At one point, Smith’s mother, Virgie Arthur — a lady whose best years, it can be charitably said, are behind her — said: “I wanted to grow up to be a ballerina.” Judge Seidlin replied: “It’s never too late.” The crux of the case was who was Smith’s next-of-kin, and thus who had responsibility for her body. The former model died on February 8 aged 39. The judge ruled that it was her five-month-old daughter, Dannielynn, who has a court-appointed guardian.
By the time he sobbed his way through his ruling, it was Judge Larry Seidling who was the star of the show.
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Give this man his own show please......then he will be out of our courtroom and into someone elses......he will be closely watched by executives who will have a lot at stake and will have to make sound judgements........so it would be a win win situation for everyone!!!
broward county, stuart,
Oh My God!! This whole thing was nothing more than a circus. Contrary to what the ringleader, Judge Seidlin says. Her mother had no right to her in death, she did not support her emotionally in life. My own relationship with my mother was as bad if not worse than Anna Nicole's. The one person who was there for her was Howard K. Stern. He is the only one who really seemed to care about her and was with her through all the good times and bad as well. He knew her final wishes better than anyone. She should be with her son. Let the poor girl rest in peace. And as for Judge Seidlin, he wanted to be the star of his own show and he will probably get it. However, his incoherent ramblings were so nerve wracking that everyone I know, say they would never watch.
I do believe that DannyLynn should be with Howard K. Stern. He obviously loves that little girl with all his heart. She is all that is left to him of Anna Nicole. They should be allowed to stay together.
Lana, Knoxville, Tenn
Enough is enough! Bury Anna Nicole next to her son and hand her baby girl to the person who has been with her since her birth. Does anybody care what this little girl will have to deal with when she begins understanding what has happened? Does anybody care what she will hear and read? Please honor Anna Nicole's wishes, and do what is right. End this three ring circus!
Evonne, Monett, USA
Please stop................. everyone who was ever involved with Anna used her for 15 minutes of fame......including this judge. Bury the poor woman with her son.........do the dna testing so her daughter does not grow up with the wrong father. Do remember, all of you..........we live in an age where all these drama video images will be viewed one day as an adult by Anna's daughter. Don't do this to HER. Everyone do what is right, let her know who really is her father, put her mom and brother who she will never know side by side and quit using Anna for your own financial gain.
Jackie, Alpena, Michigan
First of all, my prayers go out to Howard and that beautiful child! No, I don't think that her mother should have gotten her body!! Why?? Because there was no mother daughter relationship there!! Anna had her wishes to be buried by her son, and she wanted Howard to have the baby! I think her wishes should be carried out! All the others are just after the money, including her "momma"!! And to dig up Anna's son and ttake him back to Texas, is just sick!! Give Anna the respect that she deserves, and let Howard take care of that baby! He is all she really has left that she is familiar with! Don't take that from her too!! May anna finally rest in peace, and hope people see that everyone is after her money! Anna and Howard loved each other, and the baby should stay with Howard! Howard, my prayers are with you and that beautiful baby!
Mary, Fernandina Bch, Florida
I sat fixed with disbelief watching this farce as it was going on in a country such as the USA! and they are supposed to be world leaders.
Denise Burrows, Halesworth, Suffolk
I love Anna Nicole. Please let this woman, who has tried to make a life for herself, have peace now that she is gone from this cold earth. GIve her the respect that she deserves. I hope that we find the true father of dannielynn and that she can grow up with out the disrespect that her mother has endured.
Brian, Buffalo, NY
With that standard of the US judges no wonder people are rotting in detention centres inside and outside of the US and there is no judge who can order the completion of the legal process: reasonable suspicion, arrest, charge, prosecution and conviction & punushment if found guilty or release of the detainees within as short a period as possible.
M S Sheikh, London, UK
It is such a same the we have to live up to what the rest of the world thinks... time after time!
steve, sf, ca, usa
Anna Nicole hated her mother, she said so in a video i seen on E news. What is Vergie trying to do with this?
for some strange reason i think Anna wanted to be next too
her son or why would she buy not one but three plots next too each other. It does not take Einstine to figure this out.
vergie get a life go back where u came from and give your child some peace for once. Money is not every thing,Quit making a sene and bury her before she rots. for crying out loud.
kathy, cinn, ohio
Though I feel some compassion for Anna Nicole Smith, as a fellow human being, the main reason that her case attracts attention is that it's so bizarre (that plus the sex and drugs -- all it lacks is rock 'n' roll). That's also why the judge's somewhat peculiar behavior is being noted. Anna Nicole Smith chose to go to the Bahamas and to buy a plot to be buried there. I'm quite content to have the Bahamas keep her.
Jean Carent, Columbia, USA
Anna should be buried next to her son, no matter where he is!! so why did that take so long to determine? And her "momma" don't love her much if she can't figure that a mother should be buried next to her son!
Cheryl, Toronto, Canada,
The judge was a complete fool. I think Anna Nicole's mom is after money. But, that's irregardless! Anna bought a burial plot next to her son's. Isn't that enough... INTENT?
Sara Scapanski, St. Cloud, USA MN
If you are like me and are amused at society's many oddities, then you watched the proceedings with much interest and enjoyed this new serious and true reality show + the overplayed drama!
I think Taxi drivers should have a chance to become rich and famous as much as strippers, even if they have done odd jobs like becoming a judge along the way. ;-)
It's judge Seidlin's court (oprah house), why can't he get his share of this Billionaire's legacy which included sex, drugs, money, fame and death!
I want to see this in a Broadway musical soon!
J N, Seattle, WA
Just what is there in America that persuedes so many people to go there? It's a mess from its judicial system to its President, from its gun toting society to its religious biggots and so on. America? You can keekp it!
conway, Gerberoy, France
I enjoy reading thoughts from readers around the world. Many seem to miss the point....he thinks like a Baby-Boomer and he was trying to pull all parties together; perhaps with a little humor to ease tensions in the room. And this is just the beginning; next the paternity issue, and for years to come the custody and care of this child. I won't live to see her into adulthood but if she has any gumption like her Mom, she will be fighting all the way.
Martha , Hometown, USA Illinois
By all means give Seidlin his own show--whatever it takes to get him out of the court system.
alloleo, U.S.,
Judges are meant to make balanced and unemotional decisions. The losing side should appeal.
Andrew May, De Panne, Belgium
It was a very odd hearing which dragged on. I believe the mother should have been given custody of Ms Smith's body.
Lesley, Oakland, USA new Jersey
Judge Ito put on a real circus with a straight face. Not to mention the fatherly nincompoop in the British Nanny Case. This guy cracked jokes, yes, he put on a show, yes, but dealt out justice.
Point in case?
Better Salomon as a clown than Mary Poppins with a frown.
Eugene Cappuccio, Heidelberg, germany
It's not just the judge who needs therapy - it's the whole of the America that made him what he is, made Smith who she was, and now continue this surreal media circus. "Only in America" can be applied to many aspects of the US, some good, some bad - but this whole spectacle definitely belongs to the latter. I fear for a country that is losing it's collective mind in such a public and drawn out way.
Alex Kerr, London, UK
I will not watch any tv show of his . He is a disgrace to the law courts.
jane, albany , ga
If the 56 year old judge were a woman, they'd say he was menopausal. Since he's a man, he's crazy.
I think he's merely a colorful character, and possibly incompetent. I think he took way too long in deciding the case (if you could call handing the matter over to the baby's law guardian 'deciding'). I would have ruled to bury Anna Nicole next to her son. What does it really matter where that is? It was her choice to bury her son in the Bahamas (whether she was out of her mind or not)...and that's where they should stay. Their souls are not in the ground, only their bodies.
Kate, Lakeside, USA NC
Prior to today I had never heard of Anna Nicole Smith, and nothing in Tim Reid's article has persuaded that I was missing anything serious in not doing so. Don't the Times have anything more important to talk about than a model with an inconsequential life, who happens to have died?
Shouvik Datta, Incheon, South Korea
NO NO NO tv show... do not patronize this kind of mockery. He is a disgrace to this countrys judicial system. He had no sympathy for this case when he was clearly thinking of his own future. I only hope for the baby's sake that future judges will be show more integrity and respect for all parties and what he is supposed to represent.
This country is in so much trouble all around.
Jennifer Martin , Marathon, US/Fl
Only in the cartoon world of America would this happen.
Would this ever happen in an English court? - it is completely and utterly ridiculous having watched it I thought it was a joke.
Ali, Kent, England
Human being who is a lawyer not news. Lawyer with humanity - now that is news!
Christopher Gillibrand, Brussels (in exile), Belgium
I think Judge Seidlin is funny, but the matter isn't. I am disappointed that he didn't really make a decision. His routine might be amusing on TV, but this wasn't the proper forum. If he wants a tv court show, let him have it, but this wasn't the place.
Helen Skarulis, Pasadena, md
What a strange thing.The man needs therapy surely.
Does he cry in every case....or is it just because he wants some publicity?Only in america
Dean, Alicante, Spain
Judge Larry shows the human face of law.He is obviously a sensitive soul. Amercia should be proud of him.He sho;ud be promyed the The Supreme Court of ther United States . I look forward to seeing him inthe Bold and Beautiful\ but really Judge Judy should have heard this case,
Ron Silver, Melbourne , Australia
Sounds like he needs therapy.
Dude, Lakewood, CA
SICK SICK SICK !!!! Is there a doctor in the house?
John Ryckman, San Francisco, Ca.
When are they going to televise his next show...er, case?
Essell Cook, Stafford, Virginia
I loved this judge! He is a mensch.
Gerry Simons, las vegas, nv
why does this have to drag on the way it has? just get the DNA test completed and let this whole thing die down . hopefully that baby dosen,t belong to howard stern .he certainly dosen,t havee the baby,s best interest @ heart. HE displayed that well when he videotaped Anna with her clown face. and her mother also appears to be a misfit.
mary stout, decatur, indiana
As much as you guys like to make fun of him - almost ridicule him - Judge Seidlin sorted through some very intense personalities and their individually intense agendas. He brought them together as much as anyone could and hopefully, he has solved the problem in the best way possible. We will all find out - hopefully soon. He still has my vote. I don't think we're going to regret his decisions. My best wishes to Danielyn. Can't wait till you're old enough to read all about this. You will never believe it!
Dana, Chicago, US
I think her mother should just keep still. Anna wanted nothing to do with her. She was mean and cruel to Anna her whole life. Howard was just riding on her coattails. He;s looking for a sugar mama. I believe the photographer is the father of the baby. He's the only one who has tried to do anything not searching for money nor has he asked for any. He just wants his daughter. I hope it comes out in her favor. I also believe that Howard Stern had something to do with Daniel's death and with Nicole's. All I've ever heard about him is that he is a control freak. That's dangerous!
Francey, Tullahoma, TN
HERE COMES DA JUDGE, HERE COMES DA JUDGE.
remember Laugh In?
Larry was great, a real character.
We could use more judges like him.
Law doesn't have to be boring as long as the judge is abiding.
jane, larchmont,
How refreshing!!!
Debs, Laramie, Wyoming, USA
Juge Larry is a humane juge. and he fullfil the dream of Smith! Celebrity comeS celebrity goes with Miss Smith! Bigger than MORMA JEAN, but Another candle in the wind!!
Jimmy Huntington, appleton, usa
Why is this psychotic on the bench..???!
Gordon Wagner, San Diego, CA USA
He's an awful judge but entertaining. It was way too obvious what he was doing and I'm sure he'll get his dream...the Seidling Side Show.
B.A., Sun Prairie, Wisconsin
I think that your editorial captured the true character of Judge Seidling better than any of our local Fort Lauderdale papers. As a native Floridian it is an embarrassment that he was allowed to continue residing over the Smith case and that he is considered typical of our legal system in Broward county. This was a clear cut legal issue that Seidling alone turned into a three ring circus. The only tears I want to see are those he sheds during his apology to the people of Fort Lauderdale as we have, once again, become the butt of international ridicule.
Christine Ellison, Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
How refreshing!!!
Debs, Laramie, Wyoming, USA
liveshow
soemoeaung, monywa, myanmar
Or maybe CBS could just get rid of Dr. Phil
Elizabeth , Laguna Niguel, CA
He should have his own show, anything to keep him out of the courtroom and from vindicating the rest of the world's opinion of the US Justice system.
Michael, Dublin, Ireland
During Anna's life it seemed everyone had their own agenda. Maybe that is what comes from being a centerfold with a $480 million inheritance pending. In her death, that is even more apparent. It is sad to me that even Judge Seidlin had his own agenda. It seems to me that if Anna's mother would have care this much about her daughter while she was alive....they may have had a different relationship. Would all these men have stepped up claiming to be Dannielynn's father if there was not $480 million involved? Dannielynn may have gotten her mother's beauty, but she also inherited the same people with all their own agendas..........that is so sad.
cindy, Decatur, IL
Better than fiction; they'll never make a movie that can surpass this bizarre story. Who would've thought they'd find the perfect judge for a perfect ending (though this is only Part 1: Burial Brouhahah).
I can't wait for Part 2: the Custody Contenders.
Rena Wright, Asheville, N.C., USA
Good judge, I like you it is nice to see real people in real situations with real emotions.
Ruth Robertson Holmes, Truro Nova Scotia, Canada
Ridiculous . Great Circus Act. Should be laughed out of town.
WFC, Marion, Al.
Unfortunately, I haven't watched any of the Anna Nicole courtroom drama, not being interested. After learning about Judge Seidlin, I now wish I had watched some of it. He is strange, but strangely likeable too. Possibly the only likeable character in this whole, very sad story.
I hope Judge Seidlin does get his own show. Maybe CBS could get rid of either Rachel Ray, or Dr. Phil, and have Judge Seidlin follow Judge Judy.
Miriam, Aurora, Kane, IL
He's a judge! If he's emotional to the point of uncontrollable sobbing, I don't feel he's impartial. He may want what he feels is right, but what I listened to sounded like he was a close family member, not a member of a US court of law.
Whadda I know? Whatever.
Glackin, New Castle, PA
Only in America...
Sean Rundle, Auckland, New Zealand
The Judge was the clown and the hearing was a circus. He repeatedly stated how tight they were on time, yet he continued to waste time doing a audition for his possible TV show. I think he is a disgrace to the system.
cynthia, san diego, CA