When Silda Spitzer became a political wife she sought advice from Hillary Clinton.

She could never have imagined that she might one day face an agonising decision over whether to “stand by her man” in public — as Mrs Clinton had to.

A hard-driving corporate lawyer who met her husband at Harvard Law School, Mrs Spitzer sacrificed her career after marrying into one of New York's richest families.

Now, faced with public humiliation, she looked dazed as she appeared alongside her husband — for 67 seconds — as he issued a public apology about the scandal on Monday. Earlier in the day she was reportedly one of the few voices in his inner circle counselling him not to resign in haste.

Mrs Spitzer, born Silda Wall in the small town of Concord, North Carolina, still uses her maiden name for professional purposes. One of three siblings, she likes to tell friends that her name — a variation of the old German Serilda — means “Teutonic war goddess”.

Her father, Robert, made a comfortable living as a hospital administrator. When she applied for college her mother, Trilby, insisted that she list her mother's profession as “home administrator” rather than housewife.

The family spent summer holidays at the beach. Years later her father confessed that he hated the sea and sand.

“These are the things that you learn about your parents that you never knew when you were growing up,” Mrs Spitzer told Women's Wear Daily.

“We went back [to the beach] a few years ago and Dad said, 'I hate the beach. I've always hated the beach. I don't like the sand, and I love the mountains, because I like it to be cool and I get too hot at the beach'.”

A high school cheerleader, Mrs Spitzer graduated from the Baptist Meredith College and won admission to Harvard Law School. In her second year she married a fellow Harvard student named Peter Stamos — now a private equity tycoon — for 29 days.

She met Mr Spitzer, another student, on a skiing trip in Vermont with law school friends. “I am not a skier, so I don't know what I was doing on this trip. I just thought, 'Sure, I'll go out and ski',” she told Women's Wear Daily recently. “But he really taught me to ski.”

The couple married in 1987 at the Boat House in Central Park, New York, and had three daughters, Elyssa, now 17, Sarabeth, 15, and Jenna, 13.

Mrs Spitzer specialised in mergers and acquisitions at Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom, billing 3,300 hours one year, or 9.04 hours a day. She then joined Chase Manhattan Bank as an in-house counsel. In 1994 she put her career on hold for her husband to pursue his political ambitions. In 1996 she set up a charity called Children for Children to get young people involved in community service.

“Eliot and I both grew up with parents who worked together as a strong team,” Mrs Spitzer told The Times Union of Albany last year. “That's the only way I know how to go about it, to be as supportive as I can be for him. He, in turn, is as supportive as he can be with my interests and endeavours.”

When her husband became New York Governor he gave her an office in the Governor's wing of the state Capitol in Albany. He declared her a trusted aide. Rather than moving into the Governor's mansion, the couple live in a family apartment on Fifth Avenue with their two dogs, and at a 160-acre estate upstate.

Friends are now reportedly urging her to dump her cheating husband. Mrs Clinton refused to comment on the mess, but told reporters on the campaign trail: “I obviously send my best wishes to the Governor and his family.”

Times Recommends

• No cause for celebration in crushed Sarajevo
• Jazz funeral for the final victims of Katrina
• French fined for 'insulting' civil servants