REPUBLICAN conservatives, the dominant force among rank-and-file delegates, are enduring much this week in the name of party unity, biting their tongues as pro-abortion moderates including Arnold Schwarzenegger grab the spotlight to help President Bush to soften his polarising image.

But the right wing has drawn the line at Britney Spears.

When word leaked out that White House strategists wanted to give Ms Spears, the formerly virginal teenage pop sensation now desperately trying to misbehave her way into the rock’n’roll hall of shame, a starring role in New York, the flood of protest was biblical in scale.

Although a vocal supporter of Mr Bush and a woman with celebrity to match the Hollywood star power available to Democrats, the idea rapidly proved as welcome as having Jacques Chirac represent the Alabama delegation.

Citing Ms Spears’ “55-hour marriage, her lesbian kiss with Madonna and all-round white trashiness”, an array of conservative groups emailed the convention organisers to give warning that her presence in New York would be a moderating step too far.

The Illinois Family Institute wrote: “Through her immature antics, Spears has probably done more to undermine sexual morality than all the misguided legislation introduced in the United States over the last decade. It would be the height of hypocrisy for a party that claims to represent wholesome values to celebrate her.”

Response to the email has been “overwhelmingly positive”, the group’s executive director, Peter LaBarbera, said.

“A few people have argued that the Democrats have all the Hollywood celebrities so we need her star power,“ he said. “But many Americans are sick of celebrities’ political views being shoved down their throat.”

ONE clear difference between last month’s Democrat convention in Boston and this week’s jamboree will centre on one of the most crucial issues facing any convention strategist: the closing night balloon drop.

One of the only truly unscripted and hilarious moments of the Democrat convention was the anti-climactic trickle of balloons that drifted wanly on to John Kerry after he finished his acceptance speech.

While many were left marooned in their net cages, Don Mischer, the organiser in Boston, could be overheard live on television screaming profanities.

Determined that the same fate will not befall Mr Bush and Vice-President Cheney, organisers this week have hired the high priest of balloon drops, Treb Heining, to ensure that the Republican ticket will leave Madison Square Garden in a spectacular blizzard of red, white and blue. Mr Heining has masterminded balloon displays for the Olympic Games, the Super Bowl and the New Year’s Eve celebration in Times Square.

Getting 120,000 balloons to fall on cue is not easy, but Mr Heining, a Republican, believes failure to deliver could sway undecided voters.

“If you can’t get a balloon drop to work, how do you expect to run the country?”, he said.

AS he is surrounded by the roars of the crowd and (hopefully) thousands of balloons on Thursday night, Mr Bush will also have just delivered his acceptance speech from a ground-breaking convention platform: a circular stage, similar to a baseball pitching mound, right in the middle of the delegates themselves. For the first three days, speakers will address delegates from a traditional stage. But Mr Bush will speak from a 20 ft diameter, round stage in the middle of the convention floor, almost within touching distance of delegates.

Mark McKinnon, Mr Bush’s media adviser, said: “He is not just trapped by a stage. He doesn’t have the usual comforts of a stage behind him. To me that says strength, that he is willing to stand out there alone”.

Mr Bush, however, is unlikely to have to deal with hecklers.

REPUBLICANS just cannot shake off Michael Moore, the liberal filmaker and director of Fahrenheit 9/11, the unabashedly one-sided condemnation of the Bush presidency. The sworn enemy of the White House will be stalking Madison Square Garden all week after being hired by USA Today to write four opinion columns.

Incensed that he will be gatecrashing their party, some delegates have reacted with what can only be described as Old Testament vigour. Terry Butts, a delegate from Alabama, said that from where he comes from “there are probably a few good ol’ boys who would know how to put a good knot on his head”.

AND finally . . . If Tony Blair is sick of being called “Bush’s poodle”, good news: one anti-war website has Bush playing Winnie the Pooh, to Blair’s Christopher Robin.

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