DWIGHT YORKE has been in Sydney a fortnight. He has had a few late nights, but with nothing to get their teeth stuck into, impatient gossip columnists have given up the wait to see which women he is seen with to throwing up suggestions of who he might be seen with. He has been called a show pony and a party boy and he has not even played a game. As Andy Harper, the chief executive who signed him for Sydney FC, told Magic Sponge: “We can’t prepare him any better for the media onslaught than 14 years of the British tabloids.”

Yorke will be transformed today from glamour boy to the stand-out superstar and future hope of Australian football when he makes his Sydney debut in a pre-season friendly against New Zealand Knights. This column hopes that Sydney have not shelled out on the wrong man here, for there is little capacity for underestimating the expectations that have been invested in a player whose warrior spirit and never-say-die attitude only bear mention in comparison with — well, their own Harry Kewell.

Australian football is apparently on the march. The new Hyundai-sponsored A-league is to kick off shortly, each team are allowed one marquee player on an income outside of the salary cap and when scanning the horizon for star quality, you leave Yorke and find yourself at Perth Glory, who have signed Brian Deane, the former Leeds United and Sunderland forward.

Which is why so much is hoped for from Yorke. “There is a deep history of football in this country,” Harper said, “but it’s been a largely clandestine operation. The intention is for the new league to awaken the sleeping giant. The point of bringing in Yorke is to galvanise that history and make people aware of the sport.”

Harper insists that Yorke is causing a stir. “We haven’t actually rolled him out to any gala events yet,” he said, “but people have been bashing the door down to get to him anyway. All the great athletes of all Australian sports are looking forward to seeing him play.”

Never before did Australia seem such a small place. Magic Sponge sincerely hopes that all those great athletes will not be disappointed, but these were Yorke’s thoughts before this eagerly awaited debut: “I think I can do a good half — probably 60, 65-70 minutes.”

Olonga getting used to a life of easel

NOT HAPPY with being an international cricketer, a Zimbabwe freedom fighter and, recently, a part-time professional musician, the outrageously talented Henry Olonga is considering making a living as a painter.

He previously painted seven years ago, but he recently met Jocelyn Galsworthy — famous for her cricket paintings — who gave him an easel and inspiration.

Olonga has donated a portrait of Richie Benaud to MCC and he now plans to take on Mark Nicholas (one hair out of place on that canvas and an old friendship is ruined).

Olonga has Sir Garry Sobers, Courtney Walsh and Sir Viv Richards on his list. He hopes to have an exhibition next year of his work at which he will no doubt also provide the cabaret, pass round the canapés and bring down the Labour Government all on the opening night.

Myskina told to bare decision

RUSSIAN tennis stars’ breasts are available for public viewing whether the players like it or not. That is the message from an American judge, who has ruled that Anastasia Myskina has no right to prevent publication of topless pictures of her posing on a horse.

Why she should have been naked on a horse is one issue. Why she looks so bored is another.

Either way, she has less cause for complaint than Anna Kournikova, whose breasts once seemed to have appeared in Penthouse before the magazine acknowledged a misidentification and confessed that the breasts did not actually belong to her at all.

A good week for:

1. Mike Tyson, who won over neighbours’ complaints and received planning permission for his £7,000, 100 sq ft, air-conditioned pigeon coop at his home in Phoenix, Arizona.

2. Weddings. Lennox Lewis got hitched last weekend in Jamaica, with Hurricane Emily threatening. Lleyton Hewitt married in midweek with guests concerned that his two left feet might stay too long on the dance floor. And Javed Miandad’s son, Junaid, will be married today to the daughter of one of India’s most wanted men, accused of financing Islamic militants. The Miandad wedding is not such a hot ticket.

A bad week for:

1. Cauliflower ears, whose futures are threatened now that two Scottish doctors have pioneered a silicone treatment for them. Fat-eared old boys should not gather false hope, though; this is preventative and will not help those already afflicted.

2. Flip-flops. When the Northwestern lacrosse team — US national champions — were invited to the White House, four of the women were photographed with George Bush wearing flip-flops. Outrage ensued, including front-page disbelief in the Chicago Tribune and celebrity appearances on NBC. The footwear is being auctioned for charity..