Slowly but surely, Mark Philippoussis, the former tennis star from Australia, closes in on the grand-slam that so painfully eluded him as a player. Will it be Amanda, a 25-year-old pompom shaker from Nashville, or will the man we knew as “Scud” plump for 48-year-old Jen as his perfect doubles partner?

Welcome to Age of Love, shown on American television over the summer but now receiving UK exposure, on E4. Think Mr Right, in which a team of romance and publicity-hungry women competed for the heart of an eligible bachelor. Except, in that case, the bachelor in question copped off with Ulrika Jonsson, the presenter.

No chance of that here. The authorities had to act after that embarrassment, which threatened to bring the entire reality love-quest genre into contempt, and Age of Love, one notes, is carefully presented by a man, in whom Scud has shown no interest so far.

“I’m here for me,” Scud said, movingly. “I would love to see if I could find someone.” You can see his problem. Here’s a tanned, 6ft 5in former tennis pro with millions in the bank. How else is a bloke such as that going to find a girlfriend if not in a 12-week, vote-off reality television show?

It was the same for Lee Sharpe on Celebrity Love Island. Love doesn’t always come easily for handsome, retired sports stars in their 30s. Sometimes being filmed in pursuit of the woman of your dreams and trousering a fee at the same time is the only way to break free from the loneliness.

The girls competing for the hand, or other parts, of Scud are doubtless hugely drawn to the former world No 8’s 11 career titles, although the topic of tennis hardly ever comes up, most of the contestants preferring to spend air-time on accolades such as “he has a huge heart”, “he is so sensitive” and (my favourite), “he is super-present”. All these weeks in, though, some of the women are beginning to get the impression that Scud says the same things to all of them. That’s not something to lay at the 1998 US Open finalist’s door, though. They should talk to the scriptwriters about it. One is aware that reality television wouldn’t be what it is without vast degrees of fabrication, but here is a show that is so contrived that we get a new kind of warning from the continuity announcer: “Some scenes in Age of Love have been created for entertainment purposes.”

You’re kidding me. So, when Scud loads five women into a waiting coach and sets off into the California hills for a night of camping and fireside fun, it’s not a routine dating tactic for the big-serving Aussie, coincidentally caught on camera? First the Ant and Dec phoneline scandal, now this. It’s impossible to know who to trust any more.

Still, as Scud whispered into a receptive ear the other night (before sending her home, if memory serves): “What’s so great about you is, you are who you are - and that’s what so great about you.” Good, basic, back-of-the-court work there from Scud. But he’s going to need to come into the net and get more specific before the show is much older.

Still on the subject of looking for love, how are they getting on at Setanta Sports News? UK television’s latest, super-present, 24-hour ankle-injury update service has had some awkward first dates, its variously nervous newscasters filling the time to ad breaks by the age-old method of talking. Increasingly. Slowly.

In a daring departure from the Sky Sports News prototype - which Setanta otherwise follows as faithfully as if it was a knitting pattern and it was trying to get a pair of mittens out before Christmas – not one but two ticker-tapes of newsprint run across the foot of the screen, at different speeds.

Yesterday, as ever, a small cluster of stories was on heavy rotation and the channel was focusing on a fight in the NHL match between the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Philadelphia Flyers. A scrap at the ice hockey? You could have knocked me down with a feather – or, in this case, a hockey stick and a helmet.

Also yesterday, Chelsea’s Champions League match against Valencia was under pictureless review and a newscaster was saying: “The result didn’t matter to the West London club, but let’s just take a wee look at the score.” A wee look at the score! It’s not slick, but I suppose it’s homely. Nothing on there as yet about Scud’s feelings for Amanda, but give it time.