The Laureus World Sports Awards are traditionally referred to as “the Oscars of sport”, which always sounds ritzy until you remember that co-opting the glamour of Hollywood's annual prize-giving is standard practice right across the awards-giving industry and that even the 2008 International Window Cleaning Association Awards are probably known as “the Oscars of window cleaning” among the bucket and sponge fraternity.

Interestingly, no one ever refers to the Laureus World Sports Awards as “the Brit Awards of sport”. What would it take? A few years of chaotic hosting, probably, plus the involvement of at least three members of the Osbourne family and one prank involving water and a member of the British Government.

In the meantime, “Oscars of sport” it is. For his achievement in coming second in last year's World Championship, Lewis Hamilton was up for Best Supporting Formula One Driver. Fabio Capello (glimpsed laughing here, though about what we weren't told) seemed likely to triumph in the Best Film In A Foreign Language category. And Andy Murray looked a shoo-in to walk away with Best Animation, certainly since his hair went crazy. Nothing for Steve McClaren's umbrella, sadly, not even in the technical categories. Overlooked again.

There was certainly no reluctance to film the ceremony as if it were the Academy Awards - albeit transported to St Petersburg and with tennis players and pole vaulters playing the part of film stars. All the crucial details were in place - the limos, the red carpet, the blizzards of flashbulbs, the theatrical glad-handing of lucky bystanders. Here was unequivocal evidence, all in all, of what we might call the Jamie Redknapping of sport - lots of people with pretty faces wandering around in £20,000 trousers, and not a ball in sight. Put briefly, it simply doesn't get any more Eurotrash than this and so pungent were the images broadcast by British Eurosport that cologne rose in a fine mist from my television screen and formed a fragrant cloud under the ceiling.

And as for the hosting, well, it's not often that Steve Rider gets to share a stage and an autocue with Cuba Gooding Jr. What a duo. On the one side, the star of such classic movies as Norbit and Daddy Day Camp. On the other, ITV's eerily smiling Champions League links man. As Rider gave the St Petersburg auditorium his eeriest smile, Gooding made sure to thank “President Poot'n” for his hospitality. He also asked Justine Henin, winner of the Sportswoman of the Year Award, “Are you pleased to get your hands on one of these puppies?” President Poot'n, one noted, was benefiting from simultaneous translation through a pair of headphones. I wonder what the Russian is for “one of these puppies”.

Then up stepped Ilie Nastase to announce, “And the winner is opens envelope.” Ah, those old autocue gags. “He never loses it,” Rider said.

Hamilton received his award (Breakthrough of the Year, as it turned out) from Kim Cattrall, the American actress. Her connection with sport? Well, she did play the uninhibited one in Sex and the City and that's got to count for something, hasn't it? I mean, at least it's exercise.

Obviously one doesn't want to poop anyone's party - but nevertheless one can't help but ask, is any of this really necessary? No matter how you dress them, or which designer you employ for the purpose, the Laureus Awards are, like the BBC's Sports Personality of the Year award, an act of virtually heroic superfluity. Sport is, after all, its own honours system and dishing out medals to people who win medals for a living is over-egging an already extremely eggy egg pudding.

The stars love it, though. When Roger Federer collected his Sportsman of the Year trophy, Rider instructed him to “try and explain why it is so important to sportsmen at your level”. What one wanted to hear Federer say was, “Actually, Steve, you try and explain.” But he is much too diplomatic for that and instead he joked gently about his continuing battle for Laureus-related supremacy with Tiger Woods. (It's 4-2 to Federer at the moment.)

You sense this ultimately redundant ceremony's grip on the competitive imagination growing. Thus far no sportsperson has been heard to say, in neutral circumstances, “I'm going all out for a Laureus this year.” But give it time.

Woods appeared only in the form of his computer-generated Xbox image, a neat way of getting around the broadcasting rights issues - one we have never seen before but one we certainly hope to see a lot more of in the future.

Oh, and by the way, you are too late to vote for the 2008 IWCA Window Cleaner of the Year. The window closed, as it were, in January (see www.iwca.org). But it's not too early to start thinking about your nomination for 2009.