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From The Times
March 26, 2005

At a total loss over Chelsea

By Giles Smith
IF Uefa expels Chelsea from the European Cup (an option available for next week’s hearing into matters arising from the Barcelona match in the previous round), I shall be seeking advice from my lawyers. I have booked a non-refundable flight to Munich for the advertised quarter-final between Chelsea and Bayern Munich, a match of little interest to me tourism-wise should Barcelona replace Chelsea at Uefa’s behest. I shall be looking, then, to recover the cost of that flight, obviously.

Also, being required to secure time off for the scheduled trip, I shall be claiming loss of earnings, as well as, inevitably, emotional distress caused by the club’s eviction and the ribbing in connection with that eviction that I shall doubtless receive from so-called friends. All in all, a settlement in the region of £14 million should just about cover it.

I hope that other Chelsea fans in the same predicament will follow me in this. Between us we could induce the biggest consumer-led legal disaster since Hoover’s free flights offer and, with any luck, polish off Uefa along the way.

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