Cristal and caviar at QPR

As Bernie Ecclestone surveys his domain today, he can be content that his business model is working at full power, no matter how many times it has almost been derailed by events away from the Formula One track. Ecclestone pioneered the concept of corporate hospitality with his Formula One Paddock Club, which attracts well-heeled patrons prepared to pay as much as £1,000 a head.

That idea could be translated to football and Queens Park Rangers, the club he co-owns with Flavio Briatore, the Renault Formula One team principal. If the Coca-Cola Championship club are to spin money like the top sides and push for promotion to the Barclays Premier League, the problem of Loftus Road, QPR's cramped home on and off for about 90 years, will have to be solved. Ecclestone has not identified a potential alternative ground and a capacity of fewer than 20,000 is too small for the top flight.

But Ecclestone and Briatore plan to drive the QPR audience upmarket with more and better corporate seats. There are rumours that the price of hospitality boxes will soar, but Ecclestone is anxious to get the product right first. “We are not going to drive out the existing fans, but we need to generate more income,” he said. “We did it in Formula One and we can do it in football.”

The QPR directors' box is already a repository for famous visitors such as Naomi Campbell, the supermodel. With Ecclestone (worth £2.5billion) bringing in Lakshmi Mittal (worth £14.5billion) as an investor, the pies and Oxo could soon be replaced by champagne and caviar.

£6 million offer just Chiles play

Adrian Chiles has, it seems, turned down a reputed £6million offer to leave the BBC for ITV, which leaves the latter desperately seeking a new face with which to launch next season's football package, including the Champions League and FA Cup.

Chiles's heart remains with the BBC - and West Bromwich Albion, the club he supports. So much so that he clubbed together with Frank Skinner, the comedian, to buy Tony Mowbray a chocolate football. The West Brom manager turned up at his press conference with it yesterday, explaining that he gave up chocolate for Lent - and then proceeded to gobble the lot in front of the slavering hacks.

Gretna going down pan

At Gretna, the disintegrating Clydesdale Bank Premier League club, there is barely enough cash for a Kit Kat for the entire staff. The Inland Revenue is waiting for settlement of a £439,762 debt. But we hear lots of small creditors are in the queue for payment, such as the local dry cleaner, which is owed £227, and the podiatrist, a further £20, while there is Borderloos, which needs a cheque for £1,175, for providing portable toilets. Yes, folks, Gretna really do not have a pot to ... You know the rest.

Button a real trier

Jenson Button is in the wrong sport. He cannot win in Formula One but he finished a creditable sixteenth out of 250 competitors in last weekend's Sevenoaks Sprint Triathlon in Kent. Perhaps Formula One could introduce a swimming and cycling segment to the Spanish Grand Prix this weekend ...