The word is that noses have been put out of joint at the FA with the news that Lord Coe, the chairman of the London 2012 Olympic organising committee, has approached Sir Alex Ferguson to manage the Great Britain football team at the Games. The FA is upset that it was not consulted. On what, exactly? If Coe has jumped the gun, could it be that having taken a look at the candidates produced by the FA over the past decade, he has decided he had better do the job himself?

Presuming Coe requires a manager with recent international experience or a sustained record of success, the contribution of the FA to the shortlist is noted messiah Kevin Keegan, umbrella enthusiast Steve McClaren and two foreign blokes. The FA rated the present crop of home-grown coaches so highly that it gave an Italian £6 million a year to manage the England team and bring his entire staff. In the circumstances, what cause is there for complaint? Who out there is better, or better qualified, than Ferguson?

Maybe the FA had earmarked the role for one of the future generation, such as Stuart Pearce, but such arrogance would be misplaced. If this is to be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, it requires a suitably distinguished figurehead, not a novice on a glorified YOP scheme under Fabio Capello.

The parochial temptation is to regard Team GB as an English escapade, but Coe’s task is to forge a genuinely British under23 team. Ferguson’s presence guarantees Scottish representation, too, even if the Scottish FA is wary of becoming involved.

Yes, the matches will be played at Wembley and present trends suggest that the bulk of the starting lineup will be English, yet any review of the leading British managers of the previous ten years yields no Englishmen in a shortlist of one. Lord Coe did not have to select Ferguson. Lord Snooty (or even Professor Screwtop) could have looked at the record books and reached the same conclusion.

Ferguson is the greatest British coach of the modern age, arguably of all time. Who else is a serious contender? The last Englishman to win the league is Howard Wilkinson with Leeds United in 1992; the only other British manager to take the title in Ferguson’s era was Kenny Dalglish, who has long since retired. The rest have been foreigners.

This makes Ferguson the outstanding candidate, indeed the only candidate, to lead Britain in 2012. If Coe was not polite enough to ask the FA, this may have been because he probably spends enough time in pointless meetings as it is.

Red-and-white Army?

Around the pitch at Middlesbrough on Wednesday, an advertisement for the Yorkshire Regiment read: “Like football? You’ll like the Army.” Stands to reason, doesn’t it? If you like going to the pub with your mates and then walking to the ground to cheer your local team, you will like being transported to a sweltering foxhole in an inhospitable region of Afghanistan, getting shot at by insurgents.

Maybe they meant that if you like watching Middlesbrough versus Sheffield United, three months in Helmand will not seem so daunting. The television recruiting drive for the Royal Navy is no easier to understand. Life without limits, the slogan says. The bloke they interview lives on a submarine.

Chimbonda’s long walk

Pascal Chimbonda blew it. He celebrated as if he was a team player but his sulky walk to the touchline as Tottenham Hotspur looked for a way back against Chelsea in the Carling Cup final said it all. He will be sold in the summer and his next club will not be going places as quickly as his present employers under Juande Ramos. It is his loss and his fault.

Capello’s shining gem One can find a diamond in the dust and Fabio Capello, the England manager, thinks that he may have unearthed one wearing black and white stripes during Newcastle United’s dismal 5-1 home defeat by Manchester United. After a record 36 appearances for the England Under21 team, James Milner may be asked to step up to the full squad against France this month.

Painting over cracks

“I want to take 30,000 Milton Keynes people to Wembley to show we can achieve big support,” Pete Winkelman said as MK Dons, his little Frankenclub built from the spare parts of Wimbledon, got to the final of the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy. Yes, 30,000 glory-hunters, most of whom will never have watched an MK Dons match. Won’t that be a joy to behold?

Gascoigne’s choice

With Paul Gascoigne sectioned under the Mental Health Act, Jenny Wilkins, an ex-girlfriend, wasted no time cashing her chips with a lurid newspaper account of their relationship. He could always pick them.

Roman inquisition

It would be far easier for Avram Grant to do his impression of a successful manager if Roman Abramovich did not insist on hanging around Chelsea’s training ground, like an old-fashioned time-and-motion man who has received reports of Spanish practice on the factory floor.

Fifa’s funny old game

Daniel Cousin’s transfer from Rangers to Fulham was barred by Fifa as he has also played for Lens and no one can appear for three clubs in a year. The same rule applied to Javier Mascherano when he wished to join Liverpool from West Ham. Except it did not. Funny that.

Fans counting the cost

The Champions League finalists will receive 42,000 seats in Moscow’s 70,000-capacity Luzhniki Stadium, despite Uefa insisting that 75 per cent of tickets will go to fans. This does not add up. The finalists’ share of tickets amounts to 60 per cent. Even if a further 15 per cent are sold locally and through Uefa, it leaves 17,500 seats dished out to Michel Platini’s famous football family. They breed like rabbits that lot.

Thaksin trio in limbo

Suree Sukha, Kiatprawut Saiwaew and Teerasil Dangeda, the Thai footballers, are now in limbo in Switzerland after the visas supplied on their move from Manchester City to Grasshopper Zurich turned out to be for tourists. In England, they could not obtain work permits to remain as professional footballersand complained of not being paid.

Still, it is now every Thai boy’s dream to earn a career in the Premier League with Manchester City and Thaksin Shinawatra, the City owner and deposed Thai Prime Minister, has gone from public enemy No 1 in his country to national hero, so at least someone is happy.

Mort the persuader

And there you have it. According to Chris Mort, the Newcastle United chairman, the club are not for sale and Chris Hughton, a new coach, was appointed by Kevin Keegan, the manager, who was also 100 per cent behind the arrival of Dennis Wise as executive director (football).

“Kevin has got the players playing very well,” Mort said. Nice try on that last one, Chris, but we have seen the performances.