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Clubs shouldn’t knock themselves out to sign King

The jailed striker may be ready to accept his punishment but football should turn its back on him for good, says Rod Liddle

Vote Barnes as candidate for the Emirates

If Arsène Wenger quits, the ex-Tranmere dream team can take over – unless Wigan’s Spaniard is chosen instead

Liddle: Ferguson fails anger management test

The Manchester United manager’s despicable bully-boy tactics should finally be stamped on by the FA, says Rod Liddle

Mere mortals aren’t big enough for Newcastle

It seems scarcely possible that the club could be the source of even more humour after they gave so selflessly last year

Nothing’s black and white in Diouf’s mad world

Accusing the Blackburn dribbler of racism is a missed opportunity: there are many more objectionable things about him

Poor old Maradona – no brains, no cash and no earrings

The Hand of God is making a poor fist of qualifying for South Africa, and isn’t it lots of fun watching him flounder?

Over the moon at great underachievers

It is not enough to merely succeed; it is more important to enjoy the prospect of others failing, says Rod Liddle

Tartan terrors thrive with bully-boy tactics

It was a return to the days of graft and guts over subtlety against Macedonia, but that made Scotland’s win all the better

Fall guys must pay the price

If the authorities accept that Eduardo cheated, shouldn’t Celtic have the right to demand the game be played again?

The pathetic sight of fools’ gold

As usual, we will in turn be repulsed and astonished by the money sloshing around in the Premier League this season

Rainy nights in Blackpool will sort men from the boys

Teams that concede six goals to Leyton Orient should live with the fact that promotion is a non-starter

My £400 takeover answers Newcastle's problems

You would need a heart of stone not to laugh at the present plight of Newcastle United — and just wait for the new strip

Name, set and match: why annual adventure ends in tears

Our top players do well to compete against the rest of the world when drawn from a shallow pool of middle-class talent

I’m sorry, but who’d want to sign for Chelsea?

Roman Abramovich’s billions and the best managers money can buy still can’t lure the galacticos to Stamford Bridge

Adios amigo: Ronaldo was brilliant but a cheat

For all Ronaldo’s sublime skill, he was disliked for his un-Britishness, his lack of dignity, his pout and his cheating

Perez certain that sums add up for Madrid

Spaniards insist their big spending is like having money in the bank, and that Cristiano Ronaldo will pay for himself