Here’s a chance for you to win a job as a BBC sports producer and get to meet interesting people such as Mark Lawrenson. All you have to do is look at the list of 16 fixtures for the next round of the FA Cup and decide which one would be the most dramatic and exciting to televise live. You’re looking for a tie with romance and passion, where the gloriously unexpected might occur, a match that will leave us perched on the edge of the sofa for 90 minutes.

There are a few to choose from. The obvious among you might go for Liverpool versus Havant and Waterlooville - and certainly, I’d watch that. But there are 75 league places or so between Mansfield and fragile, unpredictable Middlesbrough - and more chance of an upset, I reckon. For those with a sense of history, how about the maritime derby of Portsmouth v Plymouth? Or for the left-field choice, but one that will guarantee a goal every 22 seconds, Peterborough versus West Brom?

You’ve all failed the test. The BBC has decided to go with the most boring tie of the round, Wigan versus Chelsea. A fixture you have already seen countless times between two teams (and two sets of fans) who don’t even want to be in the FA Cup. So, Wigan reserves and Chelsea reserves, played in front of 19 northern people whose televisions are on the blink, Chelsea reserves winning 1-0 and Wigan allowed to concentrate on fighting to prevent a return to the depths from which they, unbidden, sprang.

Maybe you guessed right, though, by taking history into account. Of the various enticing replays in the last round (brave Havant versus Swansea, then managerless and anguished Newcastle versus Stoke) the BBC again chose the most boring of all: Manchester City versus West Ham - two teams and sets of supporters suffused with inexorable ennui. “Do we have to play this bloody game?” you could see the players thinking.” “Do we have to watch it?” thought the fans. Not that Sky chose much better - they too seemed more concerned with demographics and in the next round have gone for Sheffield United versus Manchester City. Better, but not much better.

Meanwhile, the pundits on the box will bemoan the fact that the FA Cup seems to be of declining importance to the Premier League teams, given that Chelsea are playing a 15-year-old dwarf in goal and Dave Whelan himself is turning out for Wigan. Well, gentlemen (and Shearer), in which case, don’t pick the games involving teams that couldn’t give a monkey’s, pick the games where the players and the supporters are transfixed with passion. The glory of the FA Cup, its attraction, is not the chance to see all-Premier League “glamour” ties, in any case: it’s a chance to see a humbling of the mighty, or a cruel crushing of an underdog. A chance to see teams you may have forgotten even existed and may never see again.

Look, I have nothing against Wigan or Chelsea (well, actually, I do. I loathe them both, equally. But for the sake of argument, let’s pretend I don’t). I just think that the schedulers - now, how can I put it - lack a little imagination and, indeed, may be missing the point. In fairness, there are a couple of caveats to my criticism of the BBC. They didn’t bank on Havant getting past Swansea, didn’t know Keegan would be back at the Toon, and the corporation is sometimes bedevilled by police restrictions on what ties can be played at 5pm. (Fans’ objections to ties being played then don’t matter a damn, of course). But I’d argue that troubled Liverpool versus a resurgent Swansea would have been worth watching. Actually, I’d argue that watching Alistair Darling sorting out his sock drawer for 90 minutes would be more interesting than watching Wigan versus Chelsea.

It is true, mind, that the disaffection with the FA Cup is a virus spreading rapidly below the gilded elite of the Premier League. Within the top division, even the mid-table teams seem disinclined to take the competition seriously, preferring to concentrate on trousering another few million quid for finishing one place higher than otherwise might have been the case, or entertaining vague hopes of a top-seven finish. But even in the Championship, key players were “rested” for the FA Cup and the attendances were well below what one might have expected. And the lack of interest dripped down still further - only 4,500 turned up to watch my team, Millwall, play Walsall, and Walsall, the form team of League One, didn’t turn up until about the 60th minute, their eyes presumably focused on a playoff spot. “Why are we here?” their players seemed to ask for most of the game. Well, you’re not any more and have, as a consequence, lost the chance of a lucrative derby against Coventry City.

My view is, I suppose, typically old-fashioned; I remember being transfixed as a kid by the FA Cup, particularly those wonderful moments of upset and trauma: Colchester-Leeds, Hereford-Newcastle, Sunderland-Leeds - even Wimbledon-Liverpool. And the FA Cup final was the most important fixture of the year, one we looked forward to for weeks on end, affixing our affections always to the underdog, unless the underdog was West Ham, of course. The game, though, has changed. And the TV people think we all want Wigan-Chelsea in perpetuity; money versus money.

Rod Liddle’s fourth-round forecast

Oldham v Huddersfield
Lee Hughes barracked by away fans. Lee Hughes scores. Oldham through

Peterborough v WBA
Now THIS should be on BBC; lots of goals, Baggies through

Portsmouth v Plymouth
Portsmouth home win at last

Southampton v Bury
A season of mediocrity continues. Saints win 1-0

Swindon/Barnet v Fulham/Bristol Rovers
God knows. Fulham, you would guess

Watford v Wolves
Wolves stung by Hornets. On

Southend v Barnsley
Barnsley, after an endlessly fascinating replay

Arsenal v Newcastle
Ah, it wasn’t the messiah after all. Arsenal by a brace

Coventry v Millwall
Sky Blues humbled by Lions. Just like watching Brazil

Derby/Sheff W v Preston
Wednesday after a spiteful game. Lots of fighting

Liverpool v Havant
Black armbands at Anfield as Havant dream dies 5-0

Mansfield v M’bro
Boro, just. Southgate’s face grows longer by the second the arse. Three times

Wigan v Chelsea
Who cares? I’d rather watch a rerun of the weather forecast. Chelsea, I suppose

Hereford v Cardiff
Closest we’ll come to a major shock in a game between two teams whose supporters are too keen on sheep for my liking. Hereford, just

Man Utd v Tottenham
Ronaldo cheats to win a penalty. Tevez adds a second

Sheff Utd v Man City
Why does anyone think Bryan Robson is a good boss? He might win, but draw is likely