Rod Liddle
Star musicians and your favourite Times writers at the Albert Hall
IT WAS an enormous pleasure to see Frank Lampard sent off in Chelsea’s game against West Ham yesterday. That’s because I don’t like him. I don’t like his perpetually put-upon expression, nor his apparent conviction that he is a sort of magical amalgam of Garrincha, Bobby Charlton and Franz Beckenbauer, when actually he’s Jimmy Bullard with an only slightly better haircut.
I hate it when he looks aggrieved during England games at Wembley, just after a shot of his ends up somewhere near Southall, as if fate had cruelly intervened to deflect a brilliant goalbound effort towards the North Circular and none of it is his fault at all or the consequence of him being not very good.
I hate those postmatch conferences where he explains how well he has played when England have been beaten at home by the Maldives. So seeing him sent off is always an enormous pleasure, especially - and this is the point - when the decision is utterly unjustified, as it was against West Ham. Then, the pleasure is enhanced because Lampard is forced to find an even greater depth of grief in his facial expression, because he has been genuinely hard done by.
Chronic and preferably cruel injustice is a much underestimated attraction in football. It's one of the reasons I never want cameras on the goalline; goals are fun and exciting, of course, but they are not so much fun as the cretin of a referee, acting under FA orders, who makes a monumentally absurd decision.
Injustice is one of the few things left in the English game that makes it worth forking out £50 for - or in my team’s case, £20 - to watch for 90 minutes. At the precise time Frank Lampard was erroneously sent off, my own team, Millwall, were having a perfectly good goal disallowed by a jackass of a referee who has become a serial offender. Never mind; this is the hand of fate, and footballers need to be reminded from time to time that the hand of fate will occasionally intervene and spoil their day. They think that they are all-conquering, the players, and it’s nice to bring them down to earth occasionally.
However, all this being said, there is a certain kind of pirouetting, flouncy and camp Premier League referee in the game right now who wishes nothing more than to send someone off and to enjoy his moment in the sun for having done so, like an understudy in the musical Cabaret suddenly allowed into the limelight.
The Lampard business was truly mystifying; he tangled, briefly, and without great effect, with Luis Boa Morte (no angel, mark you) - both of them on the ground - and then had the temerity to push the bloke away, having received a bit of a kick. At which point the red card was airily wafted in his general direction. Now, cackle though I did, I could see that it was a consummately unjust sending-off. In a way, this made me laugh all the more.
But for all this sniggering, there is a certain pattern beginning to emerge, which you might hope the FA or the Premier League would get a grip of. This week Frank Lampard, a week or so back, Middlesbrough’s Jeremie Aliadiere - both sent off for offences that may, I suppose, transgress the letter of the law but which in earlier times would have warranted nothing more than a sharp word from the referee.
Aliadiere, having appealed against his monstrously unjust red card, will now serve a longer ban than that which will apply to Birmingham City’s Martin Taylor, who effected a hasty, ad hoc amputation upon Arsenal’s Eduardo last Saturday at St Andrews, much to Arsène Wenger’s chagrin. Middlesbrough’s appeal rebounded upon them, because that’s the way the Football Association works. It doesn’t like appeals. But once again you might be tempted to suspect that the FA does not know what it is doing.
I think I speak for quite a few fans when I venture that the FA has got its priorities wrong. I would like to see players sent off for cheating - in the case of Manchester United’s Cristiano Ronaldo, at some point within the third minute of every match - and for tackles that are either clearly malicious or criminally negligent. Or indeed for players who have been hacking out at the opposing winger from the moment the referee blew his whistle at the start of the game. By and large, though, a bit of shoving here or there should not warrant even so much as a booking.
Much as it grieves me to say so about such a player, but Lampard was entirely justified in his modest admonition towards West Ham’s Boa Morte.
The FA, I suppose, will say that he raised a hand and therefore deserves all that he got. But this is taking a literal interpretation of the rules altogether too far. Lampard deserved to stay on the pitch yesterday: so did Aliadiere for Middlesbrough.
Less central control and instead the deployment of that long-forgotten thing, common sense, would be of benefit to the Premier League. Even if it does mean that Lampard escapes a ban and is allowed back to look aggrieved the next time Chelsea take to the field.

Rod Liddle is the most controversial commentator on sport in the British media. Previously the editor of BBC Radio 4’s Today programme and now a columnist with The Spectator, he brings an often outrageous and always provocative fan's view to The Sunday Times every week
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I cannot feel the "NFL approach" is a good one as, even with multiple camera angles, decisions on the field are still not correclty reversed or let stand. It seems the human element in the review booth often still sides with the home or favoured team. Similarly, the game is much more "staccato" due to each play ending with either the ball being out of play or the referre's whistle.
I enjoyed Rod Liddle's article, and thought he made some excellent points about what the FA and it's referee's shouldbe concentrating on.
I think it s a disgrace that Lampard's red card was overturned, because the linesman thought he saw something, but didn't actually see it. Lampard WAS guilty of foul play, going in showing his studs and then pushing Boa Morte down when they both got up. May be three games WAS harsh, but I feel he should have been given at least one game.
Again, one rule for the big four and one for everyone else and I'll use the Aliadiere incident as rebuttal.
Ian, Los Angeles, CA
Two Chelsea fans among the respondents. One from Nuneaton, the other from Frome. All hail the new Manchester United......................
rod liddle, sarf lunnun, UK
Lampard's red card has just been overruled. Yet more uneven treatment by the Premier League. One rule for the 'Big Four' (ie. Mascherano, Lampard, Gallas) one rule for the rest.
George, Leeds,
The point is is not whether you like or dislike Frank Lampard,
but is if his sending off was fair or not? Looking at this
case without prejudice, these instances happen far too
often in the Premiership and are often very costly to
the club on the recieving end.
I, for one, would prefer the officials to use T.V. footage to
decide decisions during the game, decisions they view to
be less than clear cut. In America, the NFL have been using
this method for years, and it works.
Ofcourse, the game can be broken up by doing this as sometimes difficult decisions take time.
However, if it is your team that loses a trophy due to a referee
mistake under this current system, which method is better?Football games have become too big for just a few men to
oversea, especially when players are devious. Video evidence
does not lie, and Boe Morte would have seen red under those
conditions for violent conduct.
john terry, Lady Lake, USA / Florida
I don't think the referee was far off the mark.
As Lampard got up from the tangle with Boa Morte, he appeared to use Boa Morte's prone body as leverage to get up......I'm surprised MOTD experts didn't notice that... Of course, he probably didn't mean to inflict any injury on his opponent with what appeared to be a lengthy leverage session...........which is what lead to Boa Morte's backwards kick in retaliation ( another sending off offence..)
Peter S.Lewis, Bidford-on-Avon, UK
I've always found the depth of loathing of Lampard inexplicable, given his essential, well, dullness. I'm a lifelong Chelsea fan, and when he arrived for £11m I vividly remember people saying 'we payed £11m for that ?!?' as he floundered in midfield. But over the years he worked on his game and became one of the best midfielders in the world. He scores a lot, wins trophies, has a pretty good disciplinary record, is articulate and sensible, and generally conducts himself with restraint in a milieu not known for it. Mr Liddle's case seems to consist of: 1. Frank's facial expressions - which always seem pretty blank to me. 2. Self-promoting interviews after England games - well, I must have missed those. Is that it ? Is that the best that the Lampard-loathers can come up with ? I know that irrational hatred is the main stimulus of the British football fan, but this takes the biscuit. Let's hear some real objections to Lampard - just keep it rational, OK ?
muir mackean, frome, somerset
2 Premier League medals, 1 FA Cup, 2 League Cup, he left West Ham to play for a bigger and better club, and the reason its only £20 to get in at Millwall is because no one in their right mind would pay a penny more.
Andy Blower, Nuneaton, England
I don't share Rod's dislike of Lampard (that is just a manisfestation of the another team fan's view). However I woud agree regarding the new selfseeking type of match official who has one eye on his post retirement dinner speaking engagements and the other on his controversial (has to be to sell) autobigraphy. That much lamented er sorry lamentable Graham (three yellows) Poll has much to ansewr for. The best referees used to be the ones you never noticed - these days they are touting for celebrity status.
That said they would not get away with it except for the inept organisations that are the FA and the Premier League whose only raison d'etre seems to be £$£$.
I don't know why Monsieurr Whinger gets upset - his players seem to be able to get away with most of their unsavoury
tackles - except Eboue who was pushing his luck to the extreme. One would almost think that David Dein left some acquaintainces in the FA to help the Arsenal cause along.
Rob, Telford, UK
He didn't deserve to be red carded but I share your schadenfreude that his sending off produced.
May it happen again soon.
martin, Baldock, UK
I share a disdain for Mr. Lumpard as much as you do, perhaps more being a West Ham fan. I do think the sending off was a little harsh although I too enjoyed it immensely. His near constant disparaging remarks aimed at his former fans are, to me, reason enough to send him off as often as possible.
That said, he was hardly blameless in the situation. First he threw himself on top of Boa Morte as hard as he could with a well executed WWE style elbow smash followed by a swift boot to the backside as soon as he regained his feet. The missed punch turned shove was almost anti-climactic and, unlike the Dead Snake, he actually managed to connect all three times.
Bob, Winnipeg, Canada
Rod - there will scarcely be a Lampard fan in the land who wish to boil your acid tongue! However as a former fan of the great man I am in almost total agreement with you - (a) about his sour (and repeatedly self-justifying) demeanour (b) about the ridiculous posing and posturing by referees - and linesmen - sorry assistant referees - and (c) about the conspicuous absence of common sense at the FA - although this last is scarcely news. The game at the top has become increasingly corrupted by far too much money and heavily intrusive and all pervading media attention which places all these people on pedestals to which none of them are entitled. Football at the highest level has lost its soul. And I write as a Chelski fan - although of nearly 40 years standing so I have been through thin and thin with that lot.
Tim, Kingston,
Most amusing article Mr Liddle. I daresay Mr Lampard will undergo many a sleepless night ruminating over the fact that you happen not to like him.
Perhaps you should show a modicum of gratitude towards our Frank. Afterall his permanently aggrieved demeanour has provided you the inspiration for this article. Hence a contribution to your livelihood.
Ollie, Kingston Upon Thames, UK