This week, I spoke to John Woodcock, Cricket Correspondent of this parish
1954-88, and received the first words of sense I have heard on the subject
of jellybeans: “They should be forced to play their next game in short
trousers.” Absolutely. The whole business is childish beyond description.
The taunting of an opponent by leaving sweets on the pitch is pathetic. It
destroys a spectator’s pleasure in the game. It certainly made me switch my
allegiance to India. I thought England deserved what they got. And I don’t
think I was alone in that.
And yet the England cricket team defend such idiocy. More, they take pride in
it. The whole business of taunting, putting off, insulting – all the things
that go under the name of sledging – has become a battleground in which
ugliness and inanity struggle for supremacy.
The stump microphone picked up a classic piece of sledging wit during that
second Test between England and India. “I’m driving a Porsche Carrera;
what’s your car?” Thus the exquisite Wildean wit of the modern England
cricketer is laid bare.
It is, of course, the sort of remark you would expect from a Porsche driver, a
Porsche being the naffest car ever manufactured. But is it a suitable remark
to make to a man from a Third World nation who is a guest in your country?
The combination of vulgarity and insensitivity is mind-numbing.
But the thing that really gets to me is that England cricketers seriously
believe that sledging makes them better players. They prink and preen
because they say bad things to people when they cannot fight back. Hard men,
eh?
“It comes with the territory,” Matt Prior, the England wicketkeeper, said.
“It’s international cricket, it’s a hard game. We all want to win, we’re all
playing to win, so you’re going to have banter.” Prior is simply telling the
world: “I’m well ’ard.”
As a point of information, people who need to tell the world that they are
well ’ard are not, in fact, ’ard at all. They are just mouthy gits. Real
hard man don’t need to tell you.
The England cricket team are suffering from confusion. The players believe to
a man that behaving like an arsehole makes you a better cricketer. The fact
is that it doesn’t. It only makes you an arsehole.
Peter Moores, the England head coach and team director, has talked up his
belief that his team should be more aggressive. That is interpreted by all –
perhaps even intended by him – as charter to drop all reasonable standards
of behaviour, as if serious sport can only ever take place in an atmosphere
of festering playground antipathy.
This is not only untrue, it is not what we spectators want. One of the many
great things about the Ashes series of 2005 was the respect between the
players. The ultimate image of the series was Andrew Flintoff’s moment of
commiseration with Brett Lee after England’s narrow win at Edgbaston in the
second Test. We liked that – that’s how we want cricket played.
So what is Moores’s response to the present outbreak of nonsense? “There is an
issue about whether the stump mike should be so loud.” No there is not,
there is an issue about whether the England players should make such prats
of themselves.
It’s not as if it did them any good. Zaheer Khan, the man insulted by means of
jellybeans, responded by taking five second-innings wickets as England
slithered to defeat, leaving Michael Vaughan, the home team’s captain,
feebly trying to explain that, although Zaheer had played awfully well, it
wasn’t the jellybeans that had inspired him. Zaheer took the opposite view.
England didn’t look well ’ard, they looked well pathetic. These people are
supposed to be playing for England, they are supposed to be representing me.
How has it come about, then, this belief that bad manners and good cricket are
inseparable? Australia, obviously. For years, England have believed that
everything good in cricket is Australian and that the more Australian the
England team can be, the more cricket matches they will win.
So England have copied the boasting and the taunting while failing to produce
a Shane Warne or a Glenn McGrath. And it’s contentious, I know, but I think
Warne and McGrath did more to win cricket matches for Australia than any
amount of mental disintegration inspired by Steve Waugh’s sledging. England
may lack the talent of Warne and McGrath, but they can certainly behave in
an infantile and boorish fashion, and that’s almost as good, isn’t it?
Cricket is a game in which people talk. There’s plenty of opportunity for it,
after all. And I’ve played it. As a lapsed wicketkeeper, I’d say the
strongest part of my game was the ability to suck my teeth loudly enough for
the batsman to hear it 15 yards away after the ball had passed the bat.
Banter, seldom terribly edifying, is a part of cricket, on the village green
and elsewhere. No one expects cricket to take place in a reverential hush
and, amid the general din, no one is sure whether he is trying to encourage
the bowler or disturb the batsman.
So there is a line to be drawn. I’d be inclined to draw it on purely aesthetic
grounds: if it’s ugly, childish and pathetic, it’s time for the umpires to
step in, as they are empowered to do. As Christopher Martin-Jenkins has
pointed out on these pages before, a five-run penalty for an illegal attempt
to put the batsman off is within the laws of the game.
The ICC should encourage umpires to take this on. It would be the direct
opposite of what happened in tennis, when John McEnroe was making an idiot
of himself. Then, tennis umpires let him throw his tantrums because they
feared that defaulting him would make too much trouble. The ICC needs to
grasp the nettle on this one because the players – and coaches such as
Moores – don’t even think they are behaving badly. No, they think they are
being cool, they think they are being Real Men.
Me. I’d like to watch an England team who played good, aggressive cricket,
rather than merely pretending to do so. Cricket is supposed to be
aggressive: the increased aggression in the bowling of Ryan Sidebottom and
Chris Tremlett this season has been good, not bad.
But these improvements are not dependent on throwing sweeties at batsmen or
boasting about what kind of penis substitute you happen to drive. All the
cult of sledging does is spoil the game for the spectators, who want to see
a good match contested in a forthright, full-on, flat-out, aggressive,
honourable, decent, grown-up way. If we don’t get that, perhaps we will
start to look elsewhere for our sporting pleasures.
I shall leave the last word to King Lune of Archenland, from The Chronicles of
Narnia. His impetuous son insults an enemy who is brought before the court
in chains. “Shame, Corin. Never taunt a man, save when he is stronger than
you: then as you please.”
What did you expect from a team which exalts Pietersen and Prior to such an extent? Boers, eh?
Carys Mathews, Chester, uk
Were any of the jellybeans brown?
Maybe that's what got their curried goat up?
john, ipswich,
As an Indian who has lived in England for several years, I am a great admirer of the English cricket 'fans' - gentlemen who love to see a nice game being played. I have seen countless Englishmen sad to see the innings of a Lara, Tendulkar or Azharuddin come to an end. Nasser Hussain contributed more than anyone to introduce an element of meanness in the game. He pushed the rules to the limit in the series in India to prevent Tendulkar from scoring and succeeded in making Sachin fail by scoring only an average in the 90s.. Since then it has been downhill. The English are constantly setting lower and lower standards of conduct. My views are simple. Thank God for the microphones. Actually make them louder. Sledging in any form and using unparliamentary language, make them penalisable offences. This can be done without losing aggressiveness in play.
Sundar, New Malden, Surrey
The article is well written. Sledging has got nothing to do with third world country or being brave sledger. Its not the spirit of the game . Thats all. Its better to fight it fare and square. Having said that , I must say that Steve from Sunshine Coast ,Australia is, unfortunately yet to understand the Indian Culture. I recommend him to read book by Mr Jim Corbett-' My India' to understand why . You may like to visit India again after reading that book.
Regards
Amit R Dalvi, Mumbai, , India
2 comments , do jelly beans really merit this reaction?
and to our Indian friends enraged by the term 3rd world, how eles am i suppose to describe the poverty and hordes of children begging i saw on my recent visit?
Steve , Sunshine Coast, Australia
Well said. Sledging has been my hobby horse for some time now. I was watching the last test with my young daughters and was embarrassed to have to explain to them the childish and crass behaviour of some of the England team. We talk piously about the spirit of cricket, yet it has been diluted beyond recognition, starting with the Aussie's vile notion of mental disintergation. If that's your aim, what happens if the batsman is Trescothick? Is it OK to taunt your opponent about a relative's death, or your wife's infidelity? The umpires are worried about their authority being eroded by technology. Give them some back by allowing them to warn and then send off any player abusing another cricketer. Surely we all pay to see talent succeed, not the person with the biggest mouth.
Miles Harper, London, UK
Good article. Makes an excellent point and pulls no punches.
But if you think Moores and Prior are living in denial, good old Justin is on another planet:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/cricket/6931390.stm
He says turning off stump microphones will present cricket in a positive light to kids. Yes, Justin, and if you manage to hide all the hungry people in this world, you would have solved world hunger.
Ravi, Singapore,
krishna from bangalore, india - so India is ranked 26 countries below Palestine. So why don't you just go and live in Palestine?
That said, I totally agree with Simon. The biggest fear I have is that cricket is going the way of football. We'll have hooligans and everything that goes with that. The biggest reason cricket held my affection is that it was essentially a decent game of bat vs ball. Now it's sledging vs sledging. Much as I admire Steve Waugh, he has left a terrible and disgusting legacy with his so-called mental disintegration.
Pete, London,
I am seriously offended by Mr. Barnes than Mr. Prior. How can you say India as Third World Country. I guess its pretty stupid on the part of Mr. Barnes. Evolve and Explore, Mr. Barnes.
Lal, Haldipur, UP
I bet no one asked Tendulkar what car he drives?
The response would have been simple " I could afford 20 or so of the Porsche's but instead I drive a Ferrari given to me by Ferrari and Michael Shumacher"
Bal, Walsall, England
A balanced perspective, Simon.
Copying the bad behaviour of the Aussie cricketers is not going to make the English cricketers better.
Stump microphones must remain and perhaps toned up to make them more sensitive. Just as cameras in malls deter thieves and vandals, the microphones might put some restraint on the foul mouths of these cricketers.
Jamie K, USA,
Spot on and brilliantly articulated, could not agree more. I for one would love to see some sportsmanship and maturity on the field. Penis substitute is right - these gentlement need to grow up and let the glove/ball do the talking. Focus on the game Messrs Prior and Sreesanth and play in the spirit of the sport.
Piya Khanna, London, London
It was interesting to note the reaction from fellow Indians at India being mentioned 'Third World'. When 260-300 million people live in absolute poverty, would you term the country rich and prosperous. India is without doubt a rich country with millions of very poor people.
Coming back to the question of cricket. I enjoyed the game to the hilt. It was filled with drama, histrionics and madness. What the world of cricket would be without the 'characters' spicing up the game every now and then!!!
At times, the media too gets too involved with trivialities. Whether 'jellybeans' or 'beamers' - as long as the antics are within the rules of the game, they are fine. Media has its job to do - to play up the trivia. Players, if they still want to throw jellybeans and send beamers, should be doing what they are allowed to do within the boundaries of the game.
Kavin Kanagasabai, London, UK
In reply to whoever said they had a Porsche I would have said "Wasn't that a dog in The Archers?
Dave, Derby,
It is all about winning and losing. Some are good losers and I am afraid some are definetly not. I am afraid our English cricket side is boorishly becoming a bunch of bad losers. Can we somehow play cricket please.
Ishod J., Croydon, England
Fantastic article Simon. It had to be said by someonee so well done.
Marcus Lapthorn
Marcus Lapthorn, Faringdon, UK
Excellent article, Mr. Barnes, Peter Moores' reaction was to me especially irksome. Anywayws, here's hoping England And Sreesanth pull up their socks and just play some good, hard cricket.
To my fellow Indians who take umbrage at the white man calling India a 'third word country' - I present to you the Human Development Index where (10% growth notwithstanding) India pulls in at #126, a full 26 places below the Occupied Territories of Palestine. If that isn't third world I'm not sure what is . This is not to get into a political debate, but merely to suggest that people get off their high horses..
Of course India's "galacticos" are very wealthy indeed, but I don't see the likes of Jaffer and R.P Singh driving Porches, so I'm guessing the remark was directed at someone like that..
krishna, bangalore, india
Crikey! What a furore. Not being able to follow cricket that closely, and just getting back from holiday, i've missed all the developments of this test series. Didn't even realise that there was a South African connection with Prior. But that might help to explain any boorish behaviour. It's about what you'd expect in this rude, unprincipled, greedy world. Even in a sport as relatively "quaint" and "dignified" as cricket. In this day and age, it's all too rare to have truly "decent" sporting heroes. (Roger Federer being one of the few examples that spring to mind.)
Peter Koeb, Geneva, Switzerland
A lot of respondants to Simon's article have taken issue with his calling India a "third world country." For straters her is not wrong. And further, focussing on that one thing in his article is to "miss the forest for the trees." The main point he was making was that the whole "Porsche" incident is outlandishly rude behavior from host to guest.
Great article!
S.Mahadevan, Knoxville, Tennessee, USA
Thank you Simon for focussing so succinctly on the root cause of the acrimony. (Sadly Moores and Prior will not have read your words as they only read The Sun in between their football hooligan duties.)
I do have a question about the jelly-beans : if England are using these (via their saliva) to polish the ball, does this amount to ball-tampering ?
Peter, Antwerp, Belgium
A fabulous article by Simon Barnes. In total agreement!
Cricket's about the tradition of elegant play and talent; as well as sportsmanship. It's time that England captains should not only be judged on how many tests they win or how many runs they score, but also how they represent the nation and manage the team.
Let's continue to praise captains like Nasser Hussain, and Flintoff; and get rid of players such as Vaughan who see no shame defending jelly beaning the opposition and not controlling the Motormouth behind the stumps (Prior)!
Pietersen should be grateful to play for England and let his runs do the talking.
What has happened to the status of the country who introduced the wonderful game to the rest of the world? Have they got to such a level of desperation that they need to resort to stupidity to try and win a game?!
Sledging exists, yes, but can we have some intelligence pls?
How does the England camp (players and management)expect support with such behaviour?
Ayesha Patel, Purley, Surrey,
India a third world country?
You attitude is just as condescending as the cricketer who asked about the car. I hope you are smart enough to understand this comment.
Vivek, Dallas, TX
I will take exception to one statement in this good article. About a cricketer from "Third World" (as the author describes him to be from) being taunted about an expensive car.
The cricketer from the third world must probably be making a ton more money than the cricketer who made that comment, and yes could probably easliy afford a Prosche.
Ramesh, San Jose, CA, USA
Need anybody say more!
Robert Ogle, Retford, Notts
It's clear that the Porsche jibe was an attempt to make the batsman play a drive. Everyone knows the Indian players are very wealthy. Secondly, it is ridiculous to say that India isn't a third world country when it fits both definitions of the term precisely. You may be ashamed that 25% of the population is under the poverty line, but that doesn't make it any less true.
Blob, Sydney,
Best article on jellybeans I've read. Sreesanth behaved like an idiot, and needs some talking to. At least at the end of the day, he feels embarrassed about his antics on the field. But Prior and Moore seem to be relentless in their insistence, days after the game, that behaving like a yob makes for a better cricketer.
As for what Indian cricketers make, and whether it is a third-world country: sure the galacticos could buy up a dozen Porsches if they wanted. The fact remains, that notwithstanding our nuclear reactors and satellites and software parks, there are more people in India living on less than a dollar a day than the entire population of the USA. If that's not a third-world country, I don't know what is. We urban Indians are hopelessly out of touch with the vast majority.
Vinod Srinivasan, Minneapolis, MN, USA
A third world country whose multinationals invest more money in London than any other country in the world except the USA? Simon: the new India is a very complicated place. The third world/first world binary is hopelessly outmoded. Furthermore, you do know, that this third world country controls 70 per cent of sponsorship for this game, worldwide?
Furthermore, while I agree with most of your article, your issues regarding hospitality towards players of the third world who have never seen a porsche in their lives, can be construed as offensive, obsolete, and smacking of an old world mentality. The key factor in jelleygate isn't the chucking of jellybeans themselves. In 1986, no touring Indian cricketer would have made much of it. In 2007, what is worth noting is that the Zaheer Khans of the world did react...
Very pertinent article, though...
Sid, London,
Guess what! Most of the Indian crickets have very big and new cars, better than Porches.
That is the funny part of the whole thing!
Tim, Brisbane, Queensland
I am not sure I agree with the sanctimonious tone of this article. Next week there will probably be an article from the same journalist claiming that there are no longer any characters in the game and the players do not enjoy themselves any more. The jellybean incident was a harmless prank, nothing more nothing less and pranks have been a part of cricket for generations. Sometimes journalists feel the need to behave like dreary schoolmasters and pretend they no longer have a sense of humour.
Peter Lance, Liphook,
To the porsche comment, I'd have replied "my car's a bloody bullock cart and the way you're playing, you'd do better off pulling it."
aniruddha, urbana,
What a great article? I only wish I had read it before lamenting about the double standards in the British media in the comments section of another article, "Sreesanth living dangerously in role of pantomime villain." I was hasty to generalize and for that I am sorry.
I do agree with the Jonathan's and Chris' comments here that a Porsche is by no means a pie in the sky for at least half the Indian cricket team. Now, whether the roads back home can withstand the acceleration is another matter! So the alleged sledger to be adequately insensitive should have said, "I can drive a Porshe on my roads. Which car can you drive on those dirt tracks of yours?"
Jay, New York,
My retort to Mr Prior would have been...My country is growing at 10% GDP....your country??
The cricketers in India earn so much that english cricketers can only dream about. Mr Prior first needs to get some runs on the board otherwise he would soon loose his porsche.
AJ, atlanta, USA
There can be little doubt that the jelly beans arrived via the England side. How they got to be around the opposition batsmans ground can only be because they were either dropped by mistake or deliberately placed/throw there. How serious were the English players taking this game if they were dropping sweets all around the pitch? Never, it was deliberate. Having followed the England team all over the world I am ashamed at the levels they have sunk to, to try and influence a game. Trying to be like Aussies or South African sledgers is just not working. How I wish they could just try and play decent cricket. Saying that there are three South African's in the side and at least two of them (Prior and KP) seemed to be involved in someway with the niggle that was going on. Add to that a SA bowling consultant .Maybe this needs to be looked at? England cricket just doesn't seem very English anymore. Pathetic.
Rogan, London,
A big thank you to Simon Barnes for his splendid article on the ill-mannered English cricketers (and his comment on the bullying approach to sport of John McEnroe)
We can well do without either attitude, and if that leaves us on the losing side, so be it.
Why do we now have to have a wicket keeper who is selected for his non-stop sledging rather than his ability behind the stumps?
Rather like Simon Barnes, I finished the second test siding with India.
John Rossell, Nottingham,
Mr. Barnes,
I have read a number of articles on the jellygate episode, yours is truly the best of them. Outstanding writing.
renjith antony, liverpool,
Let me start with the areas in which I am in full agreement with you:
Throwing jelly beans onto the pitch is, without doubt, the most pathetic piece of attempted sledging that I've ever been made aware of. Quite what it was meant to have been aiming to achieve, I really cannot begin to imagine.
Secondly, the 'Porsche' sledge is possibly only slightly behind in terms of embarrassment - quite how it would facilitate the 'mental disintegration' described initially by Steve Waugh, I really don't know.
However, from there on in, I find the article annoyingly inaccurate - anyone reading it who had not also watched both of the Tests to date might imagine that the nasty bully boys of the England team had conducted a completely one-sided, spiteful diatribe against the poor little innocents from the sub-continent.
The truth is that the series to date has been a bad tempered one with both sides as guilty as one another.
Report the whole truth or please don't bother at all.
Steve Ryles, Cheltenham, England
Simon barnes is a multiaward winning sports writer, and he is so for a very good reason. He holds some principles dear to his heart.
It is nice to know that there is someone in England trying to steer their " jelly babies cricket team" away from their pathetic, backward and downright silly, arrogant and prehistoric behaviour.
Th English team are bad and spiteful loosers.
Vinod Kothari, St Helens, UK
Great article.
"For years, England have believed that everything good in cricket is Australian and that the more Australian the England team can be, the more cricket matches they will win."
- how true is this! I'm a club/minor county player, and i have experienced this first hand with people acting more "australian" as they think it makes them better cricketers. I think its utterly riduculous that England can't find their own "brand" of cricket. Look at the Sri Lankans and how much success they have had in recent years, playing their brand of cricket.
English cricket much like English people as a whole, don't have a sense of identity, they don't know what English culture is all about and therefore feel the need to copy other countries.
Paul, Letchworth,
In my view, the noticeable increase in ridiculous, childish behaviour from England is a direct result of the almost impregnable, closed shop that is "Team England". The siege mentality that Duncan Fletcher fostered: the deep suspicion of anyone and everything outside of the England dressing room's inner sanctum, has turned these players into the slightly unhinged, arrogant mob that they are. The kind of people who refer to themselves in the third person and have little regard or respect for the outside world, let alone the opposition.
Fletcher's influence is lauded, despite the fact that it was Nasser Hussain's aggressive (but crucially fair and adult) captaincy that started the revival and Troy Cooley's grooving of a formidable pace attack that won us the Ashes. I fear that Fletcher's reign has left a legacy with at least as many negatives as positives.
Graham, London, UK
Absolutely spot on, Simon B. If this bloke Peter Moores and his fellow neanderthals in the current England cricket set-up persist in dumbing down the game to this level, then he'll have to go - and the quicker the better!!
Tony Stephenson, Newcastle upon Tyne,
A further thought don't worry about the cars; worry about the game of Cricket and its traditions.
Richard Brown, Chester,
Thank you Simon,
The occassional spark of wit, every six months or so, does not disguise the fact that this is sheer rudeness, calling behaving like a brat/prat "sledging" doesn't change the fact.
Can't they rename it "spin"? Oh, sorry, that's something that cricketers are supposed to do.
How about calling it "being a git", so that every time there is an instance of it, we don't start looking for reindeer to blame.
I thought that the idea was to win by playing better cricket, if the England team don't feel they can do that, why are they on the pitch?
Kidd Garrett, Bristol, UK
I hear that Jade Goddy is going to join the England XI. She has the same prejudice, aggression and mentality as some of the current team members.
Linus Letap, London, UK
Thrird world country eh? I reckon the Indian 12th man makes more than most of the English team (excluding I'll-sell-my-ma-for-a-quid Pietersen). Indian cricketers are amongst the richest in the world and I think nearly every one of them has naffty cars. Sachin, of course, has 20 of them including a ferrari. Somehow I doubt Prior having a Porsche is going to make Dhoni and Co. sob with jealousy.
Anyway, this time next year, Prior will be asking you "if you want fries with that"...
Sid, Rome, Italy
Perhaps it is time to re-name MCC to MCSC....Marylebone Cricket and Sledging Club ?
J. Anderson, London, England
My advice/request/suggestion to all Poms. FORGET THE ASHES'05.
It was 2 years ago. I understand you guys havent won anything before or after. But you simply have to stop reminding us of it.
Do the S.A's talk about the 434 chase? Do the Indians talk about Laxman's test? Do the Windies talk about their mini world cup victory?
Every single time I read a column written by an Englishman or listen to a English commentator, no matter what the context is, there is a reference to the Ashes! Invariably its used as an excuse. " The Ashes bowling attack is not available. Things could have been different had they been around." Lets take a moment
Simon Jones: I dont think he has played a single test afterwards or is likely to play any.
Harmison: Would he find a place in 11 after Sidebottom's performance
Giles: I say please play him and drop Monty. I am sure we would have won at Lords
Hoggard and Flintoff: Only two good English bowlers
Ram, Champaign, IL, USA
Sledging has always, and will always be part of the game. It is about time the England players started to mention a few things on the pitch.
When there were no stump mics I am sure that what was said out in the middle was far worse than anything said now. The point was at that time that what was said in the middle stayed in the middle. Now with stump mics everything is picked up and nothing stays in the middle, so now every do gooder gets up in arms. It is pathetic if the mics were off it would stay where it was meant to stay and the players could leave it there and have a laugh in the dressing room afterwards.
Now the bleeding heart press get hold of everything and make a huge song and dance, instead of focusing on real issues like Tendulkars great innings or the future of Flintoff, if there is one, BUT NO the press focus on things they should never be privy to.
I think in the next test Prior should cover the mics with a big toffee.
Richard, Northampton, UK
while i agree with the sentiment of the article it seems to me all too pompous. it is after all just a game. played by (child)men. there is pressure there and don't underestimate it - the difference between being selected for england and not is enormous in both income and status.
do i think it childish and boorish? sure. do i care? no. and in that sense i think Moores is right - the stump mikes are too loud - let them bore away on the pitch (and in the stands) i want to watch my cricket from a distance watching the real struggle between bat and ball; the elegance of Vaughan, the application of the Indian mega-talent, the exuberance of new boy Tremlett, the passion of Panesar and if their linen is dirty i dont want it washed in public but nor do i expect it to be clean.
OJ, Frant, UK
Courtesy on or off the cricket field is an individual, learned behaviour. Playing field hockey in England I heard a player apologise to the referee for stopping a ball with his foot . He had broken a rule and that for him was taking an unfair advantage, That is sportsmanship and it should exist in sport and in life.
Warren O'Rourke, Toronto, Ontario, CANADA
i really wonder why the author has referred INDIA a third world country, comfortably forgetting , If it all it were ever a third world country it was because of the country where he was born...
balaji, chennai, tamilnadu
It is quite ironic to taunt the Indian palyers by asking then what car they drive ... I suppose some of the England camp may know that Sachin probably earns more than the COMBINED England Team..and he is not alone ... either ..
Jas, Ealing , Uk
Simon
I tend to take less offence at your "third world" comment -- if only for the incredibly awesome assessment of England's behavior. Whatever people say about Vaughan's captaincy, there appears to be something of a confused brat in him, manifesting itself in his third-person references to self and his juvenile defences of churlish behaviour. I, for one, believe that Flintoff is the only really hard man in the England team, maybe the only one at all in the last fifteen years apart from Alec Stewart.
Karthik Gopalan, Bangalore, India
Simon Barnes article on sledging is the best I have ever read on the subject. Suggest he might sometime consider what happened last year to the test umpire who imposed a 5 run penalty.
Brian Busteed, Kinsale, Ireland
Frankly, I don't see the reason why the 'jellygate' episode has been blown out of proportions, like Matt Prior said in his BBC column.
Such bits of agressiveness could make test cricket more and more interesting, considering how much it is losing popularity among the common public. It's rubbish, the fact that Zaheer bowled such a spell just because of the jellygate incident, I think that he would have done so even if he wasn't provoked!
Thirucumaran Ratnavadivel, Kotahena, Sri Lanka
A very good article, although yes, the allusion to India as a third world country wasn't too bright. But I agree fully with the main sentiments and also protest the yobbish behaviour of the current England team. It was enough to turn my support to India also.
What is going to change it though? Unfortunately your article doesn't provide a solution apart from run penalties. It will take more than penalties. It needs the opprobrium of England cricket supporters in general. Perhaps the Barmy Army could be persuaded to turn out in force and loudly support the opposition until the England team shows it has restored its sense of dignity.
brian, London,
The funny thing, is, Sachin drives a Ferrari...and I think Ganguly drives around in a Mercedes
Today's Indian cricketers represent the economically confident India...people don't go around driving 1940s type cars anymore, they've all been replaced by sexy Japanese vehicles
Aditya, New York, USA
Having listened on the radio in the last couple of days to "Goughy", "Matty", "Monty", "Vaughny" and others (why do crickers always have "y" at the end of their name) I was disgruntled to find not a shread of real concern about this..... sledging at this or any other level is just a turn off.....real talent doesn't need it. Who thought Andre Nel was a better bowler when he started and abused batsmen after every delivery ?
The bigger issue is that every professional cricketer knows that sweets (like jelly beans) are eaten during games to add sugar to saliva that is then applied to the ball to get a better shine on one side. That's outside the spirit of the game - it's ball tampering - and the jelly bean is evidence of it. How thick to you have to be to then 'drop' one on a pitch?
Let the cameras and the stump mic tell the story and get the third umpire an conjuntion with those on the pitch grow some hair and stamp it out.
Steven Butts, Ilkley, UK
Oh for goodness sake, why can't people get off their high horse about this? This is hardly up there with bodyline, ball-tampering and match-fixing. The slip cordon look foolish, and I suspect they regret their actions now. It's not worth 5 days of constant moral outrage.
Mr Barnes is becoming more and more puritan every day, I suspect a move to the Mail is imminent.
Andy, London, UK
Sam, what nonsense is this? Someone has the good heart to call us guests, and you pick on an innocent use of 'third world country' and rant about it? If you had paid attention in school, you would have learnt that guests are respected higher than God in our culture. It's important to know about your culture before you start defending it. FYI, it is acceptable to call India a third world country in certain contexts, this being one of them. Excellent article, Simon. Cheers!
Sid, Atlanta, USA
It is obvious that writter while deploring the behavior of English players hurls insults to India by mentioning thta India is a third world country and also boasting that they are a wealthy nation.
May be I should also mention that an average cricketer in India NOW earns more than a British Cricketer (and I am not even mentioning likes of Dravid, Ganguly and Tendulkar).
Did you see that bad behaviour always directed to people who are NOT WHITE?
Colonialism is long dead but mentality that prevailed in the era has remained same.
Indian players no longer feel themselves to be subservient to whites as India is slowly but surely awakening from slumber and aftermath of subjugation by British empire.
Rajendra Parikh, St.Louis, USA
India ain't third world Simon. And the behavior of our cricketing representives is certainly a few "worlds" ahead of the behavior of the yobs England sends to the field
Ranjit, London, U
i dont think it is right to call india a third world country anyway our cricketers are definately first world as they mostly travel in bmw and lexus which are very near to porsche in terms of luxury.
pranay, mumbai, maharashtra
Just as a point, perhaps when referring to what car they drive they weren't commenting on how much money they had but instead the batsmen's penchant for driving. On our cricket pitch you can often hear the cry "seatbelts lads, we've got ourselves a driver" or something similar. I believe sledging to be an interesting and focussing part of the game. A jelly bean was dropped, childish perhaps, but Simon are you not making far more of this than needs be? Turn the mic up i say, lets have a good laugh!
Richard, leeds, west yorks
Mr Barnes
As usual and as expected from you, a very well written article. Aggression is part of the natural psyche for some nations and a pathetic attempt to copy that [interpreting the sledging as the sole reason for their successes] will end up as silly, stupid and uncouth antics.
I would like to take an exception to one of your comments.
But is it a suitable remark to make to a man from a Third World nation who is a guest in your country?
As someone who has been following India's amazing economic growth [now contributes to 80% of the finance in world cricket] and also been in Bangalore last month while on a holiday, I would like to point out that that remark is untrue, crass and stands out like a sore thumb in an otherwise excellent piece of writing.
Alex, Wolverhampton, U.K
I agree with almost all that Simon Barnes has to say on the question of sledging and the boorish behaviour that, if not reined in, threatens to put more and more people off a game that had just started to bring the crowds back into the grounds (for certain parts of the game at least). I do wonder, however, how leaving a piece of confectionery on the pitch can be considered taunting anyone. I assume that Mr Barnes is not making the same point in relation to jelly beans to take to an extreme his (correct in essence, notwithstanding the ill-judged reference to "third world" to describe India) point on the Porsche; I can assure him that sweets are available even to those on the sub-continent. Leaving sweets on a cricket pitch - childish yes; annoying perhaps; taunting clearly not.
EC, London,
Well said, Mr. Barnes. Vaughn and Moores deserve to be read the riot act by the match referee. (And Sreesanth should have been banned from the third Test, or at least officially warned about that beamer.) That anybody would want to ape Australian cricketing etiquette is a truly disturbing thought.
Incidentally, the Porsche comment was stupid for all the wrong reasons. Tendulkar drives a Ferrari. He, Dravid and Ganguly are probably wealthier - and drive more obscenely expensive cars - than all the England players put together. So much for the Third World.
S. Sen, New York, US
Well said. I'm glad someone could point out the massive problem English cricket is facing today. And thank you so much for picking up on the stump mic issue. I literally could not believe what Moores had to say on the matter.
M, London,
Simon: Not sure how much cricket you have played but being both an opening batsmen and bowler I have been called every name under the sun. I have been told to go do certain things with animals and family members from opposition players. Not sure if it is like that playing in England but in Australia sledging is a very normal part of the game.
Putting Jelly beans on the pitch and talking about driving a type of car.... get real are people so soft that something like this would hurt someone?
If it does then maybe they shouldn’t be playing any international sport or sport in general.
Marc, Sydney, NSW
Simon - good article - Kudos to you for writing it. This isnt a dump against any country per-se, but the point I hope you are making is that Cricket is unlike no other game, and its spectators expect decency, gamesmanship, and a hard fought out game played by respectful gentlemen on the cricket pitch. I am 38 - grew up as a Sri Lankan, and learned my cricket that way, as I am sure many of us non Sri Lankans have. Here's hoping that Cricket goes back to the game it was all across the world, giving us cheer and providing the next generation of our sons (and daughters) a sporting example that is classy - to aspire to.
Erik M, New York, USA
Simon, Congratulations on a very well written up article with a lot of advice to the England team management (if there is any) and for Indian cricketers too. Moore has further made a fool of himself by asking to turn down the volume of stump microphones rather than asking his players to shut up. I tend to agree with Chris and Jonathan above and feel that your argument on playing the 'porche' joke on players from third world does not really speak well of a man of your stature - this would rather go well with a person still proud of his imperial and colonial past. The other two readers have rightly pointed out and it is highly likely that the person on whom the joke was played already has a porche alongwith a ferrari in his garage and that to with a uniformed chauffeur to drive him around. It is also a common knowledge that once out of hisw central contract same player who made this bad tasting joke would struggle to pay his mortgage here. But a great article nonetheless.
Minkesh, Swansea, Wales
An excellent article. What is pathetic in the whole incident is the England coach justifying sledging. Playing good cricket should never involve sledging. A player should be able to display his skills without any help from his teammates in the form of sledging. Unfortunately everybody involves in sledging and justifies it just because the other guy is doing it. There should be strict rules to curb this offensive behaviour.
Hindupur Rajagopalan, Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Vulgarity is the curse of the English and their antipodean cousins. The silly English manager said something to the effect that since his boys were playing for their country, aggression was the order of the day, thereby condoning remarks aimed at disturbing a batsman's concentration.. When Wally Hammond, Denis Compton or even Geoff Boycott waited for the ball, you could hear a pin drop out of respect for the batsman. No-one was quieter than the fielders. But that was when cricket carried a code of behaviour. The oiks who play cricket today, backed by their oikish manager, can never fully understand the beauty of cricket if they adopt dirty tactics to influence the game in place of eye and sinew. The players should be reminded that they are indeed playing for England and that their behaviour on the field should therefore be impeccable. The sad thing about the whole nasty business is that kids all over the world will think it normal to cheat; and there can be no doubt, this is cheating.
Herbert Campbell, Valencia,
How strange that I find myself in 100% agreement with a sports writer, a pom no less.
The only fault I have with the essay is that Steve Waugh didn't come in for more of a hammering.
He turned me from being a proud australian to someone who is embarrassed and ashamed of the player's behaviour.
If this sort of thing isn't reversed I feel cricket may die (save for limited overs). Maybe it should.
Sir Francis, Sydney, Australia
I think there is too much "high and mighty" criticism" of the England players by the fuddy duddy press.
I see no criticism of players brandishing bats at fielders? Or seeing a bowler purposefully try to decapitate a batsman, or shoulder barge the opposing captain? Or bowl a 2 yard over no ball?
Verbal jousts are part of the game. You need to wake up and smell the coffee here. This isn't 22 vicars playing on a village green, it is tough out there - so how about letting the players get on with it. Why be so quick to condemn England, when the best team in the world, Australia, are past masters at it.
The typical journalistic tendency in this country is a critical holier than though "we will rise above all of this and never try to seek an edge on an opponent...blah blah...WG Grace....blah blah".
With this attitude, why do you think we under achieve so badly in all international sports when our own journalists come down so hard on any attempt to seek an advantage on the other team
Alan B, London,
It's incredible how in all their self-righteous prattle english journalists haven't once said how the prank could have turned deadly for the batsman. after all, is it very different from digging a hole in the pitch? This was a far more nasty and gratuitous offence than sreesanth's beam ball (it could have slipped, you know) - but no, not if you have been reading the english media.
but sauce for the goose has never been sauce for the english gander, has it?
huyen, bangkok, thailand
India... a thirld world nation?
Sir, have you been to India?
sally p, London,
Only someone who is either deluded or needs a straight jacket would believe Sree Santh's apology about the beamer or the no ball. Why is he not banned for the 3rd test? What is more serious - trying to kill someone or leaving a jelly bean on the floor?
Alan B, London,
This is the best article I have read on this issue. It must be made compulsory reading for Moores, Vaughn and the entire english team and let us not forget, the match referee too. Cricket should be played with bat and ball and not with the mouth.
Narayan B Menon, Bangalore, India
When India went out of the World Cup, one article said sponsors were dropping the players like flies because they had let down the public so much, and went on to say top Indian cricketers earned around £500,000 a year. On that money they can afford a lot better than a Porsche.
chris, worthing, england
Simon: I think that nowadays a lot of the Indian players themselves drive nice cars. After all, they are part of the new vibrant, economically confident India. Now if England had said that car remark to a Dutch cricketeer then it would have been funny!
Jonathan, Costa Mesa, CA, USA
I remember Brian Close, in 1961, taking hit after hit to his body from the Australian bowlers without one word.
But England won the match and, I think, the series.
This was at a time when we still just had Gentlemen and Players. In those days Gentlemen were defined by whether or not they were paid to play (I know, I know. Play for England for fun. How pathetic!).
Now it seems there are no Gentlemen, paid or otherwise.
After the Jelly Bean incident I was pleased when these louche fellows were beaten.
Minnie, LA, CA, USA
It's a very valid point but what a terrible way of arguing it.
Mark, London,
This is one of the best articles that I have read for a while in the sporting field.It should be compulsory reading for all associated with the England cricket team.
R.Fletcher, Purley, Surrey
I agree wholeheartedly with this. But what I find most worrying, spooky almost, is the unanimity, and sincerity, with which the "message" is given out by members of the England camp. None of them, apparently, has any reservation at all about any aspect of England's preparation, composition, strategy, outlook or behaviour, nor about the efficiency of the internal power structure.
I'm not able to believe that all our best cricketers just happen, by chance, to follow this school of wacky motivationalism. Can I be assured that we are not disadvantaging ourselves by ignoring those who refuse to sign up for it?
Simon Stephenson, Windermere, UK
“Shame, Corin. Never taunt a man, save when he is stronger than you: then as you please.â€
The Aussies were stronger than anyone with McGrath and Warne in the team,now they will have to be quieter,hopefully,until they prove they are still the best.England are not the best,so they look like idiots trying to prove they can walk the walk.
Noelene, Launceston, Tasmania
Yes Simon Barnes is absolutely right on the button.
The same goes for the Indian team,especially ,fast bowler Sreesanth.Many of his antics were really childish and embarrasing.
The Indian team management need to drill this into his head properly.
rajgopal soory, mumbai, india
Absolutely right. Any insult addressed to the batsman by a fielder should be met with an immediate 5 run penalty.
Jonathan Wilton, Bukit Timah, Singapore
Beautifully put. If only the cricketers had the equivalent skill and grace. I agree with every word you say. I have always supported England against every team other than SA, but this puerile rubbish has turned me off them. and the example they (and the other international teams indlcuding our own) have set has permeated into club cricket here in Cape Town where the spectators can barely concentrate on the game beciause of the din emanating from the field. The insults are sometimes of a nature which would lead to violence if offered off the field. What on earth makes any player think that it is acceptable to say or do to someone on the field something which would be disgraceful behaviour off it.
BC, Cape Town, South Africa
agree with simon barnes in all but the choice of words. I firmly believe that the term 'Third World' should no longer be used espcially in a renowned international Newspaper. this in itself induces segregation which the current world does not require. I suggest using the country's name rather than derogoratroy terms such as develping nations or third world nations - remember we are one world and are influenced by every nation.
s murugesan, manchester, uk
Copying the Australians (and certain other national teams) was never going to be successful, unless it involved also imitating their particular skills and talent. Sadly this acquiring of world-class talent has not been achieved in English cricket for the past twenty years.
I was incredulous with regard to the 'Porche' jibe, as nearly every England Cricketer since perhaps Botham has largely remained less well-known and practically faceless to the British public, than has jade Goody. Compare that to the Indian cricketers, where for good or ill, they are generally superstars, bordering on demi-gods in the Sub-continent. How they must laugh at an England team, of whom the majority will so quickly be forgotten.
Bob, Copenhagen,
Mr Barnes
In the name of criticising England, you fall for the old trap of clutching at stereotypes. Having travelled the world, which i hope you have done as a cricketer and as a writer, you surely must know there there is no more offensive phrase to describe India, to an Indian, than call it a third world country. In this globalised world when countries and peopleare get closer together, i can't believe liberals like yourself think it is acceptable to call India a 'third world country'. Mr Barnes, the first world, second world and third world dont exist anymore. Open your eyes, it is all one big world and please stop perpetuating these stereotypes. And about the sledging, it is curious that it is acceptable to speak things on a cricket pitch, while the same things said in a pub would definitely be grounds for a bloody nose. Materazzi thought it was fine to do it...Zidane didnt...Now is the ICC waiting to see that happen on the cricket pitch before they act?
Sam Alachin, Bangalore, India
Another fine article, Simon. Presumably the unnamed England fielder who drives a Porsche addressed his remark to someone other than Tendulkar, Dravid, Ganguly or Kumble! Two reasons for that - one, it has been remarked upon earlier that all the "banter" mysteriously ceased when Dravid, Tendulkar and Ganguly were at the crease. Two - the cars that these gentlemen drive are probably un the same category. Tendulkar for one, famously has a Ferrari in his stable, and Ganguly was a millionaire before he ever stepped on to a cricket field.
Vikram, Bangalore, india