Before breakfast and travelling to Lord's this morning, Billy Bowden will turn to the scriptures for 15 to 30 minutes' inspiration on how he can lead a better life as a human being as well as an umpire. If he feels he has let himself down the previous day, that length of time will be doubled. His wife, Jenny, will then ensure that he has the relevant cereals and sweeteners to withstand a day in the middle and by 9am he will be assessing the prospects of play with Daryl Harper, his colleague, and all manner of officials. His first Test match at Headquarters will be a long but, he trusts, rewarding five days.

Bowden is officiating in his 47th Test, but his first at Lord's. He will do so in honour of his mother, Jeanette, who died three weeks ago. “I had to make certain I was prepared,” the New Zealander said yesterday. “I did not want to let Daryl down. The first hour will be difficult and there will be a few emotional moments. Mum was everything to me, whether I was involved in sport or academic work, and I am only glad she knew that I would be standing at Lord's.”

Bowden's preparation is meticulous. He was in bed last night by 11pm, ensuring that he had seven hours sleep, in a hotel room away from the traffic. He dislikes the taste of alcohol and drinks up to five 300ml bottles of water during a day's play. He eschews coffee, cola or any other form of caffeine. Definitely no Red Bull - “I am not K.P., I am hyper enough already” - and he will not have any liquids between 10.30am and the start of play, so that he does not have to go off the field to the lavatory. Superstitions? “None. I have my Christian faith to keep me strong,” he said.

Bowden's Christian beliefs, hidden in part beneath his sense of theatricality, give him the capacity to forgive just about everything and everyone on the pitch. His father, Marcus, is a clergyman and he does not dislike any cricketer - he simply grades them all in degrees of niceness, with Adam Gilchrist at the top. “I said to him that if he ever let me down, I would retire from Test cricket,” Bowden said. “I have never got into that situation with any other player. I believed in him because he earned my respect.”

His prime concern is sledging and to that end he would like to see yellow and red cards given a try. “Sledging was out of control for a few years,” he said. “The spirit of the game is just as important as the Laws and penalising players in this way would put pressure on their team-mates and captain. If we do not give it a go, we shall never know if it will work.”

Gilchrist, the Australia wicketkeeper who retired in March, is but one cricketer whose approach Bowden has logged down the years. If he is not familiar with any player - as he was not with Morne Morkel, the South Africa fast bowler, before this Test - he makes certain he attends net practice to familiarise himself with their action, whether they have a tendency to no-ball and what exactly they bowl. If he is unaware of the length of a fast bowler's run-up, he glances at the giant screen.

“There are certain tricks of the trade: umpires may appear as if they are scratching their necks or picking up something from the ground when in fact they are looking at the screen,” Bowden said. “But the crowd will generally let you know if you have made a wrong decision.”

All that will irk him today is if an MCC member has a go at him when he walks back through the Long Room. “The only time I want to be deaf is when I am criticised in that situation,” he said. “There is no point being obnoxious back, but there are times when I want to put counters in their hands.”

Billy Bowden is a member of the Emirates Elite Panel of ICC Umpires and Match Referees, sponsored by Emirates Airline - an official ICC partner.

Official dance moves

He is the umpire from New Zealand whose eccentric style of signals, such as a crooked finger for giving batsmen out, has made him famous. Here is The Times' six-step guide to how to do the Funky Bowden.

Step one: The dismissal Also known as “The Crooked Finger Of Doom”. Raise your right hand and extend the index finger with the tip turned at 90 degrees from the second knuckle.

Step two: The four Do a strutting walk, swinging your hips and sliding your right hand from side to side as if brushing crumbs off a table with the right side of your palm.

Step three: The six Start low, then gradually extend your body upwards, hopping on your left leg, right leg in front of you. Bring your hands above your head, leaning back as you do so, with crooked fingers pointing towards the sky.

Step four: The wide ball Stretch both arms out to the side, using jerking movements, with your thumb and last three fingers curled into a fist and the index finger extended, the tip pointing slightly downwards. Looks a bit like a vulture spreading its wings.

Step five: The television replay Cross your hands in front of your face, then draw them sharply apart, dropping them straight down and bringing them back in front of each other again, ending by twice crossing your hands at the bottom of the rectangle.

Step six: The drinks break Form your thumbs and forefingers into two “C” shapes, about six inches apart, tilt your head well back and mime pouring water from a flask down your throat.