IT HAS been a strange week, giddily surreal, like surfing on a wave of candyfloss. You realise that this is what it must be like to be a celebrity, buoyed up on a warm current of fluff, in constant fear that someone (we, the media) will turn off the air supply. Celebrity is not unlike infatuation, every bit as blinding as love but without the substance.

Certainly, we have been blinded by it and now David Beckham, football player and celebrity, can add another feather to his cap, that of kingmaker. Joan Laporta is president of Barcelona because he said that he could bring Beckham to the club.

Laporta yesterday cooled speculation about the deal when he said: “I did not promise to bring David Beckham to Barcelona. I said that I had an agreement with Manchester United that contained conditions. One of those conditions was that I became president of the club. I have now done that.”

Lluís Bassat, who came a poor second to Laporta, said: “We could do nothing against Beckham.” Bassat’s platform of good financial practice and an end to what has become a boom-and-bust cycle minus the boom, deserved support. But to no avail. We were all high on Beckham and it was impossible to have a sensible debate until we came down, and by then Laporta was president. In his victory speech he thanked everyone from his Mum and Dad to Johan Cruyff. Everyone, that is, except Beckham, to whom he owes his triumph.

When the Beckham circus comes to town everyone gets a piece of the action. It is as though Ford has announced it is going to build a new car plant in your city. With it comes jobs not only for car workers but all the ancillary and service industries — cafés, bars, taxi drivers, prostitutes and the like. Sportswriters are football’s ancillary workers and that is why we all love the Spice Boy. Thanks to him, my children shall have shoes this winter. If he signs for Barça, they will sleep in silk pyjamas.

On Sunday night, Laporta got a taste of what is in store should Beckham sign when he was confronted by a pack of British tabloid journalists. He was pursued by the hacks and had to be rescued by one of his staff. A columnist in El Mundo Deportivo wrote that he hoped Beckham did not come to Barcelona because “we will have to put up with having the British tabloids in the dressing-room”.

Barcelona, meanwhile, put themselves within reach of a place in the Uefa Cup, by beating Valencia 3-1. First, however, they have to defeat Celta Vigo, who have qualified for the Champions League. They must also pray that Real Madrid beat Athletic Bilbao, the other Uefa Cup contenders, a victory that would bring Real their 29th league title.

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