Being a football reporter is not all it is cracked up to be. Hanging around waiting for a player to tell you he is going to take each game as it comes is about as exciting as it gets. But once in a while something comes along that makes it all seem worthwhile — being sent to Stamford Bridge and getting paid to watch Chelsea lose, being sent to the World Cup finals and getting paid to watch Germany lose, or being sent to London’s West End to spend a day working in one of the WAGs’ boutiques.

The e-mail was short and sweet. My application for work experience in Better Half had been accepted by ITV, but did I mind waiting a week because Michelle Marsh, the glamour model noted for her “large, natural breasts”, was booked in before me? Marsh is a veteran of the reality TV scene and has appeared on X-Factor: Battle of the Stars and Trust Me, I’m a Beauty Therapist, so I was not about to make a fuss — especially because her credentials for being a WAG were established when she got engaged to Will Haining, the Oldham Athletic defender.

The instructions, when they arrived a week later, were clear: turn up on time, make sure you look smart and prepare to get your hands dirty. Like most viewers with a conscience, I had come across WAGs Boutique late at night when flicking between channels, but the general thrust of the programme appears to be that two groups of wives and girlfriends of football players set up shops and raise money for charity by flogging gear that they think women who want to be wives and girlfriends of football players would want to wear.

This being a reality TV show, there is also a phone vote and a final tomorrow, when the winning team and the winning WAG will be revealed. Bows, the shop where you can find Nicola T, the other half of Bobby Zamora, the West Ham United striker, behind the counter, was on course to triumph in the grand final until a late surge by Better Half, where Jadene Bircham rules the roost. If Barclays handed out an award for WAGs, Bircham would be manager of the month every month.

The former model, who is married to Marc, the Queens Park Rangers midfield player, is behind the till in Better Half when I arrive for work and as usual she is having to cope with a severe staffing crisis. Cassie Sumner, the former girlfriend of Michael Essien — depending on who you believe — has gone Awol, Heather Swan, the fiancée of Michael Chopra, is nowhere to be seen and Charlotte Mears is probably still in bed telling Jermain Defoe that he really is as good as Dimitar Berbatov.

After a brief introduction, I am sent to the storeroom to unpack boxes of £20 jeans and sort them into sizes. Twenty minutes later I am summoned to the shop floor by Elle Isaac, the 22-year-old girlfriend of the Crystal Palace winger, Paul Ifill, to try my hand at shifting some of the merchandise. Before you can say “Are you being served?” a 13-year-old schoolgirl from Rochdale is the proud owner of a pair of size ten jeans and I am shooting the breeze with Elle about Palace, living in Brighton and the size-zero debate.

“I hate being called a WAG,” Elle says. “Everyone is different and going out with a footballer doesn’t make you a certain kind of person.” I nod while Elle signs autographs and poses for pictures. “Everyone thinks that we spend our lives shopping in Sloane Street, but I buy my shoes in Barratts and I get the train and bus when I come to work.” Appearing on WAGs Boutique has been such a thrill that Elle is opening her own shop in Brighton in the summer. Romelle will stock the same kind of “affordable cutting-edge pieces” that fill the racks of Better Half — such as this vintage embroidered corset, perfect for a night out in Chinawhite, which Jadene has told me would look absolutely fabulous with skinny jeans and needs shifting at £85.

No takers for the corset. Apparently it is a bit risqué for the 12-year-old daughter of Mervyn Hill, who has brought his family from Cardiff for a half-term treat. “My girls are absolutely mad about the programme, but I’m not a big fan,” Hill said. “I’m a Cardiff City supporter, so I’ve got more important things to worry about.”

Jadene is not impressed with my selling skills and before long a message is passed to me from one of the production crew that my big moment has arrived. Seconds later I am behind the counter and within touching distance of the till. I am not allowed to touch it. Apparently it is a very complicated piece of kit, so I have to make myself useful by looking happy, folding clothes and putting them in carrier bags while Elle proves that some WAGs do have brains by managing to work the till, pose for pictures and sign autographs at the same time.

An hour later, I am allowed out for my lunch break. “Make sure you come back,” Jadene says. I head towards the Underground station and disappear.

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