THE TALKING head on America’s favourite sports network was almost beside herself. “The press conference of all press conferences,” she breathlessly declared. “Have you all ever seen anything like this?”

Well, yes. Obviously she had never seen one of boxing promoter Don King’s events. David Beckham might be a superstar, but there wasn’t one moment on Friday when you feared he might pull a Mike Tyson and threaten to eat someone’s children.

A few weeks ago, most Americans couldn’t have picked Beckham out of a police lineup. And, yes, his new neighbours in Beverly Hills probably think a yellow card is something their maid needs in order to work for them. But one thing they do know is celebrity. And the Hollywood marketing machine behind Beckham’s move to America knows a little something about creating hype.

That was more than evident the night before when Beckham’s arrival in Tinseltown took on all the trappings of a big Hollywood premiere. With Posh Spice by his side in oversized dark glasses and a team of security men in dark suits with wires coming out of their ears, they walked through Los Angeles International Airport as if they were on a giant red carpet.

Young women actually screamed in excitement, something not seen on this side of the pond for anything British since the Beatles came over more than four decades ago.

John, Paul, George and Ringo had good hair too, of course, which might suggest that Americans are suckers for Brits who know their way around a beauty shop. The difference is they had the music to back that up, while Beckham may not only be past his prime but plays a sport with which most here are quite unfamiliar.

Those tuning in on national television this week for Beckham’s debut in an exhibition match against Chelsea will soon find out what it’s all about. ESPN, which has a vested interest in promoting the great one because it holds rights to MLS matches, plans a three-hour pregame show worthy of the Super Bowl to introduce him.

Before that happens, the television network is using commercials featuring - what else? - the Beatles’ song Hello, Goodbye, complete with scenes of shattered English fans sadly watching him leave and Americans excitedly watching him play. “Say Hello, America,” is the slogan.

The fact that Beckham actually left England a few years back to play in Spain isn’t mentioned. There’s also no mention that he will still be playing for England’s national team even while he makes his untold millions kicking a ball for the very mediocre Los Angeles Galaxy.

Details like that just might confuse the issue. Besides, we’re selling celebrity here, and the main thing Americans need to know about Beckham is that he looks good, has a wife who looks even better, and that both are best friends forever with Tom and Katie.

Beckham did land on the cover of the country’s biggest sports weekly, Sports Illustrated. But it will be the covers on People Magazine and the constant attention paid by celebrity shows such as Inside Edition and Access Hollywood that will sell both Beckham and Posh.

If Beckham hopes to earn the kind of endorsement money that Tiger Woods makes - and so far he’s off to a good start - he will do it with his celebrity off the pitch, not his kicks on it. Far more Americans will see the bizarre, half-clothed pictures of the Becks in W Magazine than will ever tune in to watch him try to score against the Columbus Crew.

But although millions of young boys and girls play the sport and soccer moms crowd the supermarkets, the game has yet to evolve into a major spectator sport among the masses.

Beckham’s arrival will almost certainly have a short-term effect, filling stadiums with the curious and perhaps causing a blip in the television ratings. But if the great Pele himself couldn’t make Americans watch soccer in the 1970s, the odds are stacked against another import doing it 30 years later.

Changing demographics could help the cause, with the 45m or so Hispanics in the country much more interested in the sport than the general population. More people in the United States watched last year’s World Cup on television than ever before, and there is a hard-core soccer base who know of players who don’t have famous names like Beckham and Zidane.

But it will still be a tough sell in a country where soccer ranks fourth at best among top sports. Americans tend to like their sports long on action and short on strategy, and watching Colorado Rapids and Houston Dynamo play to a 0-0 draw might be enough to kill any momentum Beckham’s signing might spark. Tim Dahlberg is a sports columnist for the Associated Press

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