RAY CLEMENCE (Goalkeeper) The man who began his working life as a
deckchair attendant on Skegness beach could have unfolded one in the penalty
area at Anfield and kipped for 90 minutes, safe in the knowledge that the
tightest back four in English football history would keep the other lot at
bay. In 1978-79 Clemence kept 28 clean sheets as Liverpool gave up only 16
goals on their way to the Championship.
PHIL NEAL (Right back) He was an ever-present in that parsimonious
Liverpool rearguard of 1978-79 and also racked up notional fantasy points
with five goals in the season. Neal boasts one of the best goalscoring
records by any defender ever. He scored 60 for Liverpool, including many as
a steely-eyed penalty converter, making him a must-have in any all-time
top-flight fantasy XI.
PHIL THOMPSON (Central defender) The Kirkby Crusher completes a mighty
defensive triumvirate from Liverpool’s awesome late-Seventies side. That
trio of Reds would form an indomitable platform for this all-star side.
Thompson was another ever-present in that epochal 1978-79 season, promising
shoals of shut-outs for our historic fantasy side.
KENNY BURNS (CD) The Scot was the backbone of Brian Clough’s
Championship-winning 1977-78 team. That Nottingham Forest side was built on
defensive frugality and it was largely thanks to Burns and his defensive
pals that it went a record 42 games unbeaten in the first division. That
stood as a top-flight best until Arsène Wenger’s Arsenal came along. Burns
also chipped in with four goals.
ROGER BYRNE (Left back) The Busby Babes were rightly renowned as one of
the greatest attacking teams the country has seen. But they were hardly
powder-puffs at the back, either, with the tough-tackling Byrne. But Byrne
could score, too. When Matt Busby was short of forwards at the end of the
1951-52 season he slung the defender up front. Cue seven goals in six games
and United’s first title for 41 years. The Mancunian died at Munich.
ALAN BALL (Right midfield player) Ball, who died this year, was one of
the best attacking midfield players the game has seen. He scored well over
150 goals for Blackpool, Everton, Arsenal and Southampton - an astonishing
total in view of the amount of defending he did as well. In Everton’s
Championship-winning season of 1969-70 Ball was the top-scoring midfield
player, with ten goals.
DANNY BLANCHFLOWER (Central midfield player) The Irishman was the
creative genius behind the Double-winning Tottenham Hotspur team of 1960-61.
Blanchflower’s canny promptings from the middle of the field set up
countless goals - Spurs knocked in 115 in 42 games. Blanchflower would also
have totted up masses of fantasy points in what our American friends would
call the winningest team in top-flight history. The 31 victories Spurs
managed remains a record.
BOBBY CHARLTON (CM) There has to be a place in the team for Manchester
United’s greatest ever goalscorer. From 1956 to 1973 Charlton scored 199
league goals. He was the architect of so many United triumphs, as a member
of three great Busby teams - the Babes, the mid-Sixties side that won Cup
and League and its late-Sixties successor, which won League and European
Cup.
GEORGE DRUMMOND (Left midfield player) When it comes to picking
sure-fire fantasy performers, you can’t overlook The Invincibles. Preston
North End earned that sobriquet by winning the inaugural first division
without losing a game in 1888-89. Drummond was a key member of the team and
played centre forward, wing half and even in goal as well as at outside
left.
DIXIE DEAN (Forward) Dean was the deadliest goalscorer England has ever
produced. From 1923 to 1937 he hit the target 379 times for Tranmere Rovers,
Everton and Notts County. You would certainly have wanted him in your
fantasy team for the 1927-28 season, when Dean scored 60 in 39 games, just a
year after smashing his skull in a motorcycle crash. Dixie was nails.
JIMMY GREAVES (F) On stats alone, Greaves is unsurpassed as a forward
in the postwar period. No one has topped his tally of 357 top-flight goals,
scored in the service of Chelsea, Tottenham Hotspur and West Ham United. He
still holds the goals in a season record mark for Chelsea and Spurs and
remains Tottenham’s most prolific forward since the club were formed. Could
he have passed more? Yes. But why would you want him to?
History’s fantasy nightmare
BRIAN WILLIAMSON (GK) Fulham fielded a careless handful of goalkeepers
in 1968-69 on the way to finishing last in the first division. They let in
98 and Williamson was the leakiest of the hapless custodians. The 2.357
goals a game he conceded make him a goalkeeper to avoid.
WINSTON FOSTER (RB) The Birmingham City team of 1964-65 was one of the
most inept the top flight has witnessed. Local lad Foster is singled out as
the only ever-present. The club history immortalises him as “long-legged and
awkward looking”.
ALAN DODD (CD) Wolverhampton Wanderers were a gruesome side in 1983-84,
finishing rock bottom with just six wins. Dodd, an otherwise blameless
yeoman, played 41 league games in a criminally flimsy defence that let in 80
goals.
PERCY SANDS (CD) Woolwich Arsenal’s class of 1912-13 was one of the
worst teams ever to stink up the first division. They won only three matches
all season, a mark yet to be lowered. Sands played 28 games in their wobbly
rearguard.
BILLY COOK (LB) In a pre-First World War game, Cook, of Oldham
Athletic, was sent off against Middlesbrough, but refused to leave the field
- a stand that earned him a one-year ban. So not many fantasy points from
Billy that season.
MARK CHAMBERLAIN (RM) Perhaps the least effective Chamberlain to
represent England since Neville (no relation) at Munich in 1938. He was a
midfield lynchpin in the awful Stoke City team of 1984-85, arguably the
worst top-flight outfit in living memory, scoring only 24 goals.
RAY WILKINS (CM) Butch’s deeplying, square-passing tactical approach
would have made him naff-all use as a fantasy player. When it came to
setting up goals, he couldn’t assist an old lady across the road.
TERRY HURLOCK (CM) The Millwall maniac’s abysmal disciplinary rap sheet
would have made him a gross liability as a fantasy choice. Even when he
wasn’t suspended, Hurlock offered a threadbare scoring record.
WILLIE JOHNSTON (LM) The West Bromwich Albion wide man stands supreme
as the worst-behaved footballer in the annals of ill-discipline. His 21
career sendings off make him a phenomenon of recidivism, and a fantasy
no-no.
CHARLIE NICHOLAS (F) A big-money signing for Arsenal, he would cost any
unsuspecting fantasy manager dear if they put him in their team. A measly 54
goals in 184 games for the North London side tells its own sad statistical
story.
GARRY BIRTLES (F) You wouldn’t kick him out of your team on his
Nottingham Forest form, but what if you signed the Manchester United Birtles
by mistake? The bearded blunderer scored only 12 in 64 games in a woeful Old
Trafford career.
WHO ARE YOUR FANTASY HEROES WHO NEVER WERE? E-MAIL:
SPORT@TIMESONLINE.CO.UK
