Neil Gardner
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Do we have snipers in the stands? Are players really susceptible to the one-inch punch? And are ear infections on the rise in football?
Last night AC Milan goalkeeper Dida took a tumble after the merest contact with a Celtic supporter. While the behaviour of the fan was inexcusable, shouldn't we also question the actions of the Brazilian? Did he really need a stretcher and ice pack after his goalmouth tickle?
Here we consider the long history of on-pitch theatrics - some call it diving...
Dida himself has previous in this department, as this clip of him being injured by a flare during the Champions League quarter-final with Inter Milan shows.
This time he initially gave chase to the intruder before throwing himself to the floor, and was carried off on a stretcher holding an ice pack to his face.
In tribute to his drama skills we uncover some of the past masters of subterfuge and deception. Players who have no qualms at faking injury to get their fellow professionals sent off, who risk life and limb to impress officials with their gymnastic skills, and a couple who, quite frankly, need a bit of practice.
The grandaddy of all conmen must be the Chilean goalkeeper Robert Rojas who attempted to get a 1989 World Cup qualifier with Brazil abandoned. With Chile facing certain defeat and elimination, Rojas pretended to be hit by a firework thrown from the crowd by slashing himself with a concealed razor blade and was carried bleeding from the pitch, causing the game to be stopped and inciting a mini-riot inside the stadium. Sadly for Rojas, his cunning plan was caught on camera and he was banned from football for life.
Jurgen Klinsmann appeared to spend more time rolling on the turf than actually playing in the 1990 World Cup in Italy, inspiring Ron Atkinson to claim he hadn't seen a "mystery sniper" in the crowd following another piece of Klinsmann theatrics. But this reaction to a Pedro Monzón challenge in the World Cup Final, for which the Argentina defender received a straight red card, is a gymnastic masterclass, with the German striker pirouetting in mid-air as if he had been electrocuted.
Italians have proved themselves to be past masters at conning officials, and Fabio Grosso's superior dive not only won a last minute penalty for his side, but it also spelled curtains for Australia at the 2006 World Cup.
However, Grosso's international colleague Alberto Gilardino clearly has a lot to learn, judging by this risible effort to win a spot-kick for AC Milan.
But the most notorious piece of World Cup gamesmanship occured in the 1998 semi-final when Croatian hardman Slaven Bilic ruined Laurent Blanc's tournament by acting like a complete cissy. Still, at least it worked.
Certainly more so than this pathetic piece of play-acting by Brazil's Rivaldo which rebounded spectacularly on him during this World Cup match with Turkey.
And just in case anyone should claim that the Premier League is exempt, Arjen Robben, the former Chelsea winger, had a well deserved reputation for reacting rather spectacularly to tackles. However, he pulled off this over-the-top attempt to successfully get Pepe Reina, the Liverpool goalkeeper, sent off, with aplomb.
When he became Germany manager Klinsmann favoured Jens Lehmann over the vastly experienced Oliver Kahn as national goalkeeper. Surely it wasn't for these petulant antics the Arsenal stopper displayed against Bolton Wanderers?
But at least Newcastle United's Steven Taylor has the good grace to look highly embarassed as his rather blatant dying swan act failed to hoodwink the referee.
And finally, should Marco Materazzi's reaction to Zinedine Zidane's headbutt be included? You decide.
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