Alyson Rudd, Commentary
2 for 1 tickets to Casablanca, this coming Monday

Imagine you are sitting on a train opposite a man and his seven-year-old son. The boy is trying to colour in an elephant. He likes purple. “Don’t be a bloody idiot, elephants don’t have purple ears,” the father bawls. The train judders and the boy’s crayon slips. “What a mess. You’re useless, you’re not listening. Keep. It. Neat.”
You may wonder if you should phone social services, yet this kind of public humiliation occurs every weekend up and down the land at children’s football games. In fact, the behaviour of parents has become so unacceptable that some youth leagues are experimenting with plastic perimeter fencing to keep the adults away from the children and the officials. The game may be split as to whether this is a long-term solution, but not over whether there is a need for a solution to be found.
Last month, Ray Ward, the secretary of Surrey County FA, sent the youth clubs affiliated to his organisation a letter that smacked of desperation. Too many matches - 12 in Surrey this season – have been abandoned because of abuse from adults. The children had been well behaved, but the same could not be said of their parents. Ward said the reports made for “sickening” reading.
Last season, a parent physically assaulted a referee’s assistant during an under15 Surrey County Cup match. The game was abandoned, the police charged the parent and he was fined £1,000, ordered to pay £300 to the official and £150 in costs. “Today I have received an almost identical report,” Ward writes.
According to Mark Wood, Ward’s deputy, it is by far the worst season for abandonments in the past five years. He would like to see more highly qualified referees taking charge of matches (often they are overseen by a coach or parent who is not qualified), but the climate of parent nastiness means fewer people are keen to sign up.
“We have trained a number of teenage referees,” Wood said. “One was a 15-year-old girl, but she was the subject of such abusive and foul language that she has given up.” No doubt she thought that refereeing a seven-a-side match involving eight or nine-year-olds would be an enjoyable way to gain experience. But it is matches involving younger children that brings out the worst in adults. Several Surrey Youth League referees have taken to printing photocopies of Ward’s letter and handing them to parents before kick-off in an attempt to shame them into better behaviour.
Why are some touchline parents so dreadful? Mike Fellows, the discipline manager at the Birmingham County FA, blames the competitive culture. “Mini-soccer was supposed to be about coaching, not competition,” he said. “But parents started pushing for cups and trophies and they want to win them at all costs. They are ruining the game for the kids.”
Richard Bailey, Professor of Pedagogy at Roehampton University in southwest London, said: “There is a poisonous culture in youth football. There is an element of truth in the theory that parents are living vicariously through their children. Parents who were good at sport are not the problem, it is those who didn’t perform well. But it is worth noting that we don’t get the bad behaviour in rugby or cricket or tennis. Abusing the referee is almost like a tradition. It is part of the culture of football.”
Keith Harris, chairman of the Wigan Youth League, came up with the idea of roping off one side of a pitch to keep parents away from their offspring and the officials. “I was chatting to a colleague about parents and said, as a joke, that we should fence them all in,” Harris said. “He said it was a good idea. We had ten to 15 games a season being abandoned because of adults being abusive, so we had to do something.”
It seems to have worked. In the first season of using plastic fencing, two matches were abandoned because of touchline behaviour; in the second, two more games failed to be completed, but because of players not supporters; and, this season, one game has been abandoned so far, but, again, not because of parents.
Michael McCourt, a Wigan Youth League referee, calls the fencing “brilliant, superb. We have a lot of young referees and it protects them,” he said.
Other leagues have followed suit and, this season, the Stourbridge Youth League decided that all clubs must erect plastic posts with ropes up to six metres away from the touchline. Coaches must stand on the opposite touchline and no one is allowed to stand behind the goals.
However, Bailey is less enthusiastic about the fencing. “It is a short-term strategy that mirrors adult football,” he said. “But this isn’t adult football. Children’s football is supposed to be different. It is there to promote certain sporting values.”
He argues that the way to curb touchline overenthusiasm would be for the FA to change the rules so that a referee could award a free kick against the team supported by a parent who issues abuse.
Brian Barwick, the FA chief executive, has said that it is his ambition that behaviour improves at youth games. He may have had to alter his priorities after sacking the England head coach, but an urgent need for action remains.
Enjoy screenings of all the classic films you love.
Have you ever dreamed of owning your own racehorse or a beautiful painting?
Enjoy comfort, safety, space and great design. Plus enter our great competition
Allow Times Online TV show, Perfect Pets help you make the the right pet decisions
Are you California dreaming? Explore the wonders of the Golden State. Also enter our fantastic competition
Do you have what it takes to be a Times photographer?
Your brain is capable of more than you might think...
Find out to make the most of your money with our wealth management guides
Need help with your property? We have an entire how to guide - buying, selling, letting, moving, to help you
We are seeking entries for the inaugural Sunday Times Best Green Companies Awards
Enjoy some wonderful inspiring wildlife moments
An interactive preview of the brand new For Your Eyes Only exhibition

Love Sudoku? Play our brand new interactive game: with added functionality and daily prizes

Are you irritable when you return from work? Drained of emotion? You could be suffering from boreout
Prepare for some shock and awe, petrol lovers. Despite the greens trying to wipe it out, the car is about to offer us the most exciting year ever
We've trawled the brochures and websites to find this summer’s best holidays for every taste and budget

Will your team win their match this weekend?

Make sure you don’t miss a goal with our text alerts

Direct from the farms

in The Sunday Times, Times and Times Online
2007/07
£57,500
South East England
2007/07
£40,995
South East England
2006/06
£41,995
South East England
Great car insurance deals online
£40-55k+benefits+uncapped commission
Morgan Keating
South East
£60k plus excellent benefits
Barclaycard
Stockton / Northampton
£
£55,000 - £75,000 plus bonus and benefits
Diligenta
Based in Peterborough
£45,000 - £70,000 plus bonus and benefits
Diligenta
Based in Peterborough
Globrix, the property search engine
Visit Times Online Property for homes for sale or rent
Residential development site with planning permission
£1,500,000
Mortgages, bank accounts & money transfers to help you buy abroad
Dinarobin Hotel Golf & Spa 7 nights
From £1830 per person – saving £530.
Walking & multi-activity holidays in Cauterets. Stylish self-catering apartments.
From 350€ for 7 nights.
Walt Disney World Resort Florida SALE!
From £619 per person!
Great travel insurance deals online
Contact our advertising team for advertising and sponsorship in Times Online, The Times and The Sunday Times. Search globrix.com to buy or rent UK property.
© Copyright 2008 Times Newspapers Ltd.
This service is provided on Times Newspapers' standard Terms and Conditions. Please read our Privacy Policy.To inquire about a licence to reproduce material from Times Online, The Times or The Sunday Times, click here.This website is published by a member of the News International Group. News International Limited, 1 Virginia St, London E98 1XY, is the holding company for the News International group and is registered in England No 81701. VAT number GB 243 8054 69.
I think it's terrible that parents in the UK are getting violent. We never see parents do that here at youth games! Good idea that plastic bubble though. In theory it must be like watching television. In the US, we have a more casual manner about our soccer - it's the youth hockey games where parents have started killing parents. I'll give the barriers about two more years before you start to see that happening. In all seriousness, the root is in a parent's value of human experience. Quality clubs here are now requiring that parents sign contracts from the start which if violated, removes their child from club participation. When parents can see that their actions are more important than reactions, they stand a chance of letting their own children experience the game for themselves. Personally, while my parents were absent for 99 percent of my career, I'm relived I never had to experience my alcoholic father shouting directions at me on the pitch.
carroll, Springfield, MA
my kids team are top of their small sided soccer league, they want to win the league because they believe they can, and from what I have seen they are good enough, they are all enjoying their football. They also enjoy winning, this report says that its not just about winning, my kids are winning, learning and are happy. Last weekend there was a complaint about our ref which we provided, I offered the other team the chance to use their own ref for the 2nd half, it didn't get anywhere near nasty, but it perhaps could have done. The point was, it was a good game of football, but the other teams supporters/dads moaning about our ref was witnessed by all the kids obviously, and we wonder why footballers moan about refs decisions in later years!
leif garrett, london, UK
If kids don't go to school the parents end up doing the time. Reverse the role with football so if parents do the crime, make the kids do the time. Parents will soon get the message. If not from their kid, certainly from the rest of the team and the other parents when their team has to play a man down!
LT, London, UK
An amazing report, but not that surprising. It's yet another example of people in meltdown. How long before something really serious happens? As for awarding a free-kick to the opposition, in the event of parental abuse, get real. I doubt that will stop an out-of-control parent from being abusive.
Potential miscreants should be made aware of the legal/financial consequences of their acts. Along with forfeiting the match, one would presume. Whilst it's hard on the kids, there'll be no disguising which are the ratbag parents.
Peter Koeb, Geneva, Switzerland
The best way to rid kids football of abusive parents is not to allow the parents near the pitch.
Once children are nine or ten they actually enjoy heading off together to a match without parents in tow. God, imagine always feeling you're on stage, eh? A muck up in front of your mates is a bit of a giggle, in front of your parents, it's embarrassing.
I'd say: have a parents' day once a term, when they can come and watch the kids play.
But for the rest: tell them to b***er off and play in an adults' game, go and have a cup of tea in the local cafe or pop into town with the missus to do some shopping.
Leave an HSE inspector there if you're that paranoid...........
Course, if your dad was Frank Lampard, Harry Redknapp or Stevie G, it might be worth having them cast their eyes over you occasionally, eh?
Rhys Jaggar, Leeds,
Maybe some football parents should try to come along to my seven year old son's rugby union practice and games on a Sunday morning. I am not even a rugby fan (Liverpool and football has always been my sport) but to see the parents being nothing but supportive and appreciative of their children, even to me it is a good feeling. Before anyone thinks to label me either I am not a 'toff' or by any means posh, it's just a sport my son liked the look of and decided to give it a try.
The children even in the under 8's are well behaved and respect the coaches and the referee's decision without even a word of dissent, and because of, and not in spite of this, the parents do the same.
David Gore, Liverpool, UK
All good points to consider for the betterment of football. I live in the States and we have the luxury of having Ian Bishop (Mancity, West Ham) training my son as well as all of the age groups for the Delray Beach Soccer Club. He's contributed greatly to the skills and attitudes of our young players. I've seen adults sent off, coaches sent off but never have I seen a match abandoned. The play must go on regardless of the needless needling of spectators. Just look at Sir Alex, the game went on but the thought of abandoning a match must not be an option. Here, the players and coaches are on one side and the spectators are on another and the two do not mingle during the game. At a game in West Sussex this summer I saw far too much meddling and perhaps this practise of keeping the players and parents segregated on separate touchlines should be employed.
Stephen L. Cawthon, Boynton Beach, USA/Florida