I have to admit I was feeling jittery. All day, as part of the build-up to England’s New Dawn, Radio 5 Live broadcast that rare snippet of Fabio Capello speaking in English. “I have wanted this job for a long time,” the baritone of the England manager boomed out. He sounded sinister even without the tales of him placing a ban on knock-knock jokes and insisting on addressing the players by their surnames.

As news emerged of meals taken in imposed silence, I wondered who got the giggles first. Not head-boy Gerrard, obviously. Maybe he kicked Ferdinand under the table to make him squeal and thereby ensure the captaincy was his.

It was clear that the Match of the Day team had not considered wearing flip-flops in defiance. Instead they wore sober suits and sedate ties — even Ian Wright. There was footage of Capello scoring in a tight blue Italian shirt with Morcheeba’s Wonders Never Cease as the backing track. Clever, that. The person who chose the music could be saying either it is a miracle that a man of such stature has chosen to manage England or that it is unbelievable we need to accept help from a foreigner.

You have to hand it to Ray Stubbs, though. He interviewed Capello and not only kept the fear out of his voice but dared to speak Italian. Capello did not bother to try English. Stubbs also managed to keep the disappointment out of his voice. Piqued, Gary Lineker daringly thanked “Stubbsio”, but Wright, of all people, reminded him about the rules of the New Dawn — no nicknames.

Wright was sitting alongside Alan Shearer and Alan Hansen, pundits who, according to Lineker, “know their Fabio Capello from their Marti Pellow”. And that takes talent. Pellow is a touchy-feely crooner of love songs — which is very nearly how I was going to describe the new England manager.

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