Joe Lovejoy’s end-of-season awards

Best interview Derby County manager Paul Jewell. ‘What are you doing here, Joe? My lot are crap - they can’t play’

Worst interview: Gabby Agbonlahor of Aston Villa. Forgot the appointment, then made a gallant attempt on the world ‘D’you know what I mean?’ record

Surely some mistake Fabio Capello. ‘David Beckham can be our Cristiano Ronaldo’ (check the translation, ed) Manager of the season Sir Alex Ferguson

Luckiest manager of the season Gareth Southgate (Middlesbrough)

Best chairman Steve Gibson of Middlesbrough (see above)

Worst chairman Thaksin Mandaric, or should it be Milan Shinawatra?

Best team performance Milan 0 Arsenal 2

Worst team performance Middlesbrough 8 Manchester City 1

Gobsmacking team performance Havant & Waterlooville leading twice at Anfi eld in the FA Cup

Gobsmacking individual performance Cristiano Ronaldo, any day with a ‘y’ in it

Best buy Fernando Torres (Liverpool)

Worst buy Rolando Bianchi (Man City)

Welcome back West Bromwich Albion. A smashing club, playing ‘proper” football’.

Tin hats, Mr Mainwaring! Stoke City’s doodlebug approach will give opposing centre-halves headaches, and the rest of us cricked necks

Magnum ‘bottle’ award: Frank Lampard, for that penalty against Liverpool

Delia Smith ‘Where Are Ya?’ award Wigan Athletic. Fewer than 15,000 for one game recently. Do they really want Premier League football in a rugby league town?

Best fans Derby County. Such devotion, watching rubbish.

Best decision Upholding the 15-point penalty on Leeds for trying to circumvent the rules on administration

Good riddance Steve McClaren, and those well-rehearsed press briefi ngs on his doorstep

The Sinclair C5 memorial prize Richard Scudamore’s ‘39th game’ in Timbuktu

Explore Football

• Premier League

• Football League

• Scotland

• European Football

• International Football

• TheGame

• Live Match Tracker

• The Fink Tank

• Fantasy Football