A New Mexico defender has been suspended indefinitely by her soccer team for her violent conduct on the pitch. The antics of Elizabeth Lambert are at a YouTube near you and I defy anyone not to need to watch the clip at least four times.

During the semi-finals of the Mountain West Conference Championship Lambert scythed and hacked at her opponents as if starring in a parody of Leeds United circa 1971. The piece de resistance comes when Lambert yanks at the ponytail of Brigham Young University’s Kassidy Shumway Shunway is fortunate that her neck remains attached to her body. A match commentator is heard to utter: “That is unbelievable, that’s what that is.”

For many, the unbelievable part is that a young woman should behave so thuggishly. Lambert behaves in the worst tradition of ‘ladette’ culture which sees girls ape drunk or dim boys - only with less class. For me the unbelievable part is that Lambert was permitted to go on her rampage without anyone noticing – until the 77th minute when she received a caution. Her opponents sort of accept her behaviour, her team do not appear surprised and the officials are seemingly unable to process the information in front of their eyes.

If only Sir Alex Ferguson had been the Brigham guest manager for the day. Sir Alex expects referees to be in the right place, to the inch, at the right time, every time there is an incident and makes no allowances for any error nor indeed for the fact referees are restricted by the laws of physics as much as any player. Even the good ones.

I suggest he watch the footage of Lambert if only as a reminder that while Premier League officials do not catch every detail, they do see most of what happens. And most of what happens is desperately subtle compared to this soccer game.

“My actions were uncalled for," Lambert said. "I let my emotions get the best of me in a heated situation." This would be an appropriate apology had Lambert fleetingly seen the red mist. It is quite a ludicrous way to explain an entire match’s worth of illegal challenges.

Lambert was quickly labelled The World’s Most Dangerous Soccer Player. Maybe she will sue the officials for allowing her to commit so many fouls. Maybe she should.

The return of Eddie the Eagle

The first cold day in London of the autumn turns thoughts to the Winter Olympics which will be underway in three months time. The Winter Games fail, on the whole, to burrow into the psyche of the British. If you conducted a mass word association experiment I bet that upon hearing the words ‘ski jumper’ 36 per cent would utter ‘woolly’ and the rest ‘Eddie the Eagle.’

But fear not, Michael Edwards is revered the world over and will carry the Olympic flame in Winnipeg in January. The Toronto Sun calls him the Olympics’ most beloved loser.

“I had no money, no training, no snow,” Edwards said. Which is one of the best sporting quotes of all time. We should all try a little Eagle-style thinking from time to time. Too often I let the fact I cannot afford a yacht and do not know how to sail one deter me from setting my sights on a gold medal in yngling.

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