HAD you stepped into the intimate world of Classique Lingerie in Portsmouth on Thursday with your eye on a pair of big knickers and a thong in your heart, you would have been rocked by the roar of the Pompey Chimes echoing around the boutique.

The music is usually more refined, but Heather Emery, the owner, had just popped down to the Portsmouth club shop and bought The Season So Far on DVD for her son and couldn’t wait until she got home. She’s more than just a supporter, she is also on the lookout to promote her shop. What better than combining business with passion and sponsoring a player?

So there in the programme alongside the smiling face of Jason Crowe, the sprightly wing back, is the logo of Classique Lingerie. Why Jason? He was the only one left when they applied to sponsor a player last season. For £400 (plus VAT) the sponsor pays for the kit, gets the name in the programme, enjoys hospitality in the VIP suite two games a season and eats, drinks and rubs shoulders with Fratton celebs. All the player of choice has to do is turn up once a season to sign a shirt and have his picture taken shaking hands.

Harry Redknapp, the manager, also has a sponsor, the Bluebell Nursing Home in Southsea. After Monday’s defeat against Sheffield United he was said to be utterly devastated so he might be tempted to borrow a room for a lie-down. Perhaps he will take Paul Merson with him. He is also pretty fed up.

Poor Merse was got at during the game by impatient fans and said: “It was disappointing because I have never been booed at any time in my career. I tried to play a few passes that didn’t come off but if the fans want me to I can play five-yard balls all day.”

It’s certainly true that Merson has been off the pace since a Sheffield Wednesday player stamped on his ankle in November. Until then he had been like Legolas, the archer in The Lord of the Rings, shooting passes like arrows around the ground, totally destroying the opposition. Even if he has lost some of that braggadocio, he is still the most intelligent player on the pitch.

Shocking, really, how fickle the crowd can be, but then the side has won only one game in the past eight. Some fans are more tolerant, not least Merson’s own sponsor, Grant Cameron, the managing director of Concurrent Design Group, which produces computer-aided designs for engineering firms. It will take more than a few duff games to dampen his enthusiasm for the player.

Grant, a supporter for 27 years, said: “I think he slipped a bit when he started wearing those gloves. He is still a class player and he was magic for the first 20 games. He was the one who gave us the winning touch.”

For Concurrent there is a marketing bonus. “It is a small investment but we get our name in the programme and Merson is a good name to be linked with,” Grant said. It’s irresistible really, buying into a little touch of stardust.

Giuseppe Mascia is the owner of the Pizza House Restaurant and sponsors Vincent Pericard, the French-born, Italian-speaking striker on loan from Juventus. Signor Mascia, a voluble Sardinian whose English is as impenetrable as it was 26 years ago when he warmed his first bowl of pasta in Portsmouth, is unashamedly star-struck.

“The chairman, Milan Mandaric, is a good friend of mine,” he said. “He is often coming in here, such a kind man, so committed to the club. He is unique. He is always inviting me to the directors’ box. He asked me to sponsor Vincent because we speak Italian and he thought it would be nice for him..

“He’s a nice boy. I give him free drinks — only soft ones, of course — and deliver pizza and pasta to his flat. I like giving him treats like coffees, Christmas cake and ice-cream.”

Back in the silky environs of Classique Lingerie, Heather Emery is rather more pragmatic. She has yet to meet her trophy player and he certainly hasn’t been in her shop but being part of the scene has done wonders for her networking with local businesses and lots of the women at the club have bought her gear.

Even the supporters’ club sponsors a player and last year to raise funds auctioned off Dave Beasant’s gear. One fanatic even paid good money for his socks. But usually they are discerning types and talk on Monday wasn’t so much that Merson had played badly but that Harry had used the wrong formation and should give Merse a rest. Anyone got the number for the Bluebell Nursing Home?

More from ’Arry’s Bargain Basement. After last week’s frenzy in which three new players were signed on loan, Yakubu Ayegbeni, the Nigeria striker, is on the bench today against Brighton and Hove Albion. He is already being hailed as an “exciting new signing” but has yet to kick a ball.

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