Graphic: Three of a kind

Manchester United coasted into the knockout stages of the Champions League with two matches and a whole lot of fuel to spare. It comes to something when an entirely comfortable victory is something of an anticlimax, but such is United’s superiority in this group that it was almost a disappointment to see them stop at four.

United were efficient rather than irresistible, steady rather than scintillating, yet still tore Dynamo Kiev to shreds. With better finishing it could have been a repeat of Liverpool’s eight-goal triumph over Besiktas at Anfield on Tuesday night. United had 23 shots, not that overexertion was required.

Liverpool may have needed to put on a show after a poor start in this European campaign, but United had already made their point by getting into a position in which qualification was as good as assured after three matches. Technically, it was still possible for United to be pipped at the post by either Sporting Lisbon or AS Roma before this but logically it was never going to happen. Qualification was as great a certainty as death and taxes; as certain as victory last night.

There was a time when a pairing with Kiev would send a shiver of trepidation through even the best of Europe; not any more. Kiev came to Old Trafford with a man-for-man marking system, five at the back, four in midfield and only Artem Milevskiy up front. It was mind-numbing stuff and, fortunately, got them nowhere. Kiev were two goals down by half-time and conceded two more in the last 15 minutes to give a proper sense of distance to the scoreline. Oleg Luzhny, the Kiev coach late of Arsenal – although Arsène Wenger would have blushed at his tactics – may have been better off starting with Sergei Rebrov. He made a difference coming on at half-time and Kiev launched the odd counter-attack, forcing one save from Tomasz Kuszczak, but by then the game was long over.

So utterly in charge were United that the response to the win was almost muted, polite applause rather than the deafening cheer that would once have been standard for a result of this magnitude. Wayne Rooney claimed that the team were bored during the game, such was Kiev’s lack of ambition, and maybe that could be advanced as mitigation for the number of misses, although Carlos Tévez must have been almost comatose to judge from the number of times he transgressed.

In the 57th minute, after good work from Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo, Tévez was presented with a golden opportunity, unmarked in the penalty area, the goal beckoning and time on his hands. Not as much time as he wanted, however, and he was caught before offering a shot. Soon afterwards, quicker to make up his mind, he was kept at bay by Alexander Shovkovskiy, the Kiev goalkeeper, as was Daniel Simpson, the right back, from the rebound. Fortunately, United were home and hosed before then. Once Gerard Piqué, the central defender, had opened the scoring in the 30th minute, there was only one possible outcome. Ronaldo swung in a free kick from the right, Michael Carrick met it with a header that struck Tévez on the back of the skull, fortuitously rebounding only as far as Piqué, who headed it powerfully back across goal into the Kiev net. On the bench, Luzhny looked perplexed. A penalty area full of defenders, three United headers – including one by accident – and still none of his men could get near?

There was little improvement before half-time. In the 34th minute, Nani took a quick corner while the Kiev team were enjoying a mental tea-break. Ronaldo collected the ball and sped towards goal but took just a second too long before shooting and was charged down. From the resulting corner, Nani found Nemanja Vidic, who steered his header narrowly wide.

It was a matter of time before United added a second; two more minutes to be precise. Tévez won the ball inside United’s half – heaven knows what Kiev were doing there – and strode purposefully towards goal, exchanging a smart one-two with Rooney before firing past Shovkovskiy.

Only formalities remained. Ferguson replaced Edwin van der Sar with Kuszczak at half-time – to be fair, as captain in the absence of Gary Neville, Rio Ferdinand and Ryan Giggs, the Dutchman’s first-half duties had been largely ceremonial – and, by the end, United’s XI were pitched somewhere between an easy Barclays Premier League home game and the Carling Cup. It did not stop the goals coming, though – and it was no surprise that the only remaining world-class forwards scored them.

In the 75th minute, Rooney slotted in a cross by Nani and, with three minutes remaining, a fine pass by Patrice Evra sent Ronaldo away, the Portuguese cutting in before striking a beautiful curling shot. It was the goal of the night and may even have curtailed Rooney’s boredom for a moment.

After Arsenal’s seven and Liverpool’s eight-goal victories had rewritten the Champions League record books, maybe the supporters were expecting parity. A tad optimistic, perhaps, considering that Kiev kept ten men behind the ball at all times, but then expectations will be high when United persist with an aggressive gate policy that makes the purchase of tickets for cup matches compulsory, whether the season ticket-holder has any intention of attending or not.

It was not the fault of United that the game was predictable; after all, this club under Ferguson as good as authored the manual on high-risk, attacking football, but one can see why the locals sometimes appear hard to please. With opponents as unambitious as this, no wonder the Glazers are having to throw the punters in.

Group F

Manchester United (4-4-2): E van der Sar (sub: T Kuszczak, 46min) – D Simpson, G Piqué (sub: J Evans, 72), N Vidic, P Evra – C Ronaldo, D Fletcher, M Carrick, Nani – C Tévez (sub: L Saha, 67), W Rooney.

Dynamo Kiev (5-4-1): A Shovkovskiy – M Markovic, V Feboriv, V Vaschuk, P Diakhate, B El Kaddouri – O Gusev (sub: Diogo Rincon, 46), C Corrêa, T Ghioane, R Rotan (sub: S Rebrov, 46) – A Milevskiy (sub: I Bangoura, 77).