2 for 1 at Pizza Express

After the fireworks of the previous manager’s departure, Chelsea’s season has been characterised by a succession of nervous disorders. There was the borderline hysteria of the sacking, resignation, mutual hate-in; the mind-numbing catatonia of some of the more leaden games; the occasional bout of paranoia as key players like Didier Drogba and Frank Lampard edged closer to the exit; and finally the resentment — shaded with psychotic loathing — that surrounds an impending two-legged cup-tie with Liverpool. You could have blinked and missed the moments of ecstasy and yet, here we are, still in contention for as many trophies as this season’s outstanding team, Manchester United.
Resentment because these Chelsea and Liverpool teams — so expensively assembled and, however much some would deny it, so similar in terms of playing ethos — have consistently failed to produce anything worth watching since Chelsea sprayed four past their opponents at Anfield in 2005. A representative title from the forum threads on CFCnet, best of the Chelsea supporters’ forums, reads: “This time, Liverpool must die.” A narrow win defined by a did-it-didn’t-it goal would not be enough. If Avram Grant can conjure a fightback to effectively end Arsenal’s title challenge and jockey Chelsea into contention, surely he’s capable of putting this Liverpool side out of a competition that, more than any other, has enabled Rafael Benítez to continue drawing his handsome salary.
This time around, the mind games might be a little more one-sided. At least in Grant Chelsea have a first-team coach able to take a step back from the posturing. We can’t envisage him pressing the button marked “snarky” to point out the tasteless fare his opposite number serves up. Not that he’d need to: I’m sure the fans will take great pleasure in reminding their counterparts just how far they’ve come in terms of Premier League success.
The decisions Grant needs to make will be dictated, of course, by the availability of players like Drogba, Lampard and Michael Ballack. Drogba, in particular, needs to be reminded that — summer move to Inter Milan or not — when you have an opportunity to shine, it should be grasped. With Michael Essien suspended, Lampard and Ballack need to hit the ground running.
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