Less than 48 hours before his doting mother’s funeral, which took place on Friday, Frank Lampard drove Chelsea towards their first Champions League final with the sort of goal that made her so proud. Self-confessed “mummy’s boy” he may have been, but nobody will ever doubt the manliness of “Lamps”. Emotionally still in pieces after Pat Lampard’s death 10 days ago, aged 58, the England midfielder returned to the Chelsea team for the most important match in the club’s history in inspirational fashion. Not only did he, in harness with Michael Ballack, give Chelsea the edge against Steven Gerrard and company, he insisted on taking the penalty that tipped the balance.

The Germans are the world’s best at such things, and with Ballack having scored Chelsea’s winner against Manchester United from the spot only four days earlier, it took “balls of steel”, as Didier Drogba put it, for Lampard not just to relieve him of the responsibility, but then to beat Pepe Reina with the sort of shot that brooks no argument. Pointing to the heavens to salute his lamented mum and to his grief-stricken father, Frank Sr, who sat watery-eyed in the stand, Lampard dissolved in tears as his teammates mobbed him.

A month shy of his 30th birthday, Frank Jr, as he used to be known - his father had a long career with West Ham - is no wet-nursed sprog, but he had been closer to his parents than most sons, and remained so. This was evident in his acceptance speech after receiving the Footballer of the Year award in 2005, when he spoke at length about family values and the debt he owed his mother. Lampard needed parental encouragement to pursue a career in football, where public schoolboys are thin on the ground. Born and raised in Romford, he was educated at Brentwood School, where east London gives way to leafy Essex. In his biography, Totally Frank, he writes: “It was daunting to arrive at a place with the motto ‘Virtue, Learning, Manners’, when you’re a footballer’s son, but I got 10 GCSEs, and the school wanted me to stay on for my A-levels.”

Instead he took up the apprenticeship on offer at West Ham. “I wanted to be a footballer, and it worked,” he said. “But however substantial the debt I owe my dad for my career, I know I owe mum just as much for picking me up when I was down.” He was “down” a lot during his formative years in the game. Like Graeme Le Saux, who endured merciless ribbing for daring to differ from the laddish stereotype (Le Saux read The Guardian and liked to visit museums and go to the theatre) Lampard was the target of endless banter. Much more wounding, though, was the talk of nepotism. Frank Sr played for West Ham for nearly 20 years and was on Harry Redknapp’s coaching staff and the manager’s brother-in-law when “junior” broke into the team. “Being Frank Lampard’s son brought with it different rules to those which applied to every other player,” he writes. “People would approach me after games and say things like, ‘You played shit today, you’ve got some nerve, showing your face’. It got so bad I thought about jacking in football.

“One of the worst experiences was at a fans’ forum. One guy stood up and addressed Harry Redknapp. ‘Frank Lampard isn’t good enough for West Ham,’ he announced. ‘Why are you playing him? Is it because he’s your nephew?’ I was devastated and knew I had to get out. Now I find it amusing that West Ham fans justify their hatred on the basis that I left for Chelsea. Ex-West Ham favourite? They booed me for years. Now I don’t even look for their results.”

When I interviewed him soon after Claudio Ranieri had paid £11m for him, Lampard took the view that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, and the character he is showing now was forged in that early adversity. After the events in midweek, he may even get a more sympathetic reception the next time he returns to his old manor.

There have been times when he has deserved criticism. There were well-publicised scrapes with teammates, usually involving alcohol and female company, and he embarrassed himself, his family and Chelsea in September 2001 when he and others, including John Terry and Eidur Gudjohnsen, were thrown out of a Heathrow hotel for drunkenly stripping and vomiting in front of grieving Americans the day after 9/11. It is in Lampard’s favour that he has learnt from his mistakes and matured into an exemplary professional of whom Steven Gerrard says: “He is one of the nicest blokes I’ve ever met.”

Lampard has also felt unloved when playing for his country since his first cap in 1999. Gerrard said of him: “Frank was one of the main reasons England got to the 2006 World Cup; he was immense in qualifying.” By the time the finals came around, however, it was widely believed the pair were too similar in style to dovetail successfully and the Chelsea man fell from public favour, so much so that he was abused by the England fans. Can they learn to love him again? Time will tell, but if the crowd boo him at Wembley when the United States visit on May 28, they will all need heart scans – to check that they have one.

Lampard was not Chelsea’s only hero in their triumph over Liverpool, Drogba punishing Rafa Benitez for calling his equilibrium into question with two cracking goals, bookends to the penalty. The man from the Ivory Coast is a beast when roused, and the Liverpool manager’s talk of a “dossier” of Drobga’s dives and other liberties rattled his cage. As Ballack told me afterwards: “It provoked him, motivated him to play well. When Didier is like that, he’s a fantastic player, and he showed it.”

After so much negativity towards Avram Grant, much of it emanating from the dressing room, was it not time to give him some credit? Ballack said: “Avram has done a good job. For me, there’s no point changing the manager when we are successful. We are in the Champions League final and we have come back strongly in the Premier League, where I still expect us to challenge Man United for the title.”

And the European Cup? “It is very even, both teams have the same chance, there is no favourite. Both have had fantastic seasons. Man United are very strong, but so are we at the moment. The next three weeks should be fantastic for English football.” Amen to that.

The making of a hero

- Born into a footballing family, the son of Frank Lampard Sr, West Ham left-back who won two senior England caps

- Attends Brentwood School in Essex. Former pupils include Sir Robin Day, Griff Rhys Jones and Noel Edmonds

- Becomes West Ham regular in 1998-99

- Joins Chelsea in 2001 for £11m and is sent off in fourth Premier League match for the club, against Tottenham

- Wins Premier League (2005 and 2006), Carling Cup (2005 and 2007), FA Cup (2007) and Community Shield (2005)

- After mother Pat dies of complications from pneumonia on April 24, Lampard misses match against Manchester United

- Makes emotional return and scores penalty as Chelsea beat Liverpool to reach Champions League fina