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Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink may be King of the Moaners, the self-confessed Mr Grumpy in the Cardiff City camp, but he likes a joke, too. For the players' Christmas fancy dress party, he went as a Scotsman.
The memory still tickles him. “My name is Jimmy,” he said. “See you, Jimmy! Everybody had to wear a costume and do you know what I wore? A kilt!” And what about the ginger wig, Jimmy? “Aye,” he said, faking a Scottish accent. “And I had my knife in my sock. Everything, sorted. We went to Ireland.”
Dublin has recovered and Hasselbaink, far removed from his dour image, is up for the Cup. Swearing, laughing, smiling. Constantly. The much-travelled striker, once of Leeds United, Chelsea and Middlesbrough among others, cannot believe that Lady Luck has again sprinkled him with stardust in the twilight of his career.
“It means a hell of a lot to me,” Hasselbaink, 36, said. “And a little bit more because it is with Cardiff and nobody expected us to get this far. Excited? I am, I am, I am. It's more inside, but come Saturday it will all burst out. It's just crazy. But if you look at our run and how we did it, it's deserved.”
Hasselbaink has a Portuguese Cup winner's medal, gained when playing for Boavista. “But you can't compare that with this,” he said. “The FA Cup is ten million times bigger. Everyone watches it over the whole world. Every little boy who wants to be a footballer wants to win the FA Cup.”
From kick-off today, Hasselbaink will attempt to unsettle Sol Campbell and Sylvain Distin, the Portsmouth central defenders. His duels on the training ground with Glenn Loovens, the Cardiff centre back and a fellow Dutchman, have prepared him for any eventuality. “I want to train every day and, yes, I'm one of the biggest moaners on the pitch,” Hasselbaink said. “But I love having that confrontation with players like Glenn.
“On the pitch there is no respect and I like that. I don't mind him kicking me and he doesn't mind me kicking him back. But when we come off the pitch there has to be respect for each other. That's the beauty of it, that's the beauty of our squad.”
Loovens concurs. “Jimmy's a great guy,” the former Feyenoord defender said. “It's his mentality - he just wants to win, even in training. If he doesn't see you doing your 100 per cent best, he will say that to you.
“When he plays against me he moans because I kick him. Sometimes we scream at one another in Dutch and the other players are laughing. But the next day it's fine.”
For Loovens, too, the allure of the Cup is inescapable. A coachload of friends will be travelling from the Netherlands and Robin van Persie, the Arsenal striker and a former Feyenoord team-mate, has passed on advice. “I spoke to him after the semis,” Loovens said. “He called and just said, 'Enjoy the final.' I think he's coming over as well.”
Loovens, 24, has a long career ahead of him; Hasselbaink is winding down. “But, no, I'm not retiring,” the older man said. “Win or lose I'm not retiring. I don't want to say a lot about it, but it looks as if I'm going to stay at Cardiff.”
If so, the “See You, Jimmy” outfit could get another airing in December. And, yes, it is disconcerting to report that Hasselbaink had nothing under his kilt. “I did it properly,” he said. “I told you. Totally.” And if Cardiff win the Cup? “I'll dress up in whatever you want, mate.”
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