All is not lost. Joe Kinnear may turn out to be a terrible appointment, but it could have been worse . . .

Cheryl Cole Mrs Ashley Cole leaving The X-Factor and returning home to manage her local club? It would have ended in tears.

Tony Blair Former Prime Minister is a Newcastle United fan who loves a challenge. Brought peace and harmony to Northern Ireland, but St James’ Park may have been a bridge too far.

Ant and Dec Everything the Geordie kings of light entertainment touch turns to gold: Byker Grove, Pop Idol, Britain’s Got Talent. Football experience? Presenting Soccer Aid.

Brian Johnson Cloth-capped, gravel-voiced Geordie singer with heavy metal gods AC/DC. No management experience but would get St James’ Park rocking again.

Joey Barton Newcastle midfield player is banned from playing after assaulting a former team-mate but could have juggled community service with interim management role.

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Best of the web: 'Kinnear? When will this nightmare end?'

“Relegation. I’m running to the bookies now.”
football365.com

“This is getting like Fawlty Towers, just when you think the next episode can’t get any funnier, it does.”
readytogo.net

“I want to kill myself. Does anyone own a gun?”
footballnetwork.net

“I love the autumn. Don’t know why, I always have done. Maybe it’s the colour on the trees, memories of summer holidays still fresh, kicking through piles of leaves as you walk the dog, collecting conkers for the kids, the crisp fresh air, the watery blue sky. Or it could be Newcastle’s annual meltdown.”
bbc.co.uk/606

“How can one man bring about the demise of a football club so quickly? I mean, we’ve always been a bit of a laughing stock and always looked on the verge of financial meltdown, but \ Ashley has come in and in little over a year almost completely torn the club apart.”
football365.com

“This is the most humiliating appointment ever made by a Premier League club. I am over the moon at the news.”
readytogo.net

“Joe Kinnear says that he only expects to be here for a few weeks. At least he has the courage to try and help us considering the dire situation we are in both off and on the pitch. I will be supporting him.”
nufc-forum.com

“Kinnear? When will this nightmare end?”
timesonline.co.uk

“What was the question if ‘Joe Kinnear’ is the answer? The only question that I can think of is: ‘Dennis, do you know an unsuccessful, retired, lower-league manager who hasn’t said ‘no’ yet?’ ”
bbc.co.uk/606